Do You Feel ?

[milkyna]

Does anyone here feels anything deep inside at all?

[Marchmadness]

Hey -

Do I feel? Absolutely! Problem is there are so many feelings,

how do I slow down and recongnize those feelings. What are

your experience with this?

Marchmadness

[brokenmind]

do i feel anything deep inside?? im not sure milkyna. i often feel numb & empty but then i have intense hatred inside. this is something i have not figured out myself yet. everything constantly changes & it leaves me confused!

[Tray]

i feel...

i feel empty

i feel full

i feel sad

i feel angry

i feel hurt

i am sick off feeling... even when there is emptyness inside, i feel it too damn much

[milkyna]

I dont. The only thing I feel is that my head is going to tear apart. Tired. Messed up. But no pain, no sorrow, no passion, no affection, no deep empathy, no connection, no love. Nothing in that place where we hold our breath. I can easily call myself zombie. Like sociopath, but doesn't want even to kill. But could, cause doesn't feel anything for anyone. Doesn't understand that they do have feelings. That they are not objects. That they live for a reason which comes from inside.

I have never questioned myself, as i was a child, why do i have to be nice for people, why should i not say bad things to them, why should i not hurt them. It was a system. And only now i understand tat that system hasn't come just from anywhere, just in order for world to look more beautiful. It is human thing, emotion. respect and connection. Sorrow and joy.

O my god, i am so sick.

Numb. Numb. Numb.

[Tray]

hey hun, u are NOT sick, or weird, or anythin... it is the way u have to be to cope with this shit world we are in...

we build up walls, to protect ourselves, and throught this we cannot feel, cannot deal, dont WANT to feel and accept...

i really cant offer much advice other than to say u are not alone, i understand... xxx

[milkyna]

do i feel anything deep inside?? im not sure milkyna. i often feel numb & empty but then i have intense hatred inside. this is something i have not figured out myself yet. everything constantly changes & it leaves me confused!

Yes, those changes i know too damn well. Like you are born and born and born again and again. Few times a day every day. C'mon. Who will ever find a cure for this non existance??? Cause i think deeply inside no one of us wants to live. We want to attach.

[milkyna]

hey hun, u are NOT sick, or weird, or anythin... it is the way u have to be to cope with this shit world we are in...

we build up walls, to protect ourselves, and throught this we cannot feel, cannot deal, dont WANT to feel and accept...

i really cant offer much advice other than to say u are not alone, i understand... xxx

well, thank you so much, Tray. but i am sick and i am weird

all of us i think are. But that doesnt make as less than human. fact.

but you know, the main thing really is that we/i don't WANT to feel, that just doesn't seem worth it. Doesn't seem that i will get something from simply enjoying myself. Someone has to enjoy me, than it's ok, than i am.

Is there really nothing at all that can be done (I mean not living like a robot in logical world, have a job, some social life, just because you conciously understand that this is what is going to make you bit more sucsesful), but to really find enjoyment in enjoying ourselves? To open, to feel free and connected? It doesn't seem that anyone who has borderline have ever managed to become just a normal human being. Am i going do die alone, issolated on my own will, at my litlle nasty room?

[milkyna]

i feel...

i feel empty

i feel full

i feel sad

i feel angry

i feel hurt

i am sick off feeling... even when there is emptyness inside, i feel it too damn much

But i think all those feelings comes from not fitting in, those confusing things, which i can barely call feelings in my own case. And when i listen to myself for a moment at those 'painful, sad' moments, i just dont feel a thing, really.

[tiellover]

My problem is I feel too much. At times I feel this weird sensation in my chest that just kills me emotionaly. I guess I don't really know how to explain it.... just deep sadness I guess.

But yeah, I wish I was more numb.

[milkyna]

My problem is I feel too much. At times I feel this weird sensation in my chest that just kills me emotionaly. I guess I don't really know how to explain it.... just deep sadness I guess.

But yeah, I wish I was more numb.

I think i can relate to it. it is anxiety. isn't it? pressed down chest, can hardly breath?

well, if you can actually feel sadness, i am jealous about you. and happy about you.

[pgiggle]

It doesn't seem that anyone who has borderline have ever managed to become just a normal human being.

you know what? sod being normal

the way so called normal people deal with the world is no diferent. but "normal" people arent creative, dont have any idea about the world around them because they dont question it.

the worst thing to be in my opinion is normal. what has a normal person ever given the world, normal people are just the cogs, we the extra ordinary are the ones that make it all work. the extra ordinary are the ones with the imagination to invent, to create and to change the way things are done.

