*Mickeys Achievments*

[Shellybelly]

achievement number 1

i managed to get out of bed at 5.30pm and go downstairs for a half hour

and stay safe and not go and take or use anything dangerous like i wanted to

and i managed to go into the bathroom where a razor was left sitting on the sink

and not use it.. so i have stayed safe even though all i wanna do is seriously hurt

myself and make my life end but im fighting really hard and im proud of me for doing

this even if its not a good thing as such its great that i managed it considering how bad

im feeling right now

thats the only one i have for now hope to do more soon..

[AleBD]

Its only one but its a grea achievement. You know now that even if you are going through a bad moment can say NO to your impulses and control them.

Thats a huge step.

I am sorry you are feeling this terrible, I am sending u my best vibes.

[Primal Scream]

Well done on your aheivement, its a big one because it must have been so difficult for you with feeling as bad as you do right now, so very well done.

primal x

[Marchmadness]

Hey Kiddo -

I know hear what a difficult time you are having now. Be proud of yourself

for fighting as hard as you are. You will have good days and bad days, that

is to be expected, so do not beat yourself up if you are having a hard day.

Hold on to the thoughts of the times that you felt better, and know you will

feel that again.

March

[Rael]

thats a really great achievement im so proud of you hun its a really big step and shows your perseverance.

all the best

donna

xxx

[Shellybelly]

achievement number 2

i am so down and suicidal right now and i know im not safe

and as i have no crisis team or anyone but sams to ring at nite

and they not really helping me enough as it normally a different

person so im off to my gp to tell him how im feeling and asking him

is it possible i get a crsis team or someone to call at night time when

im in bad ways or for that matter in the day too cause i cant keep using you guys here

as my main support network and plus i feel i need a doctor to help me

overcome this bad patch its be going on too long so my achievement is been

brave to admit to my doctor i need help and tell him how im feeling and

hopefully manage to pull myself outta this bad place im in right now so wish me

luck for your sakes as well as mine

thats all i can think of for now oh and i about to be late too ops

[dolphin859]

Hi mickey well done on your achievements, i'm proud of you! xx x

[Shellybelly]

Achievement number 3

i ate dinner which is a first in a few days

but i ate it even though i have a sever throat infection

and could have used that as an excuse to mum cause doctor has

even said i have and gave me antibiotics and steroids for it

so i could have got away with not eating but made a mature

decision to eat dinner and try and make a effort to fix my ed

considering im not doing to well with the other problem i figured

i try take control on this one and stop just putting it to the background

im thinking it might be the easiest ont to fix first as the other are really tough

and more emotional this one has more physical symtom that other can see too

and can help with too so it seem a good place to start for now anyways prob change

my mind again soon but my achievement is i ate dinner and it was ok'ish

ok no more for now im been really slow this time finding any

[Rael]

you're doing really well mickey keep them up they are really big ones you should be very proud.

all the best

donna

xxx

[Rachel_31_uk]

well done on your achievements Mickey.

hugs

xxx

[Shellybelly]

Achievement number 4

today i went to my cbt appointment and tried to explain

as best as i could how i was feeling and although she

still doesnt know the big secret i been hiding and saying

im not going telling anyone except on here of course well

today i managed to get her to figure out that something awful

had happened and it only happened once and it giving me

really bad nightmare so although i didnt get any further then

there it was massive improvement on first time i tried mention

it so slowly im managing to open a bit more.

Achievement number 5

today i found out i had biplar depression also and also

had major argument with my mother and have been really

stressed with starting my new job tomorrow so i was going to

kill myself as it always feels like its one bad thing after another

and i found out the plan my doctors have for me when i finish cbt

and its NOT something i am in anyways happy about or will i go

along with so i felt there no point sure ill never get better there too

much wrong with me and im never going to be able to manage work

was full of doom and gloom basically but now im gonna try work

tomorrow and be the bestest shop assistant there is and not let people

or labels on me put me down and im gonna find out who i really am!!

and try to see 1 good thing in myself each day ill let ye know what they are

hey i got 2 in a row

[Toni10]

Mickey, your achivments are wonderful... you are doing so well I am cheering for you. sending you big big hugs, hope work goes well beautiful. Toni xxoo

[Shellybelly]

Achievement number 6

ok, so i started back to work yesterday and have managed to

work two day in a row ableit panic tears stress and pain i feeling

i have went to work and managed to serve the customers and

count up my tills which is basic as i used to work in this shop before and used to be able

to fly at it doing loads more then i can right now but as i have been outta work for

6 months and am feeling so bad to even be working 1 hour would have been great for me but

to complete 2 8 hour shift and face the public head on in daylight and be outta safety

zone that lenght of time well feck it i do bloody marvelous so deserve to be really proud of me

for finally going back to work even though i never thought or felt i was ready i still dont

but hey im doing it im trying and thats all i can do right??

Achievement number 7

so, i am suppose to be seeing the cpn i really liked and could talk to tomorrow for a review

of all the changes made on my treatment that were implemented without consulting me

but when i txt him there he said no i wont be seeing him tomorrow he has arranged me to

see the cpn i hate who i asked not to be treated by.. and so far i have refrained from

completly freaking out about this and doing anything drastic that i wannaa do even

though i feel completly let down by him i have not answered his txt back as i know ill

only say stuff i shouldnt so im trying to be mature on this matter and not let my

emotions win and have a bpd moment.. mind you as long as i dont freak out at him

in a txt then ill be happy but i think it an achievment i have done a hour now without

doing anything bad considering how im feeling on this matter which right now i wont say

just im proud how im trying to deal with my emotions and actions under tough circumstances

Yayyyy i finally did 7 i found doing these 7 the hardest yet and really struggled to try see positive

from negitive so i guess thats an 8th one

[Rael]

wow even through the negative you managed to keep up the achievements thats really something to be proud of i know you've had a rough time hun. well done

all the best

donna

xxx

[Paris]

Yayyyyyyyy!!!

next achievement booking a flight somewhere???????

:lol:

[19ellie]

Well done Mickey - they are HUGE achievements!