Curing Bpd Is Easy...apparently

[brokenmind]

all we have to do is control our emotions and take responsibility for ourselves. simple as. i dont think so somehow. easier said than done. if i want to die then its my decision and no one will stop me. i have to take responisbilty for my actions. apparently in the past (when bpd was not understood) a suicidal person would be locked up on the psyc ward but they dont do this anymore with borderlines cos it takes responsibility away from ourselves. my cpns words, i think i actually agree, but its hard, she made it sound so simple though.

[foreverborderline]

If only it were that easy huh ? I disagree actually. I feel often that my BPD ways control me and my thinking. I often do not want to think or act in a certain way but there I am ..

[beamfrostold]

gosh sounds so easy, i think im cured already lol

yeah much easier said than done. There are times i do destructive things without even realising it.

[brokenmind]

foreverborderline- i agree in the sense that controlling emotions and taking responisblity will help but yeah i know its difficult or sometimes impossible. it does control us theres no doubt about it. im confused now. i dont know what to think.

[foreverborderline]

It is OK that you are confused, I am confused every day and usually most of the day. You are not alone in your confusion.

There are ways we can be better and minimize the damage that our illness does but overall it is a time bomb type of illness.

[Marchmadness]

Hey -

It is? Damn where have I been? Taking responsibility perhaps, or maybe

trying to rewire my way of thinking. Takes a lot of hard work to change our

thought patterns, and to replace negative behaviours with positive ones.

Hmmmm I have therapy tomorrow I will tell my therapist about this one.

Marchmadness

[AndyL]

We in fact do need to take responsibility for ourselves and try to control our actions. The problem is that it's not so simple.

Forming a borderline personality requires at least two ingredients:

1. An emotionally vulnerable person
2. Growing up in an invalidating environment

This, as you might guess, takes a long time to develop. And something that took such a long time to develop takes a long time to fix.

So just wishing BPD away by saying we simply have to take responsibility for ourselves is pipe dream. Sounds good--and in fact it's the right thing to do--but it's not so easy as it sounds.

[brokenmind]

i came across that invalidating theory today while looking at theories of the causes of bpd today with my cpn. i must say its the only enviromental/psychological one that fits. before today all i knew about the cause were the biological predisposition theories n childhood trauma. im still not entirely sure why i have it, i didnt have a particulary traumatic childhood. i know there are theories on adandonment and my father fucked of when i was a toddler but that really doesnt bother me. well i suppose theres no point in debating why i have it, i have it & im just gonna have to deal with it.

also a question i hope someone can answer: does bpd ever go away or is it something we live with forever? i remember my cpn saying that in time, after therapy and you have learnt to deal with things that you may not meet some of the criteria anymore, but does this mean its gone, or is it merely that we have learned to regulate and manage our emotions etc in more productive ways? i dont know if i have explained that very well :S

[Shellybelly]

take control..

is all it takes well someone take my feelings away and then i have control

otherwise THEY have control not me..

i think someone should give one of these doctors bpd for a bad week

and see how well they do in controlling themselves :lol:

[wednesday]

I think that having some control over your actions is only the first step in any recovery. It by no means means you are cured and can only come about when the levels of stress go down a little. Time between extreme actions also helps- what I mean is, if you have not self harmed in the last six months, you are less likely to do so now, even if you are distressed.

I think though that the extreme actions in themselves keep the levels of distress high, so you need to try to break the cycle of carrying things out as much as you can.

[Venna]

I don't think BPD can be cured. I think you can learn more about what you're feeling en what things are making you bounce. I learned that how small things sometimes are, there is allways a reason why my moods swing. With therapy i learned to see things earlier. Not allways offcourse. I know some signs and i can respond to them sooner.

I often describe it to people without BPD that when something happens my emotios come over me like a tsunami. It runs over me and i can't think clearly anymore. When the water goes away i can think again. I can make the water go away a bit earlier now.

I think the tsunami's keep coming but the water will go away sooner! That could make life a bit easier to live!

lol Venna

[Suicidal Smily]

I think you are able to manage your BPD enough so you don't have the diagnosis but it is always something you will have to live with. It might become like second nature to deal with everything but it will never be as easy as it is for people who don't have BPD. In my opinion which is someone who is just diagnosed and has only talked to her therapist about it.

[Diane-M]

I have been told I have PTSD but i get such mood swings - very happy (almost high) or I crash and harm and want to OD badly. I wanted admitted to hospital last June but they refused saying it would distress me more!!!!!!! I am so self destructive it scares me tho and it never used to

[brokenmind]

woah thats quite a scary thought of having it for the rest of my life. its kind of like a death sentence. i cant remember the exact statistic but "we" as borderlines are much more likely to take our lives.