Normal is a crap label that people with MH issues hanker after, it doesnt realy exist in my opinion.

so bugger normal just be you in all facetts of life be you :)

[Tray]

yea pgiggle, you are rite... we have a purpose in life... it just does get so hard sometimes, i also feel that, the intense pushin down feeling on my chest, the way i feel that there is summat inside that just needs to burst out of me, so intense, and it hurts, god it hurts, and then you go the other way... so much emptyness, like a big cavern of space inside...

i have weird moments, where i KNOW i should feel one thing, and i either feel totally the opposite, or nothin... there nothin there, i have no reaction at all, i dont understand how people around me can feel for somethin when i have no feelings about it...

[Alexis]

do other peoples posts really scare you?

its like, "Finally! Someone who feels like I do"

its so strange...

i can relate too so much for whate everyone posts.. which sucks, cause other people go through headshit, but.. its really damn good at the same time..

ramble ramble, post jack, sorry

[icu_baby]

My problem is I feel too much. At times I feel this weird sensation in my chest that just kills me emotionaly. I guess I don't really know how to explain it.... just deep sadness I guess.

But yeah, I wish I was more numb.

Is it existential crisis that you are feeling tellover?

[icu_baby]

What do people mean by they feel empty because it is such a subjective term? Do you mean you don't feel a range of emotions such as anger, love, hate, passion, anxiety, excitment, contentment. Is it a kind of boredom with the world, like nothing interests you?

[milkyna]

What do people mean by they feel empty because it is such a subjective term? Do you mean you don't feel a range of emotions such as anger, love, hate, passion, anxiety, excitment, contentment. Is it a kind of boredom with the world, like nothing interests you?

Well, in my case, I don't feel empty allways. I am allways anxious, it is an emotion maybe, but very conscious emotion, which makes me forget that i am. The pressure on my chest makes illusion, that i feel, but actually i don't feel a thing.

Once I felt emptiness, that was soo scary. You feel that you are only body and inside of you is only space, vaacum. It was cold and shocking experience.

The world looks like unreasonable place, i mean my world. That world that others live in seems to bee quite exciting and joyfull, so thats why I am trying so hard everyday to get into it, but it doesn't work. And this is the only thing that interests me.

[Tray]

its this weird, uncomfertable, darkness inside for me... like i havnt eaten for days, my tummy is a big cavern, there isnt anythin running through my body, in my body, like someone has been in the night and removed my organs, viens, blood, im empty... except, sometimes i feel like the only thing in there is my heart thsat seems to get bigger and hurts more, with all the pain inside...

[milkyna]

and...to icu_baby

you don't feel a range of emotions such as anger, love, hate, passion, anxiety, excitment, contentment? ----> i can feel almost all this range of things, esp anxiety, contentment, excitement, anger, hate, passion... But no love. and all those emotions that i can feel is so shallow, comes from my my mind,not from heart.

[tiellover]

Is it existential crisis that you are feeling tellover?

I'm not sure icu baby...

It's almost the same feeling I have when I really am in love, but it hurts instead... I don't know how to really explain it other than that. It just really hurts. Like a deep longing for love maybe.

[pinksheep]

I think you are all very interesting people and I wonder how much we are 'ill' and how much we just think more than, and ask more questions than, the 'normal people'. (Sorry about the terminology, but you know what I mean!) I feel in pain a lot of the time, anxious and unsettled all the time, except when I am asleep. I feel that there is a 'real me' but that she is very little and fragile and kind of squashed up inside me.

[ChristianCaritas]

inside i feel a very intense sense of compassion and love for the world

and all its creatures. the fact that the world is the fucked up place that

it is discourages me and makes me withdraw into myself. it breaks my

heart that people cannot be nicer to each other. it breaks my heart that

parents raise children the way they do, to the point where they must develop

things like anxiety and personality disorders as a way of life. i have a

very deep desire, a dream, to be happy and to have others be happy too.

[aussiebabe]

What's the point of feeling, you only get hurt

[foreverborderline]

What's the point of feeling, you only get hurt

My sentiments exactly, Sleeping is when I am happiest, feel nothing.

[icu_baby]

and...to icu_baby

you don't feel a range of emotions such as anger, love, hate, passion, anxiety, excitment, contentment? ----> i can feel almost all this range of things, esp anxiety, contentment, excitement, anger, hate, passion... But no love. and all those emotions that i can feel is so shallow, comes from my my mind,not from heart.

ARe you sure you don't feel love milkyna? Is there not one person in your life that you would not give the world for or do anything for?

There has to be something that you love doing, whether it is travelling, swimming, nature, animals?