Should I Report My Cpn?

[Rael]

Since Sunday i have been in major crisis. i have posted about some of it but it all came to a head and i was scared. so i reached out for help. luckily i had hidden what i have said i have been saving at work so i had no access to it, but i was concerned that going back to work and having access again might be dangerous. i phoned the crisis team who were very nice but said they couldnt do anything as i needed to be referred to them. as it was a sunday my only option was the hospital. being in a panic and unable to move i phoned normed (out of hours service) who said i needed to come to them (a half hour walk i was not fit to make) and basically told me that my actions were my own to decide. even so i still thought fair enough as i was in no state to argue and the crisis team had agreed to leave a message for my psychologist to get back to me early mon morning.

mon came and went and no phonecall. i managed with the help of a very caring friend and people from here. today i was at the end of my tether and decided to call campbell house (where my mental health team are based). they got my CPN to ring me back. i was in severe crisis at the time and was trying my best to do as i had been asked to do (ie reach out for help). she was rude and abrupt with me, put me down, made me feel silly for feeling the way i did. but the final straw came when she said to me that if i was going to do something stupid then she will cancel my psychologists appointment as i wont need it if i wont be around. at which point i said "ok, fine" and hung up.

i was in a major state by the time i arrived at work but did have the good impulse to ask my friend to find my tablets for me and flush them. he couldnt find them (which is worrying in itself) but at least i dont have them anymore. i am now in two minds whether to drop from the services altogether as they are clearly being no help (except for my psychologist, who i would be in pieces if i had to do without at least for now) and whether to lodge a formal complaint against my CPN? as far as i can tell i was following the instructions i was given which was to ask for help, i was repeatedly told that the services were there to use, but when it comes to using them it seems to be a different matter.

thanks

donna

xxx

(may have made mistake and put this in wrong forum sorry)

[Faerielight]

that is a terrible way to be treated by your cpn.. certainly not on what she said. i would try and communicate to the team what she said.. it is out of order and unproffessional, and could've tipped you over the edge to od.. big hug, bluebell x

[icu_baby]

You should definitely make a formal complaint. This CPN nurse should not be working with people who are suicidal if she can't be sympathetic. She clearly diverted from her duty of care to get you help and put you in a safe place. If you had harmed yourself she would be in big trouble. Sometimes clinicians who have BPD clients take a "risk" in that they refrain from offering help because while in the short term it may help you, in the long term it will not benefit you. I think she wanted you to take responsibility for your actions and learn how to control your impulses but I think she took a big risk in my view. She was very rude and this is not on. It almost sounded like she was "egging" you on or "daring" you to do it but threatening to counsel your appointments. This is not only unprofessional but unethical so you need to report her. I am glad everything turned out ok but next time it won't. After you complain def find someone else, there is no use staying with her.

[rebeccaborderline]

I would strongly advise you against making a formal complaint about your CPN. I dont know about where you live, but here they are the gatekeepers for the hospital beds (above the psychiatrists, crazy isnt it?!) and wield a lot of power.

I complained about the actions of my CPN (not returning crisis calls for 2-3 weeks, and other stuff); it totally backfired. I got a new CPN but she was distant and unfriendly, I definately got a sense that she was unwilling to work with me as I had "badmouthed" her collegue. The original CPN never spoke to me again, not even to say hello in the corridor where we crossed often, and would throw me filthy looks which I thought very unprofessional (but reinforced my opinion of her).

Eventually I dropped out of the CPN system altogether as was making me ill, all the bad feeling and "imaginary" support. So that was my loss, a form of support I was legally supposed to have (as being on an enhanced care plan) disappeared, basically because I had made a complaint.

So be careful; much as you may dislike it, try to work with them, they can be powerful

rebeccaborderline

PS I later discovered that my original CPN was moonlighting by doing night shifts for an agency on the local psychiatric wards...would explain why she neglected her day job, eh?

[Shellybelly]

hi rael

i think best thing for now is for you to look after you and get support from friends and family and here and treat yourself well and please make sure to take your meds and stay safe hun as we care alot bout you on here

then when you in better state you should complain bout that cpn as she treated you totally unfairly and it makes me so angry that you didnt get the support and help you truely deserve if i was there id kick that cpn butt for you..

could you ask to have a different cpn as you dont feel safe with the one you have maybe

and please come on here and ask us for support or to talk if you ever need to were here for you no matter what that ass of a cpn says you definitly shouldnt try to harm yourself your too nice a person

BIG HUGS

mickey

[lucy]

Talk to her, say how you felt. Talk to your psychologist aswell

I would do that rather than formally complain

[NickyP]

complaining won't get you anywhere, and it will be put down to you being a crazy borderline and misinterpreting what she said unfortunately.