[icu_baby]

all we have to do is control our emotions and take responsibility for ourselves. simple as. i dont think so somehow. easier said than done. if i want to die then its my decision and no one will stop me. i have to take responisbilty for my actions. apparently in the past (when bpd was not understood) a suicidal person would be locked up on the psyc ward but they dont do this anymore with borderlines cos it takes responsibility away from ourselves. my cpns words, i think i actually agree, but its hard, she made it sound so simple though.

Hi brokenmind and everyone,

This is the second time I have had to write this as the first time some glitch wiped off and the second time you write something it never sounds as good as the first time when you had it!

I have to say that I agree with the nurse to the extent that she is following what the law says and this is what her explanation to you would probably be as to why people with BPD should not be locked up (and in my opinion this is a good thing):

A person with a personality disorder is not regarded as being mentally ill within the discipline of psychiatry. The word ‘personality’ refers to an individual’s characteristic way of functioning psychologically. Some persons have traits of character that are abnormal or socially undesirable. At an extreme level such persons are described as having a personality disorder. The position of such persons is, however, quite different from that of a person suffering from a disturbance of mental functioning, which is what a mental illness is. The fact that a person’s behaviour is deviant, maladapted or non-conformist does not necessarily mean that it is the product of any disturbance in mental functioning. It may simply mean that that is the sort of person the particular individual is.

So the mental health profession would see a person with suicidal urges as their way of coping or their pattern of behaviour albeit maladaptive. Thus people with personality disorders have to learn to change their behaviour so to speak

A mental illness such as schizophrenia, on the other hand, is associated with the emergence of characteristic symptoms (such as delusions, hallucinations, pathological mood states), develops in someone who was previously free of such symptoms, and represents a disruption or discontinuity of their usual personality and their normal modes of psychological functioning.

So just say someone with no mental illness or personality disorder develops depression and is previously free of chronic suicidal urges or self harm. Due to their disturbance in mood and cognition they don't think clearly and think the only way they can end the hopelessness and pain is to to suicide. Once the person is treated for depression and is no longer mentally ill, self harm or suicidal ideation disappear.

"If [a depressed person] did not show these debilitating patterns of affect

and motivation before becoming depressed and will be

released from them if she/he responds to treatment then

these are not, in one important sense, intrinsic to his/her lived

identity in the way that links character and morality and

cannot be treated as responsible decisions he/she is making

about himself/herself and his/her own wellbeing".

Contrast this to someone with BPD where their suicidal urges is a pattern of behaviour being locked in a psych ward will not actually help because their suicidal problem is chronic and the depressed persons suicidal urges is usually a once in a life -time crisis.

I believe if someone who has bpd wants to admit themelves in a psyward because they feel unsafe they should have all the right to and should not be discriminated against. However, I myself have a very strong sense of civil liberties and I believe that everyone has the right to self-determination so I am against civil commitment in any form. I was locked up in a psychiatric ward for 3 days and I can tell you its so humiliating to have your self sufficiency taken away from you and the demoralising process you go through of being just a mental health patient or "borderline", your identity is stripped away from you as soon as you walk through the door, its a very depersonalising experience that I wish no one would ever have to go through unless you were really psychotic and did not know what was going on.

However, one thing that I find a bit absurd is that borderlines should take responsibility for their actions, however, once you suicide, a dead person cannot be held responsible and this is the absudity that the psychiatric profession, in my opinion, cannot come to reason with.

[yorkiegal73]

Sometimes I think that the professionals wish we'd just be successful in our suicide attempts, and then they wouldn't have to go through the sham of putting us on a ward for three days.

[icu_baby]

woah thats quite a scary thought of having it for the rest of my life. its kind of like a death sentence. i cant remember the exact statistic but "we" as borderlines are much more likely to take our lives.

The statistic is something like 10%. I am also scared that I will have chronic suicidal feelings/thoughts (which started about 6 months ago) that has never really abated but rather ebbs and flows but may not ever end. Its really a very stressful existence to live like this but I think it is possible to overcome it. I know alot of my suicidal feelings come from anxiety related stuff. Too me, chronic suicidality is the most debilitating of all my borderline symptoms put in one but i think it is possible to overcome it if you can make a promise to yourself that you will never ever do it.

[foreverborderline]

I read a woman post one time that she is cured, calling herself a former borderline. I have researched this very much over the 10+ years that I have had BPD and there is no cure, it can get better with treatment but it is like addiction..once you have it you got it for life and you just have to cope.. Sucks I know but it is true.

