Yesterday's Hoo Haa Trying To Get My Meds

[kib0ne]

I called my GP's surgery and explained I'd run out of meds and they put me through to the nurse who said I have to see a Dr to get that medication (Valium/diazepam), so they made me an appointment; With Dr S: THE A*SEHOLE. I was like I don't wanna see him , and she said it's the only appointment we've got, if you need your meds you're gonna have to see him.

So I had a list,

- Can I have some diazepam please, 14 tabs should be fine, 28 would be better so I don't have to keep coming back.

- I still have diarrhea?

- Can you comment on my test results or should I make another appointment?

- I find it hard coming here.

-

So he said 'you're bloods were ok, your urine sample was completely clear apart from it indicated you hadn't eaten for a few hours' (when it was more like 2 days)... then he said they were STILL waiting for the stool results and diarrhea can be caused by lots of things i.e. side effects from meds.

Then he said we'd had a conversation about the diazepam situation before (which we did it was re: what Dr J (consultant psychiatrist) had said at the the end of of my CPA "NOT TO BE REPEATED"... but then when I went to my last appointment I went to see Dr J he said that he'd sent a letter to my GP saying they can prescribe it as I need it due to a change of circumstances... so I enquired about this and Dr S hadn't had a letter of the sort. He asked me how the diazepam helps me, and I explained that it helps me with in a multitude of ways including with my eating distress but obviously that's not good enough a reason to prescribe.

He didn't have a letter from my last appointment with Dr J re: increase in dose of my SSRI but he felt free to prescribe me those, and then he referred to the wealth of material about diazepam and how it doesn't help people with impulse control problems, and I'm like 'wuh wait, I don't have impulse controls problems'... pre-judged or what?

I tried to explain again about the change of circumstances, which in summary is just that duty and crisis can't be bothered to talk it through with me as I was advised to do by Dr J and tell me to medicate myself instead, and I that I've given Dr J plenty of opportunity to change me over to a longer term medication for anxiety, and all this Dr S could say was that if I'm not happy with the response I'm getting from duty and crisis I can make a complaint but it's not his problem, his responsibility is for me whilst I'm in that health centre... seriously WTF?

THEN he said 'can I ask you a question?' so I said 'yeah', and he asked me if I take drugs because a lot of the conversations at the surgery between I and the doctors had been about diazepam and stronger painkillers. W..T..F...? I had/have gastroenteritis and IBS, I'm sorry but over the counter painkillers don't cut it and they only gave me a three day supply. I said I used to but I'm not currently using... and he went onto explain to me why people use drugs, like thanks for that cos I didn't know already. However my answer wasn't enough, and he asked me to do a p*ss test to prove it. So I said I don't know why my word isn't enough... and he just said you have every right to refuse it, so I said well it's going to come back negative... and I don't need a wee at the moment and then mentioned the problems I've been having opening my bladder... but he didn't give a sh*t about that and he said 'it doesn't sound like you want to do the test'... well it's rather pointless... but yeah I've still not been for a p*ss since I saw him. I offered to take it away but yeah duh I might get someone 'drug free' to give the sample instead. My friend thinks the whole p*ss test thing is to with prejudice based on my appearance, and commented he's always been a c*ck to me.

I just said 'have a nice day, thanks for my prescription and your advice'... and then I marched up to CMHT... and was there for a f*cking HOUR waiting to talk to someone about my care. I had to deal with the receptionist stuffing her face with mini donuts whilst talking to me at the same time... I was so disgusted it nearly made me wretch.

I was going to reception and they were like W's dealing with an emergency, so I said 'well what about all these other people, what are they doing here?', and they said 'they have surgeries' blah blah blah, so I just said 'well she wants to hurry up or I'm gonna be an emergency in a minute too'. Oh and they said they were getting someone who was really poorly to hospital; so I'm like 'yeah and I'm really poorly too'.

So eventually W came out who's meant to have been contacting me at least once a week for 20mins, which she hasn't done for 2 wks... and she said 'oh we're gonna to have to sort that out' and I'm thinking 'no YOU'RE gonna have to sort that out'... and she asked 'Lisa what do you want?' so I said I want my meds, and explained what happened at the GPs surgery, and she said she couldn't answer for my GP... and there was no doctor there to give me a script.

Then she had the audacity to say that diazepam doesn't help me eat and keep food down, 'b*llocks' was the word she used, just because she doesn't understand. She asks 'Lisa why aren't you eating?' so I tried explaining but she didn't understand and just kept on about how if you don't eat you die, and tried to somehow coerce me into dropping my eating distress at a click of her fingers by telling me they wouldn't take me at the TC if I was too physically unwell to be there, which *is* B*LLOCKS.

So she offered to ring me this morning and talk to me or offer me the chance to go up there and talk to her; and quite honestly I just don't have the energy. She clearly has no grasp on the complexities of EDs whatsoever, and made no attempt to understand me and I have better things to put my energies into than educating her about them when there's a wealth of material to read on the matter *cough*.

Then she accused me of being manipulative, because I was open and honest with her about my intentions for when I left, which was to walk to the gym (2.7m), do my class which I had booked in the morning, and use some of the resistance machines, and walk home having already worked out for two hours in the morning. I'm thinking if those weren't my intentions what would I gain from saying those things; perhaps I'm naive? So I explained those genuinely were my plans, and she told me to go home and rest because I'd exerted myself enough already for someone on 200cals a day... so I got a taxi home and rested...

Then she called me again about an hour later, and it was just going in one ear and out the other, it was hard work talking to her, she was blurbing on about my guinea pigs etc... and asked me why I got a taxi and didn't walk, so I said I thought it'd be a good idea considering how flustered I was?!

I just went to bed and woke up at 3am.

I want to bleach all the food I bought the other day, and also get an appointment with a GP today talk about my bladder troubles and give a p*ss test because I'll surely be able to squeeze something out by then so I can be all 'in your face to your prejudices Dr S!' and prove him wrong. *face palm*

I'm totally ready to cut them all loose.