[fredy]

I agree with what Nicky has said. I complained about my SW after she told my mum that I was shing, even though I told her directly that she didn't know and I didn't want her to know. It has since been thrown back at me by my shrink that I'm argumentative and am refusing help from people that want to help me.

[19ellie]

I agree too. My friend said I should put in a complaint about how I found out about my diagnosis, but I feel it would do more damage in the long run.

[pinkprincess]

I also feel let down by the system, last year when I was seeking Crisis help I heard the comment 'not her again' as she was heading to answer my call. So from that i felt like a comlete burden on the people that were supposed to be there to help me & never kept any furthur appointments with my CPN.

Maybe as someone else suggested to try another CPN :bigarmhug[1]:

[Rael]

i have decided not to make a formal complainti but to discontiue my meetings with her. i havnt yet decided whether i will ask for a different cpn as this has seriously dented my opinions of them.

thankyou all for your advice

donna

xxx

[icu_baby]

i have decided not to make a formal complainti but to discontiue my meetings with her. i havnt yet decided whether i will ask for a different cpn as this has seriously dented my opinions of them.

thankyou all for your advice

donna

xxx

Hi donna,

You shouldn't stop treatment just because you had a bad experience with one inadequate dumb ass nurse. There are other CPN's that will be caring and I urge you to get another one.

I respect your decision not to complain but did you explain your feelings to your CPN nurse when you told her you wish to discontinue treatment? I know with me if I tell someone that they hurt me and why (esp a professional) I feel better then keeping it in.

[icu_baby]

I also feel let down by the system, last year when I was seeking Crisis help I heard the comment 'not her again' as she was heading to answer my call. So from that i felt like a comlete burden on the people that were supposed to be there to help me & never kept any furthur appointments with my CPN.

Maybe as someone else suggested to try another CPN

Gee, that is terrible and hurtful. Did you tell her that you heard what she said. Was she two faced when she got on the phone with you (eg was she acting nice)?

Sometimes I wonder that some CPN (not sure exactly what they do as I don't live in the UK) are just working for the money and don't really give a shit about people.

ps I wish I knew how to do one of those big arm hugs.

[icu_baby]

complaining won't get you anywhere, and it will be put down to you being a crazy borderline and misinterpreting what she said unfortunately.

Dear Nicky, you are a DBT facilitator so I presume you know how the mental health system works and I respect your professional opinion re complaining wont get us anywhere because we will be put down as crazy borderlines, who lie, misinterpret etc...Raels case it would probably be not beneficial for her esp since she is not in a good position at the moment so I take back my advice for her.

However, my concern is that if we don't complain, how will we ever improve health services to us as some continue to be neglected?

I understand that some can choose to have another CPN (which is good if you find a good CPN) but from what I am gauge from this thread is that many people with BPD fill so dismayed and so disenchanted by there treatment that they are reluctant to seek further help and continue treatment with someone else for fear that the same awful experience might happen so what inevitably happens is that many people with BPD are left to deal with things on their own.

ps - I know that writing a formal complaint may be a traumatic experience, do u know of any cases where there has been repercussions when someone has complained?

[wednesday]

I agree with Nicky. Unfortunately, you have to learn to play the game to get the help you want.

I think you should speak both to your CPN and your psychologist and agree a protocol for what should happen when you are in real distress. Do you have a psychiatrist? Ultimately they are in charge of your care.

[pinkprincess]

I also feel let down by the system, last year when I was seeking Crisis help I heard the comment 'not her again' as she was heading to answer my call. So from that i felt like a comlete burden on the people that were supposed to be there to help me & never kept any furthur appointments with my CPN.

Maybe as someone else suggested to try another CPN

Gee, that is terrible and hurtful. Did you tell her that you heard what she said. Was she two faced when she got on the phone with you (eg was she acting nice)?

Sometimes I wonder that some CPN (not sure exactly what they do as I don't live in the UK) are just working for the money and don't really give a shit about people.

ps I wish I knew how to do one of those big arm hugs.

Hi, Thanks for replying to me. No I didn't say anything to her. And i cant really remember what the conversation was after i heard her say it, i only know that i needed to speak to someone on the crisis team, as thats who i'd used when my CPN (community psyciatric nurse) wasn't avaible. I was extremely broken by the comment as she was the lady who i'd found some confidence in opening up to.. That happened at the begining of last year & i haven't even had the confidence to see my GP either since then.

