*mickey 1st Achievement*

[Shellybelly]

my first achievement was that i went ouy last night and i asked a mod could it be included as it was big one for me and i did so well that i felt i should be allow include it.. and the mod agreed

i went out last nite and i was full sure it was a complete failure and i had screwed up but then i came into chat earlier and was talking to em and a few other in their and with their help they helped me focus on the positives of the night we had so many we lost count but here are a few of them

i ate dinner- big achievment to me as i rarely eat theses day and never in front of others so eating in a restraunt onfront of 5 others was huge for me

i got al dressed up and had my hair done all nice and got told how lovely i looked

i smiled and laughed at all the right times when i was suppose to instead of looking sad like normal so that was an achievment too

i managed not to show how nervous or upset i was and coped with all the stress when out by myself

i stayed out the whole nite even though i just wanted to come home and cry my eyes out but i didnt i stayed and smiled

i managed to forget at times i was upset and had some fun

mam and everyone else had good fun so i didnt ruin there night

i managed to see positives of the night and make them out way the negitive

i made myself go out even though i was in a panic before i left but pushed myself and i did it

im happy that i went out and i feel that i achieved something

so there a few of the good things i did last night and as em and the others said i should be well proud of myself cause i did it i went out and i must say i did enjoy it even if it wasnt exactly how i wnted it but it will get easier as i do it more and been out in a crowded room was a huge achievement for me so i am rightly very proud of myself and i didnt drink alcohol either as i knew it would make me worse so i didnt as i was mature and seen the consequnes of it if i did so that was an excellent descion too that i made

just wanted ye all to know so i can boosst how good i did ALL positives to remember dont know any negitives anymore (see em i did it) lol

[Marchmadness]

Mickey -

Excellent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March

[Rael]

wonderful im so pround of you.

:bigarmhug[1]: :bigarmhug[1]: :bigarmhug[1]:

[19ellie]

Fantastic !!

:hug2:

[Shellybelly]

mickeys 2nd achievment

ok well my second achieventment is big for me but maybe small for other i have started to stand up for myself when some ones say something to me

i now ask what do you mean by that and ask can you explain it please

like last night something was said to me and in steas of letting it upset me and get out of control

i asked so i could see was the statement true or was it just one person

so my head couldnt make me feel everyone hate me

then today my mum said something to me that upset me and made me feel stupid and

i asked her could she explain what she mean please

and then when she had i explained calmly without tears or total panic

that i would like her not to keep telling me how i feel

and how i should think or tell me i was wrong it was like this that you were

i know how it made me feel so accept that and if she wants then she offer me advise on how i could

maybe change it next time to change these feelings

im not sure the 2 people will change but it has made me see in two minor incidents

that i can stand up for me and it wont make the whole world against me

so im proud of myself for starting to learn to stand up for myself

in a more mature manner as before i would have stormed out or went in a huff

now im beginning to see better ways of dealin with difficult minor situations

so hopefully i can work up and do bigger ones

it the first step in a long road and im proud of me for learning how

Mickey

[Barebones]

first to say good going on standing up for youself, dont allways beleive its your mental illness or lack of confidence in doing this.

example if i may. my husband tells me things like when in wrong which ok then i ask for example before beleiving it. if it is the case then i listen and learn, if its not i make him understand why he is wrong. dont except people knowing things about you and what mood your in. thats how personailty clashes happen but thats the worse case or misunderstanding somone.just because they think dont mean its right. allways ask if you think you need to, having mental illness doesnt make us stupid and that we dont know whats going on. i could say more but i wont but im glad you did this as it helps with self confidence. so listenand learn if not ask questions.

[Shellybelly]

ok my 3rd achievement

well for thi one i went to my cbt session and had wrote poems like she asked me to do

she never asked me to bring them with me as she felt that mite be a bit much for me

but i did bring 4 of them with me and gave them to her

i was very nervous going this week to cbt as lasts weeks one

was very tough and i had a difficult evening after it

so although i never managed to sleep last i made myself get up washed dressed nice

and have all my poems wrote nice

and drove the 50 mins drive there and back and ditract myself so as to not panic

and i was open and honest with her on my poems

and when asked to read 1 of them out loud myself i did it

even though i was nervous

i also tried not to be in such a protective sitting position too

and she noticed too that i had let down some of the barrier i had up

against her and that i was starting to open up

she was also very proud of my poems

said there absolutly fantastic and instead of asking if she sure

are you lying i said thank you and accepted the positive statement she made to me

so i feel this was an achievement that i have done so well with my cbt and have improved

and that i have worked so hard at it

and that its showing to other people and its worth the hard work

so made me want to keep up the effort and do what she asked this week

and continue to try accept positive statement made to me

instead of throwing it away

Mickey

[Shellybelly]

my 4th achievment

wow im doing well on these achievement

ok this one is that i have not sh even under stress for the past 24 hours

i think this is an achievement as last nite i was upset over a comment said to me