[foreverborderline]

Sometimes I think that the professionals wish we'd just be successful in our suicide attempts, and then they wouldn't have to go through the sham of putting us on a ward for three days.

In California they gave me some nickname and turned me away several times , even with cuts on arms and in a frantic state. They told me they could no longer help me. I guess after my 25th 5150 they had enough.

[icu_baby]

Sometimes I think that the professionals wish we'd just be successful in our suicide attempts, and then they wouldn't have to go through the sham of putting us on a ward for three days.

y do u think that yorkiegal?

[icu_baby]

Sometimes I think that the professionals wish we'd just be successful in our suicide attempts, and then they wouldn't have to go through the sham of putting us on a ward for three days.

In California they gave me some nickname and turned me away several times , even with cuts on arms and in a frantic state. They told me they could no longer help me. I guess after my 25th 5150 they had enough.

But I'm not sure exactly what you wanted them to do after the 25th time, the same thing will happen, you will get admitted for another 3 days sitting there wasting time and then will repeat the same thing. In a way there hands are tied. The best thing is doing something like DBT.

cheers

icu_baby

[crimsonblade85]

well i think the same too sometimes... that the mental health professionals would be relieved if a bpd succeded a suicide. maybe they would even think 'oh pity...anyway, case closed!'

[feistymiss]

Sometimes I think that the professionals wish we'd just be successful in our suicide attempts, and then they wouldn't have to go through the sham of putting us on a ward for three days.

In California they gave me some nickname and turned me away several times , even with cuts on arms and in a frantic state. They told me they could no longer help me. I guess after my 25th 5150 they had enough.

But I'm not sure exactly what you wanted them to do after the 25th time, the same thing will happen, you will get admitted for another 3 days sitting there wasting time and then will repeat the same thing. In a way there hands are tied. The best thing is doing something like DBT.

cheers

icu_baby

i know you mean well icu baby, so dont take this personally, but reading this comment made me very angry

i will try and write it and understand it, ok, if someone presented at the hospital having broken their leg that many times, there would be a flag wouldnt there, to say someone needs help in learning to walk, or needs a stronger stick to lean on, or stronger glasses .... SOMETHING, but in the case of SH, as its self inflected, then in this case, no help is forthcoming ??!!

i know having read somewhere and know it from experience, if someone is needy and you fill that need, they then become dependent on you, scuses if i offend with that, its me trying to understand, not pointing fingers

yet at the same time, this is also us crying out for help, attention, support, whatever, and again, cos its mental, we are told, go home, learn other methods in order to cope

i know humanity is losing its ability to care, thats not the same as not responding, or not patching up someone, or providing emergency care, but isnt this the same ?

i guess not, its self inflicted, if we kicked out as children, to say, get away, i dont like what you are doing to me, then we were punished, and then when we say .. i cant cope any more, i hurt, i cant deal with it, we are told, go home, learn new tricks, jump that bit higher, there is no support

sorry, i know my rationale side isnt working today, but i also know as humankind, we arent responding any more, we cant, or we would suck them all under with us

but why didnt they (!?!) stop the perpetrators in the first place, thats where it will stop, when abuse is recognised and dealt with ... when things cant go on behind closed doors, and ranks closed against harm to humanity

as a human race, im sure there are more of us head fucked now, than there are of us supposedly healthy, its outbalanced

[brokenmind]

what i think is that well these so called MH professionals dont know what its like. they say people with bpd are manipulative when it comes to suicide n self harm, but if its merely manipulative and attention seeking then why are we more likely to actually end up as a suicide statistic. they havent a clue what its like when everyday you tell yourself to kill yourself. when one minute you can be happy & the next you want to be dead. maybe we do need to take responsibility but surely sometimes when we are in one of our more dark phases they could help us.

we dont choose to be like this so, when we self harm its as little our fault as a broken leg etc. well maybe someone whose broke a leg doing something silly. if erm a stunt driver for example turned up at a&e for the 10th or so time with a broken bone, they wouldnt turn them away, and refuse to help. would they refuse to help and say its your fault, you need to be more responsible for yourself? nope, absolutely not. what about someone with other MH problems other than bpd who is suicidal, they wouldnt get told to take responsibilty. maybe they are doing what they think is right, but isnt it a gamble, a dangerous gamble because its somebodys life! im at cracking point myself at the moment, honest and truthfully, not a manipulation or attention seeking, & ive told my cpn & all i get is we cant really help you, you have to take responsibility for yourself. so what happens if i end up dead next week, they could have prevented it by helping me get better and past this stage of dispair, but instead by making me learn to take responsibilty i am dead. what use is it then, a deadly lesson.

[feistymiss]

i hear you broken....is there any way we can help you ??