I Cant Stop Spending

[drew]

i have spent 3000 in the past 3 wks

i dont have the money its a loan and my over draft

i cant stop

its going to end in tears

[Faerielight]

hi drew.. do you know what has triggered this recent spending binge?? are you feeling empty inside?? of feeling something you are trying to block out ?

or are you a bit manic atm?? try to trace back what has triggered you.

what have you spent it on??

hugs, bluebell x

[Rael]

bluebellgirl asked some good questions. is there anyone you could put in charge of your money until you can get yourself sorted out?

all the best

donna

xxx

[yorkiegal73]

could you maybe give your bank card to a friend to look after? I really feel for you. Have been there, done that and the only reason i'm not still doing it is that i've ruined my credit rating so i can't get a loan. I currently have 50p to my name and will run out of electric before i can afford to recharge the meter. Yet, last week I spent all my benefit on food binges and dvds. Try to keep hold of your receipts, then perhaps you can take a few things back when you're feeling stronger. It might also be worth putting a note on your credit file asking companies not to give you loans, but of course there is a down side to that if you genuinly need one.

[scooby1001]

I know how you feel on this one. I have run up £5,000 this year in a manic phase and now i am struggling to pay it back. I tried writing to the credit reference agencies explaining my mental health problems and asked them to put a note on my file asking people not to lend me money. They refused to do it. I don't understand why so my current idea is to try and ruin my credit rating my de-faulting on some payments. It is a horrible position to be in.

[Miko]

I defaulted on two debts, there was a CCJ because I wasn't confident enough to tell the court I was hoping for a lump sum soon (they might have postponed the hearing till it became clear whether that would be so).

I switched my current account to a different bank.

I have been issued with a simple cash card, it is so much better than a debit or credit card.

Throughout I was guided by a superb money adviser similar to or better than one at a CAB, at a local organisation that has since become smaller.

What are your pills like? What can you do instead of enacting this in real space? In your mind imagine yourself the owner of twenty aircraft or something (I like planes), a bit of playful fantasy, if you are open with yourself about it being playful, can pass the time and then I go & make tea and say, how good I don't have the upkeep of them!

I remind myself of the sprees, where I was and how I felt at the time, more in a daze than I am now, and how futile most of the goods were (I have kept a couple of CDs and a few socks and a tie). How my few penn'orth of cheese, bread and veg from today are satisfying purchases (I love the colour & taste of them). Also the period I put petrol for my car on my CC, whereas walking to the bus stop is so refreshingly simple now.

For me most sprees were to do with weather & colour (was it manic S.A.D ?)

It's no use beating oneself up, only accept oneself lovingly. "We do not regret the past nor shut the door on it", yet we naturally admit any harm, with relief that we are in with increasing chances of not doing it today, one day at a time.

(I've only just started my new pill so might be in a honeymoon phase )

[denise24]

I ended up going bankrupt, because every time I had money for bills I spent it on something to make me smile again :(

[twistedpingu]

hmm I also know how you feel, I've racked up 18k of debt over 5 years covering 3 loans and 2 credit cards. Most of it went on pointless material stuff I don't really need and a lot of alcohol. The only real purchase out of it was my car and that was only 3k... pretty much everything I earn goes on paying it off or the usual bills. I've tried to get a loan to cover everything but the credit rating isn't good enough and even if I did the interest would be through the roof! Even now I still continue to get the cc out to cheer myself up but it's nowhere near as extreme as it was.

Does anyone know if bankruptcy is the best way to get out of it? I know there is drawbacks, as it makes it impossible to buy a house or get any other loan etc but given the track record that might notbe such a bad thing....

[denise24]

Bankrupcy.... Like I said I went bankrupt about 2 years ago now. Bets thing I ever did. I tried to pay it off, and it was only going on interest. I went to citenzens advice first and he advised me to do it. Your ment to be under it for 1 year. But they released me after 4 months as I wasnt crap with money.

My uncle has been bankrupt and now owns his own house.... so it doesnt fuck you up for ever. I have since been offered credit which obviously this time I have refused.

Look into it first, but if your struggling id consider it.