and then i was alone in house for hour and normally ill panic and get suicicdal

but i didnt let myself

and when my brother came in drunk as a skunt

i had to dragged him upstaier to bed

before mum or HIM seen him

i fell trying to get him up the stair

but i stayed as calm as possible for me

and even though i cried i never gave in to the urges to sh

which in the past i would have

and last nite and all morning with worry bout cbt i still have not let myself sh

so i have done my longest time 24 hour with no sh

oh and i ate dinner today chips and chicken nuggetts from mcdonalds

and i didnt get sick and i like it

and i kept telling myself it good and talkin myself in my head saying positives about it

and i still have it in me

and not cut or let the thoughts win

i feel this is a great achievement for me

and am proud of me for this too

Mickey

[Barebones]

bloody good going mickey it all helps. im proud of ya

[19ellie]

wow well done mickey!

[Shellybelly]

ok my 5th achievement

is that yesterday i had a absoulute hell of a day and

twanted to od and i did sh and didnt sleep at all the nite before

and normally i would see this as a failure and a sign that im a screw up

but now i am going to be positve on it

and see that yes it was a bad day

but i survived it and was strong and got through the day

and managed to be strong enough to last another day

and i also seen that although i had a bad day

and felt i was annoting everyone with my problems

well this site is here for support

and i support others too

as was pointed out to me doctors are for help

friends are for support

and all you guys on here are my friends and ye do a brill job

and i do my best as well and thats all anyone can do

so all in all yesterday was a sucess as i learned a good few lessons from it and managed to see positve

from something that felt like hell on earth

so once again im proud of me

Hugs ye

Mickey

[Shellybelly]

ok my 6th achievement

well this one is that i managed to get up have a shower

first proper one in a week or so i thing due to my damaged arms

and i managed to get dressed nice put make up on

dry my hair and straighen it

and im doing something nice for mum

im bringing her to visit her brother and sisters

for the evening and they live a hour away

so she dont see them much so im been nice to her

and not just thinking of me even though i still feel shit

im making myself get up and get out of my comfort spot

and now im going hovering and cleaning the house to give mum a break

so gotta go..

so today is a sucess as im makin myself

stop hidin in my room when i feel so bloody shit

and im getting up and out there to the big scary world

which i DONT do when i normally feel like this

im been nice to me and my mum and am going to try be nice to others too today

and share mickeys love around so im faking it till i make it

great advise that one

so im proud of me AGAIN

i love this achievement post

as its encouraging me to see positive

cause i like writhing them here and feeling that people

are proud of me and see all the good i am doing too..

hugs ye

Mickey

[medea]

Hi Mickey, that is all so encouraging, takes an awful lot of strength to face the world when you feel bad, well done you!

[bluebird]

mickey - I want to say very well done with all the work you are doing this week. Yes you certainly do help others - you helped me the other day in chat despite your own problems.

Keep up the positivity and reframe situations. You're doing well and I hope you are feeling better about things allround x

[kirsty545]

well done mickey try to focus on your achievements or read this post when considering sh remember how good it felt not to sh

[Shellybelly]

I reached number 7 lol

that alone im proud for i got to 7 first yipppee for me

ok well my 7th one is massive had to save the best for 7

so last nite i planned on killing myself by starving myself to death

and i do have an ed so i rarely eat and if i do it TINY and wouldnt feed a baby

but today i have so far eaten 1 slice of toast

drank a cup of tea (normally only allow myself water)

then there i ate dinner i had chicken breast and 1 potatoe

and i have eaten it all and i DIDNT get sick

and i drank a glass of milk with it

for me too eat ALL that is massive

and i have decided i dont want to starve myself to death i wanna fight

and live another bit anyways and if i do die starving is too hard

and make me look pale and yukky so i look terrible dead like that

and i wont have that i have some pride in how i look

so im eating and not giving up on life

and i also achieved my fake it till you make it thing too

as now i feel really positive and i think it showin too in my posts as well

and i feel ok now i not forcin myself to be ok i just am ok and that brill

IM REALLY PROUD OF ME

i achieved so much in the last few days and worked really hard and all my effort is payong off

and im in better mood and have the house lovely and clean for mum so she happy

and i feel i helped a few people here too today

and i look all nice washed and dressed

and i doing a great job

ADVISE FOR ALL

be positive

Hugs ye

Mickey

[pgiggle]

Congratulations Mickey!!!!!

i am so proud of you and what you have achieved, keep it up 'cos your sharing it makes us all feel better

[em]

Well Mickey, What can I say. Well done for all your hard work over the last few days, I know it hasnt been easy for you, but you have kept going, kept looking for the positive things in your life. Keep it up!!!

[Todash]

I know how hard that was for you. Im proud of the way you are trying so hard to heal. Keep it up!!!!

[19ellie]

WELL DONE !

[Rael]

WELL DONE I know how hard it must have been for you do manage all of that but you have proven what a strong person you are. keep up the good work.

all the best

donna

xxx