Doctor Dysphoria Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 How hard do you find it to say NO ? I find it very hard - induces big guilt feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 I find it VERY HARD to say NO but i am actaulyl doing the DBT MODULE on Saying No - *Interpersonal Effectivness* at the moment...when i learn the secrets (only done 1 week of 12 so far) ill let you know! what i do know is we cAN and are ALOUD to say NO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loopylizzie Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 I hate saying no. I have learnt to do it and now can do so with confidence and finality, but boy do I hate myself inside. The feelings of being an awful person, so selfish and plain bad, just because I said no, almost certainly to an unreasonable proposition in the first place, just eat me up inside like battery acid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 Not being able to say no has got me in a lot of trouble a fair few times in the past. Even to the extreme that I gave somebody a lift home years back before I even had a licence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 nope, cant do it either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 well I could write a book on how hard it is...I am practicing and my therapist is encouraging me....its hard though..I'll write more another time as I'll have to go out soon.... ...one thing she said was that unless I can say no, I can't really say yes either... karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 i can't do it either. it is difficult and my therapist says he is going to teach me to have boundries but we haven't gotten there yet. we better get their soon cause i have all kinds of work i cant get done because i have commit to all this other stuff and now i am so committed i am almost paralyzed. bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 I can't say no either...always trying to please the other person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 I am available to be 'pleased' if you all feel you must! :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 Lorna... the answer to you is NO! well i gotta start somewhere (l0l) bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpmonki Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 the word no isnt in my vocabulary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 what is this word "no"? its all foreign to me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 I have a hard time saying no because I want it done right, and I seem to think only I can accomplish that. But it does, as Bets says, make things pile up to the point that I become paralyzed, and then either nothing gets done, or it all gets done, but not as well as I'd have liked. Still, for some reason, people fall all over themselves thanking me, which makes me hate them for being stupid. They do things so badly that what I do half-assed is better than their best. You judge for yourself whether I am deluded. I may be. Having said all that, once I have said no, it doesn't bother me a bit. I feel like f**k it, if they screw up, it's their problem, one less for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 I say it in my head over and over. What comes out of my mouth is yes, then I am angry until whatever I have agreed to is completed. I can only say no to my husband, but a minute or two later I will do whatever it was anyway because I feel guilty. Still I will be angry until it is completed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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