Rael Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 The smoke spirals up in wisps.The music thuds in the background as the figures glide from side to side.The eyes watch, half closed in ecstasy.The blade shimmers as he slides it across his arms.The blood trickles, thick and dark ‘till it reaches his hands.Then he moves.He lifts his hands to his mouth and tilts his head to the sky.His mouth opens in mock prayer as the trickle drips into his mouth.The blood hit’s the back of his throat and his eyes tighten.His head drops down onto his chest.The noise in his head is almost unbearable.The blade rings as it hit’s the ground andHis head shoots up as if someone were there.Then he sees it.Pale and hideous it stands there.Only its mouth seems to move but he hears no noise.He raises his fist and powers it towards the creature.He feels no pain as his fist rips through the mirror, only hatedriven by the incessant screaming in his head.The shattering glass separates the flesh from his hand.The blood flows faster now, dripping in time to the music but the figure does not more.He stands, hand half through the biting bare frame.Shards of reflection fall around him, the occasional speck lost within the red flow.The noise in his head overwhelms him and he falls to the floor weeping.Silence, violent and sudden, overwhelms him.As he remains on the floor he is unaware of the cessation of the voices.A tap on his shoulder.For a few seconds he remains still.He dares to glance at a shard of glass to see the figure reflected behind him.Human.Eyes wide with fear he turns, expectant of a sudden change,The eyes to darken, fingers to claws, teeth to razors.Calm to endless rage.Nothing.Only a woman standing, fearful.Glancing quickly between the mirror and the streams of blood,Yet calm she stands, sympathetic, concerned.He reaches for her hand, for her kindness.Needing to be held.Nothing.Then his hand snaps back and his head rips up.He screams with rage at her accusing, prying eyesHe lunges at her, his hand wiping blood over her face,Slapping her as he strains to get a grip on her. They fall to the floor in a seemingly unending struggle.He gets his hands around her neck and starts to squeeze.The monsters flash before his face and his grip tightens.She stops struggling.The monsters disappear.He moves his hands from her face and her eyes are glassy, staringHe grabs a piece of glass and throws it in her face.Destroying the lies she would have told,The faceless monster he saw reflected in her expression.He slashes away unthinkingly and the room swims with blood.The face remains a mere bowl with its sick fruit of bone and blood.Holding tight the glass he raises it for one final thrust, and catches his reflection in the spreading pool.It stands once again, within his flesh, creeping inside his bones, taking his mind.He sees his chance and the glass enters its stomach smoothly.He watches the reflection as he pulls it out and stabs again, and again, and again.The creature howls with pain and, gratified, he aims for the killing blow.Then he falls, and the glass slides gently from his throat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgiggle Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 OMG and Wow, such powerful imagerythankyou for sharing your talent Rael. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulrica Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Wow, that blew me away totally... Amazing stuff... wow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickyP Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todash Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Oh my. I realize this is the creative corner, but I found that very disturbing. Is this written from an experience? If not, then it is very creative. I never would have thought about killing someone else and then myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted February 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 thankyou, i really wa not sure what kind of reaction to expect from this i dont mean to disturb anyone. i cant really say whether its from experience or not i guess it kinda is because its from images and flashes that i get. but im glad that people seem to like it :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted February 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2008 before anyone reads this I am putting an extra TRIGGER warning on this because im really not sure how this is gonna go i dont want anyone to say they werent warned. i know im going to be judged by this and i dont know why i need to post it but i have to get it out maybe get it away from me. sorry. its not expressing my opinions or anything i was just words that needed to come out, sorry imj rambling but i feel the need to try to explain myself.Pure white carpeted bliss.Untouched beauty spreads itself wide over cold darkness.Standing naked in the rain of ice I hold my head to the sky.It must be done.The need grabs me and shows her to me.Bedraggled, dirty, disgusting.A yellow speck in the beautiful white.Spoiling the surface,Spoiling me.Approaching, justifiedThe knife behind my back.She doesn’t move as I near her,Simply staring stupidly.Hoping I will pay for her dirty, disgusting form.I bring the knife out.Still she stands dully.She makes no sound as the knife enters her stomach, Only her head moves as she stares at the expanding red.It starts to drip to the floor.Spoiling the precious carpet.I push her into a doorway.She has no right to mar the vision of perfection.I pull out the gun.This will be too quick for her but my anger overwhelms me.I squeeze the trigger gently.The bullet explodes towards her,Seeking revenge for what has been lost.She makes no sound.The bullet rips through her skullShattering it into a million pieces.Her eye alone remainsHanging loosely by a single thread.Then she falls.I scoop up the marred snow and throw it over her.Then I close the door behind me.It is done.The beauty is restored. