*Mickeys Achievments*

[Shellybelly]

achievement 1

i stayed alive and fought against thought of killing myself for 3 days and have come quite close on several occaions over the past 3 day to doing it

but each time i have struggled and just about managed to stop myself so im still here now and thanks to everyone on here who has helped me so much

id be lost without ye thank you

achievment 2

i was totally out of order and was in an extremly emotional meltdown earlier tonight as i was alone in the house and the thought in my head were driving me crazy and i went into chat here and said things i shouldnt have done and i was reading how much everyone was upset by me so i went and made a full apology to everyone instead of just running away and staying outta there for a few days like i would have done a month ago in the same situation so i stood up for my wrongdoings and said sorry and really ment it once again here ill say it IM VERY SORRY EVERYONE I HURT OR UPSET it wasnt intentional and ill try hard in future to refrain from using certain statements i made again which i know would cause worry and upset to others and im very sorry for those

although i still think that chat is a support area too where people should talk about problems as well as mess and joke as we are all here for support and chat is sometimes the best place to get that on certain issues i feel and is more personal and caring place to help people.. as was stated by a staff member one evening this is a support room and we are all here to support each other and i feel that to be very true so all areas on here are for support i think..

achievment 3

i went to the doctor yesterday as i was in a terrible state and got help like i needed and let my mum look after me for a bit as i wasnt doing it so it was time for intervention and i learned that i need to stop pushing people away in my life and stop trying avoid phonecalls from people because im afraid ill upset them and hurt them.. if i want to get better and get help i need to say how im feeling and ask for it not have people guessing and not knowing the full story

achievment 4

i went to my pdoc appointment on thurs and i told her calmly and clearly how i was feeling and i finally think she listened to me and im proud how well i made myseld say it clearly even when i was so upset im only sorry i had to look so terrible for her to have to listen to me.. and i gave her some of my poems and was able to see a interesting thing she pointed out to me about myself from them that was so true. so i feel i have opened up a small bit more to her and let down some of my protective barrier. i even wrote on front of her which sounds so stupid but its a massive thing for me to write for people.. she told me im revealin myself to others doing this and that a very positive step.. i got you guys my friends on here to thank for helping me do that im learning in here as well as having fun its not an addiction to me this place it a place where im learning boundary and about myself and my past..

achievement 5

i have started to drive my car all alone again for no good reason to use it cause since the crash i have rarely used it i avoide it at all cost

so me driving again for pleasre is a achievment and i did the biggest thing i drove on roundabout where the crash was all by myself twice

im very proud of myself for building up my courage driving again ye were rite here slowly and small spins and build up gradually and i be back driving properly soon so i working really hard on that one..

achievement 6

i went out last nite even though i didnt want to and i dressed up and was told i look fabulous my friend took pictures which i should have during the week so ill see then i ate some of the dinner we went for which was a task for me but i did well and although i went and got drunk i see today how stupid that was and know next time i need to put boundaries up for myself so as i wont let this happen again and see that i shouldnt have ran away from the girls either as that was dangerous considering how much i drank.. so next time i go out im bringing less money so i cant sfford as much drink if i do drink and going to tell who im with that under no circumstances am i to leave without them unless im in a taxi.. as walking dark streets at night is sooooooooo dangerous.. but i did well to go out and get home in one piece and survive it and learn from my mistake..

achievment 7

this is a major one o me i have accepted an event in the past that happened wasnt all my fault and i didnt ask for it or deserve it to happen

and my friend who said otherwise was wrong.. i wasnt to blame for the event ill admit certain parts were my fault but not the main part.. now i have opened up to a few people about this and started to try talk about it the first time since it happened maybe now i can get on with processing and dealing with it

Achievment 8

i slept for 3 hours this morning while on here i kne i needed a rest so i felt safe knowing people were awake on here and mum was getting up and about the house so i would be safe and nothing bad could happen me so i slept YAYYYYYY for me longest sleep in weeks...

Achievment 9

i have read more of my book to help me with cbt technique and have started doing some of the exercises in the book and am trying to learn how to change my thought i think im getting to see more positives in situations and understand more about myself by doing this.. and im taking the book seriously and really focusing myself when doing the exercisies

Achievment 10

i was nice to mum and help her by running her a bath cause her feet and legs were terrible sore and i made a relaxing bath with loads of suds and put on her favorite cd and insisted she relax for a hour ill get the phone or anything if it rings and she was really happy with this.. and made her smile cause i was so thoughful about her and her pain..

thats all for now

i know most of these arent achievments in some people eyes but to me they are and are very important steps in my recovery i hope

and have all made me see something good or important..

thanks for reading them oh and my positive post on here is a achievement i wrote that when i was in despair and managed to make lou speechless now theres a achievment :P

[Todash]

Thats great Mickey. I especially like how you gave to your mom. Im proud of you.

[Marchmadness]

Mickey -

You go girl! You are such a positive influence for people. Hope you can

see that within yourself. Talk soon

March

[Shellybelly]

more achievements from me not bothering starting new post as it wasting space

achievment 1

i didnt sleep last nite but after 7am i lied down to try sleep and i managed too eventually i plugged out my clock so i couldnt see the time and be concentrating on how long im lying there and i eventually fell asleep and slept till 2pm which i figure is 6 hours sleep that is like a major mairacle for me in the past month i never slept more then 3-4 hours so to sleep that lenght was like huge I SLEPT i slill had nightmare and woke up crying and the bed in a mess and me around the oposite side of it but hey sleep is sleep even if it scared the life of me it s an achievment for me

achievment 2

my mood is a bit better i dont feel like killing myself as much today i just want to sh alot but so far have managed to resist these urges and am doing ok and i havent cried as much either today

achievment 3

i got up washed dressed and did my hair nice

achievment 4

i bought mum to the next town to get a new chair or something even though she had given out at me for sleeping all day and for taking so long to drink a cup of coffee when she know my issues with sleep and food i still was nice to her and bought her up town and to the next town

achievement 5

i managed to eat a yougurt and 1 potatoe today so far as well as drink 3 litres of water and 2 cups of coffee and i think ill even try eat a slice of toast in a bit so im making a big effort to eat today and i dont feel as weak either since i have had some food.. oh and i bought yup drink in town it a yougurt drink and smooties drinks too as i find drinking easier then eating so i going to try drink them as they be better for me then just water

achievement 6

i bought myself a game for my another charmed dvd as i love that series it cheers me up so i was nice to myself and treated myself and i bought credit for my phone and txt my friends and said hello and i went and sorted out my car insurance

achievment 7

i tidyied my room as it was like a bomb had it

[19ellie]

wow go you hunny!

[Rael]

wow i really hope you can see all of this the way we all do and realise just how much you are managing to achieve. really well done

all the best

donna

xxx