I hope someone gets help from these experiences & doesn't let it happen to them :hug2:

[icu_baby]

I agree with Nicky. Unfortunately, you have to learn to play the game to get the help you want.

I think you should speak both to your CPN and your psychologist and agree a protocol for what should happen when you are in real distress. Do you have a psychiatrist? Ultimately they are in charge of your care.

Hi Wednesday,

Can you please explain how you can play the game to get what you want.

I am finding that there are alot of people on this forum that just don't know what to do or get help for themselves or advocate or whatever after they have been done by?

Can you please be kind enough to give some detailed suggestions? Going to see a psychiatrist is a good start but not everyone can afford one and sometimes the waiting list is too great. I am sort of out of ideas atm.

Thanks

[wednesday]

Hello icu,

Forgive me if I have got the wrong end of the stick here. As I understand it, if you are properly diagnosed with bpd, a psychiatrist has a duty of care to you. ie if you have a serious psychiatric illness, someone has a responsibility for your care. Who gave you the diagnosis and is directing your care? I am only talking about the system which operates within the NHS.

Next step-- when you are feeling well, and are able to be objective as possible, it is a good idea to discuss what should happen in a crisis situation. You need to be reasonable and uncritical of individuals. You need to explain (I suggest to your psychologist, in the first instance,) how you felt the system did not work for you, that you are trying to follow the rules, but at the time, you did not know what else you were supposed to do.

Remember, it is not their duty to cure you, only to help you.

Wed

[pucca_chick]

hi, i dont have any good advice on what you can do, possibly wait until you feel up to it and question her about it, tell her how it made you feel, then you might have a better idea of what is right to do. maybe record it(dnt know if thats legal) so if she says something mean you have it on tape as eveidence then u wont be labelled the crazy over reacting borderline(this is my little fantasy that i wished id had). as for my opinion of the CPN, i think you are in the right, under no circumstances was she proffessional or ethical, im 19 yrs old and have no qualifications and even i know to have the common decency never mind common sense to know that those words were not helpful but hurtful and it was a HUGE risk. i dont know how she slept that night really.

sorry i cant help much. xx

[siwedgewood]

In my experience the professionals will usually automatically believe each other rather than the patient, so it's very hard to know what is the best course. I remember a number of occasions when one or more professionals would behave outrageously towards vulnerable patients, and get away scot-free.

I once told a social worker about some of the appalling unprofessional (or should I say criminal) events I'd either witnessed or heard about, and her only reaction was that "These are people I have worked with!" In short, she didn't want to hear it.

[dolphin859]

Hi Donna

That is really horrible what your cpn said, i feel like the crisis team don't want to know alot of the time when i've spoken to them, i haven't been with my cpn that long so still getting to know her but she does seem quite nice from what i've seen and there's a cpn taking over from her as she's pregnant and she's suppose to be an expert on bpd so hopefully she will be able to understand and help me. I know your last cpn might have been horrible but maybe you could try someone else as they may be more understanding and helpful. I've had my ups and downs with psychiatrists and counsellors and its taken 5 years to get someone who seems to want to help, so maybe if you keep trying you will find someone who can help.

It annoys me though about how they see us bpd sufferers because its been said that we don't accept therapy very well or we drop out of it but if thats the sort of things they say to people its hardly surprising that we drop out and don't go to appointments if thats how we're treated.

Take care! Hope you get the help you need!

Melanie x x

[icu_baby]

In my experience the professionals will usually automatically believe each other rather than the patient, so it's very hard to know what is the best course. I remember a number of occasions when one or more professionals would behave outrageously towards vulnerable patients, and get away scot-free.

I once told a social worker about some of the appalling unprofessional (or should I say criminal) events I'd either witnessed or heard about, and her only reaction was that "These are people I have worked with!" In short, she didn't want to hear it.

Hi Siwdgewood

What appalling unprofessional events events have you witnessed, was this in a mental hospital? I am interested to know just how far people can get away with treating vunerable people

I myself was threatened to be put in seclusion "stark naked' which is against the law. Its a shame that a culture exists that nurses will back each other up when it is clear that their has been a breach of eithical practices. But this does not only happen in mental health care but in general medicine as well.

icu_baby

[sundries]

THe whole covering each others backs really infuriates me so i looked into it: apparently they have to stand up for each other because that is their ethical code of practice and they could get in a lot of trouble for anything which could be seen as bad mouthing a colleague to a patient.

however, this makes me furious - in mental helath above all other areas it is so important not to disort the patients reality and yet they actually make rules that staff cant acknowledge patients have been treated like shit just incase it hurts the fe3elings of hte people who have done it