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pgiggle Posted February 24, 2008 Report Share Posted February 24, 2008 Pauls Judgement Is.....OMFG that is an amazing piece Raelagain you prove your talents with imagry and powerplease do not be shy in sharing these things, the trigger warning is there for people to take notice of.i hope it helps you writting these things down :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbidsoul Posted February 24, 2008 Report Share Posted February 24, 2008 good stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharcoalKiss Posted December 17, 2008 Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 I am dumbstruck.Such powerful imagery. Your words... amazing. Such grace and beauty and get such pain. Such unadulterated agony put forth in words so beautiful and pure. You are truly talented Rael. As dark and as gruesome as the content, these words are blissful in their eloquence. The imagery is so clear. Your talent. Endless. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayz Posted December 17, 2008 Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 The smoke spirals up in wisps.The music thuds in the background as the figures glide from side to side.The eyes watch, half closed in ecstasy.The blade shimmers as he slides it across his arms.The blood trickles, thick and dark ‘till it reaches his hands.Then he moves.He lifts his hands to his mouth and tilts his head to the sky.His mouth opens in mock prayer as the trickle drips into his mouth.The blood hit’s the back of his throat and his eyes tighten.His head drops down onto his chest.The noise in his head is almost unbearable.The blade rings as it hit’s the ground andHis head shoots up as if someone were there.Then he sees it.Pale and hideous it stands there.Only its mouth seems to move but he hears no noise.He raises his fist and powers it towards the creature.He feels no pain as his fist rips through the mirror, only hatedriven by the incessant screaming in his head.The shattering glass separates the flesh from his hand.The blood flows faster now, dripping in time to the music but the figure does not more.He stands, hand half through the biting bare frame.Shards of reflection fall around him, the occasional speck lost within the red flow.The noise in his head overwhelms him and he falls to the floor weeping.Silence, violent and sudden, overwhelms him.As he remains on the floor he is unaware of the cessation of the voices.A tap on his shoulder.For a few seconds he remains still.He dares to glance at a shard of glass to see the figure reflected behind him.Human.Eyes wide with fear he turns, expectant of a sudden change,The eyes to darken, fingers to claws, teeth to razors.Calm to endless rage.Nothing.Only a woman standing, fearful.Glancing quickly between the mirror and the streams of blood,Yet calm she stands, sympathetic, concerned.He reaches for her hand, for her kindness.Needing to be held.Nothing.Then his hand snaps back and his head rips up.He screams with rage at her accusing, prying eyesHe lunges at her, his hand wiping blood over her face,Slapping her as he strains to get a grip on her. They fall to the floor in a seemingly unending struggle.He gets his hands around her neck and starts to squeeze.The monsters flash before his face and his grip tightens.She stops struggling.The monsters disappear.He moves his hands from her face and her eyes are glassy, staringHe grabs a piece of glass and throws it in her face.Destroying the lies she would have told,The faceless monster he saw reflected in her expression.He slashes away unthinkingly and the room swims with blood.The face remains a mere bowl with its sick fruit of bone and blood.Holding tight the glass he raises it for one final thrust, and catches his reflection in the spreading pool.It stands once again, within his flesh, creeping inside his bones, taking his mind.He sees his chance and the glass enters its stomach smoothly.He watches the reflection as he pulls it out and stabs again, and again, and again.The creature howls with pain and, gratified, he aims for the killing blow.Then he falls, and the glass slides gently from his throat.WOW that is truly touchin and when i started readin i couldnt take my eyes off it untl i finished!!!!!! i love it... well done ... thanks 4 sharin i have saved this to my favs will read ur other one later as im off out take care... crazy- hayz xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted December 17, 2008 Report Share Posted December 17, 2008 I only just read this and was mesmerised! Such powerful imagery. My favourite line is "shards of reflection fall all around him". Wow. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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