[twistedpingu]

ok thanks for the info, I shall definately have to look into it! :)

[Aamanee]

Drew do you have a support worker or some one that can come with you to the bank

talk to the bank manager with and explain to them what happened

you will need to pay it back still but they will give you time to pay it back

do you have any one you trust to look after you bank cards to that you dont take more money out

but comes with you when you need to for bills etc

Aamanee

[Jelly-bean]

hi drew,

i know this one, i spend more then i have, big high then a crash of weeks, trying to get the money back!!!

the high is short lived........and i swear to myself i'm not going to make a mistake like that again then

i find myself coming home from the shops with nothing left but useless stuff that felt good till i left the shop and got in the door and opened my goodie bags damn i did it again!!!!

so yep your not alone.

jelly

[gun_747]

Hi drew,

I talk with experience on both sides of the fence here...I used to be a binge spender and ended up going through my savings over a period of time and ended up with so much debt that I have finally just paid it off. To go bankrupt is the last option but not one that should be chosen if you have alternatives.

If you have credit cards that are raking up interest, you should apply for interest free credit cards with a minimal balance transfer fee (moneysupermarket.com is a great website that can compare the best credit card rates for you).

Given you have accumulated this debt within a 3 week period, is there any possibility that you can take some of the items back to the shop where they were purchased thereby getting some money back and reducing your debt? I have done this too after a bad day of impulse buying.

Cutting up all my credit cards was the next step...I only get a credit card if I was initiating a balance transfer, after that I would rip them up and never use it for purchases.

As for the source of spending too much, I had to take responsibility, irrespective of my own mental illness and causes, for paying this back and the debt will not go away by just doing nothing. It will help you in the long run to try and come to a better arrangement with your creditors if you are finding it difficult to pay. Given the credit crunch that we all are experiencing, most lenders (banks/credit cards etc.) are more likely to come to an alternative payment plan as its in their best interests to get some of the money back, so if you are finding it difficult paying money back, then you should do this.

I eventually went to swimming as a means to "treat" myself and it is so much cheaper....I have positive health effects from it and always tell my brain when I'm going to the swimmers that I am treating me to a destressing time at the pool...I pay £10 per month for it and its far better than £800 shopping sprees I used to do.

Hope this helps...

Stevie

[Effervescence]

Boy can I relate to this!

I spend money compulsively. I tend to totally lose track of just how much I'm spending and then....well, it ain't pretty.

My dad died (at age 86, of "end-stage dementia") just over 2 months ago. He'd been ill for about 5 years and my mom (now 81) and I were his caretakers. I'd overspent before, but I think the stress of his illness really triggered my wild spending. (Altho I know it's my fault, not anyone else's.)

Then my beloved kitty Amber died in May, which send me into a double tailspin.

My mom is trying to settle all the accounts (stuff you have to deal with after a death in the family ), and the other day we had to meet with a financial adviser. My poor mom has tried her best to conserve money to leave to me (her only heir)--I'm on disability and have very, very little money of my own. So she's done her best (as my dad always did) to save money to help me out when both my parents are gone (I have no siblings, husband, etc.)

Anyway, my mom told me after the meeting that if it hadn't been for my frantic spending over the past few years, she'd be able to leave me about $75,000 more, but I've spent at least that much--and there's no way of getting it back.

And my poor parents worked SO HARD for that money. They spent so many years saving up--mostly for my sake.

I cannot believe I spent all that money--mostly on stuff I do NOT need. And it's not even officially my money--I was using my parents' credit card.

And not having a job (and little chance of getting a decent one), I can't pay my mom back.

I cannot tell you how miserably guilty I feel. :(

[sundries]

Drew

I know how this feels I have spent £800 this week.

Have bought a lot of books (about £300), electric heaters, blenders (which ii will never use), every version of eyore toy in clintons, loads of i love you cards ive sent to all my friends, a huge bookshelf, about 6 weeks worth of food that ive binge purged and then binged again as soon as finished purging, loads of tacky religious jewllery from ebay (apparently i needed a bracelet with the ten commandments on!), all the most expnsive suede bound folders in whsmiths, a load of children in need bags, coffe and cakes at neros, no7 stuff from boots i could go on, sadly it is all on my credit card.

[yorkiegal73]

this is an old thread of drews i think. hopefully she's sorted it by now.

i haven't paid anything off my credit card accounts all year. don't have the cards anymore. just letters piling up in the hall and phone calls i don't answer. its probably gone to court now so i'm not buying anything new for the house just to have the bailiffs take it away.

all my money goes on food shopping for my daily binges or clothes. i buy new clothes rather than wash the old ones. pathetic really.

[Miko]

Get a money adviser (can be attached to CAB, Housing Aid centres, etc)

There are many stages before bailiffs.

Pick up one envelope a day and open it. Keep the contents in a special place so you can achieve continuity over a period. You will avoid overloading yourself and you will become curious and at the same time realise it is not destroying you.

((small hand squeeze))