Shock Horror

[Barebones]

well pysio therapist phoned me today saying that she spoke to the other pysio therapist who deals with eating disorders, is that i have go ahead to do group excercising. why shock horror though is that i know that they restrict excercise and certain ones and they do 1 to 1 meetings is that they dont over do it and that they dont compare with other people in how they look ect. so i feel now that im being set a side of my eating disorder which i have sufferd since i was 13 yet again. what am i not thin enough for them? or ill enough? i know that my borderline personality disorder is making me feel this way but ive never learnt not to think things like this. i opend up to the pysio the other day and told her about my ed and told her that i havent really been eating past 5 weeks and i have lost weight. is that it must not matter so i can carry on.she did tell me to eat somthing before i start on that day but bugger it whats the point, im not happy eating just now so why should i. this is total opposite to what my nurse from day hospital said to me, is that she wants bloods off me to check and if i dont compromise is that they will give me vitamin injection. but nayway i know my bloods is going to be allright they was fine last year when i was hardly eating and i was really bad with alcohol which i was living on. my body seems to be strong what ever i do to it. so i they going to disreguard me like pysio if my bloods is fine?

what the heck eh, admit that you got ed and try to be honest in how you feel gets you no help. its allways been like this.

makes me think i should suffer more.

thaks for listening to my rant.

[mimi]

Barebones

I'm sorry but I'm not sure what to say but I just wanted you to know that someone is reading your post and is thinking of you. Hope you can manage to sort something out with the physio that works for you.

Thinking of you

Mimi x

[kirsty545]

hope you can sort things out with your physio glad they called like they said they would

[Barebones]

ive got nothing to sort out with pysio, this is going to be what im doing. what the heck i need to lose more weight anyway.

[Nina of the Light]

sounds like they don't even know what they're doing...

you'd think with a confession of ed, they'd do everything they can.

but losing more weight to get their attn is def not the way to go. just keep voicing yourself. make them listen. they may be dense.

here for you always.

just a sidenote.... i appreciate you being at the "party" yesterday. if it hadn't been for you it would've started with only vr and i. you made it so fun and you were by far my favorite guest!!!!

wish you well, dear. am here if you need to talk.

[Shellybelly]

hey bb

right well i have a boderline ed well im not fully fitting into any category to say i have one as im still not too thin or fat and still healthy bloods wise so i see what you mean bout the doctors dismissing you when they see that the bloods are fine especially if you have just told them you have a ed and they dismiss you i think with the bpd it make it worse as you feel that you must be fat you need to lose more there laughing at me since im so fat all these thoughs but bb there not it feels that way but thats just cause our thinking is not working properly and we need to recognise that and try and work with the doctors..

when your not eating you body stores fat so you wont lose weight fast like you want i was told to try the gi foods and eat them could you look up that and try eat some of those foods you need to eat really cause without food in you your body becomes angry and it make you react more strongly and depressed to situations and you dont need them feeling to be stronger it will make you feel worse it long run..

also another thing i find to help me eat and try reduce the thought and feeling when you eat is try eat at times there something interesting you really like on tv and eat then as the tv will distract you from the food and you eating..

bb i dont think your post was a rant either it was a cry for help you were so brave addmitting you have a ed and well done for that continue to see the doctors and try eat for your sack!!

im here if you wanna talk keep posting if it help and well done for admitting your problem that the first step next one is tough too eatting but it can be done and i know you will do it.. your strong to get this far keep fighting

Mickey

[Barebones]

thanks nina and mickey and everyone else.

as you read mickey ive done this since 13, i know how much weight you can lose with not eating and restricting diet, one for im back in my old jeans which is 8 to 10 size and i know how fast it came off. i also suffer from under active thyroid which puts on weight and lowers your metrobloic rate. it hasnt happend to me ive been able to lose heaps of weight doing what im doing and its been for years its only this past yeah and half is that i put weight on from beer. thats with not eating much. i do know from doing all this is you will put weight on as its in stave mode as you have used all your resorses of fat. but ive been able to maintaint that with my control of food. this is learned behaviour since early age and its crap when they say you wont lose weight if stop eating. its like my alcohol therapist when i was in hospital in my 20s he li8ed im not going to die in 10 years.i know they are trying to help but every body is diffrent and i know mine i would as been doing this for such a long time.

my doctors have never delt with my eating problems and actually mickey you dont have to be thin to fat to have eating disorder. in the end if carry on that your health worsens. in past i guess been ok with myself but nowi feel that after all this time i would get some help, how is this when you got a daughter and you dont eat? how is that effecting her. ffs i myself tries not to show my problems to her but she knows that somthing isnt right. and im sick of it. my old pdoc even specialised in eating disorders and he dindt even put me in his clinic because all i can guess is that im not ill enough or under weight. but wtf bulimics mostly keeps same weight anyway, because laxatives and being sick doesnt work becasue of the binging. he put me on a anti d that sorts out the binging for fucks sake. he knows i have issues but he refuses to deal with it. been like this since i saw him last when i was in my early twenties and i trusted him and came of laxtvies and making myself sick and starving myself but when i was in hospital starving came back. but hell no iterest just like bpd at that time.

anyway again enough of my rant. they can take blood ill do what i feel is right, black or white or what the fuk is they should deal with it.

[Shellybelly]

bb

do me a favour print what you wrote here and give it your doctors show them cause i can clearly see from what you have wrote you need and deserve help for this problem and fight for it till you get it.. dont continue to stop eating eat 3 small meals a day for your daughter sake if not for you i feel the love you have for her in your post dont let the ed beat you bb eat try eat continue aa and stop drinking.. make the doctor see you need help ok!!

fight this bb for yourself and your family

[Barebones]

mickey there is no point in printing this out, i have to say i have new pdoc who seems to be willing to help, but she doesnt knwo the extent of how things are. she was pleased last appointment that i smiled,god if they only knew.

i talked to my husband last night tried to tell him how things was and that. not sure if he understood or not.

ffs everyone wanted me of alcohol because supposbly it was making me worse, what the fuk do they know. now im near off it they have no clue or anything to deal with the problems that come from being of it.

oh i dont know, i havent took my meds so thats not helping. sry for moaning about this.

[Shellybelly]

no bb dont be sorry comin off the drink was the major problem now thats nearly gone you have realised that the eating problem is just as much of the problem as was the drink but the drink was covering it up so that people dont see the ed now you can just give people time to see what you have just realised.. keep talking and hopefully soon people will see and understand..

sorry bb inot much help right now not in good form myself but just know i care about you and well done for getting on so well with the drinking problem now just use the strenght you used to fight thaat and do it again to fight the eating disorder your strong bb you can do this

cuddles you

mickey