A Question

[seafree]

I'm just wondering what others opinions are on this.

I've been diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar type II. I agree with the diagnoses of BPD, i've spent a lot of time researching it and tracing back my behaviour and moods and it really does make sense. Bipolar i'm a bit more skeptical about.

But my question is; how much of our disorders are influenced by the environment around us?

The past few couple of months i've been flying as high as a kite, there have been a few blips but nothing major. But at the same time, i've been falling in love, my dad has been abroad leaving me with a house to myself- which means no abuse and no stress, i've not done or thought about uni work- left it all to the last minute, i've ignored all my bills and letters from the baliffs, had social events to look forward to and keep me going and been almost surgically attached to a close friend meaning i haven't been left on my own for too long.

Now however, things have gone in the opposite direction. Obviously i have a mountain of work, my dads coming back, my friend is no longer about due to working all hours god sends in a new job, i've got nothing to look forward to, and i'm spending a lot more time alone. Guess what- i'm crashing, feeling depressed, suicidal even which sounds drastic and realistically is drastic, but has turned into a valid option again.

So what now? I don't know. I'm stuck in a rut, drinking more, putting on weight = self esteem, confidence taking a nose dive. Stressed out and panicked.

Again, another case of black and white, all or nothing. Why can't i just be 'content'. Why does life have to be so fucking amazing, then so crap. Why is there no balance? Is it all in my head?

Any ideas?

[Lily-Bee]

I tend to think that labels do not matter that it is about getting the help you need and under what diagnoses doesnt matter as long as you get the right help.

I understand you think about it though.

You know up and down moods and black and white thinking are also a symptom of BPD so I am not sure why you have the added diagnoses of bi/polar.

Maybe the first thing you need to do right now to get out of this rut is take care of you!! That can really put you in a upwards spiral. So no drinking, healthy eating, sleeping on time but not too much, doing some excersize etc.

Lilly

[rain]

All about your 'schemas' - ways of viewing situations, like wow I'm having fun now with a great friend, then oh I've nothing to do, life is horrible,.... to put it simply. Bipolar disorder is more biological though. Keep at therapy, and keep yourself occupied with productive things, I'd say.

Good luck!

(I know what you mean about the extremes... sigh)...

[icu_baby]

Rain, I challenge the fact that bipolar is more biological, I think it is both a mix of biology and environment.

Jess1987 bipolar can easily be managed with the right medication, are you taking it?

I am totally with you with uni. I am also studying and right now I am so far behind, I have a million things to read and so many assignments, one due this week and one due on monday and I haven't even done the research while other people are just about finished writing it...I am usually done by now so it scares me that I am this far behind when I normally am not. I can't seem to focus my mind and be motivated like my friends are. Two weeks ago I was in hospital with a life threatening condition. The best advice I can give you and myself about uni is that there is nothing much we can do about the missed time of not studying etc but to just keep going and finish the assignments no matter how shit they are. Yes we will not get the high marks we are used to every semester but our aim should be just to do our best with our studies given our illness. Talk to your lecturers and tell them that you are depressed. Keep pressing on, the semester will be over and there is always next semester to start fresh. I am a perfectionist and I have to learn that I cannot always be in control of everything, including my grades.

re your dad, he was always going to come back..remember that you will not live with him forever...you can always move out after you finish your degree.

[icu_baby]

Rain, I challenge the fact that bipolar is more biological, I think it is both a mix of biology and environment.

Jess1987 bipolar can easily be managed with the right medication, are you taking it?

I am totally with you with uni. I am also studying and right now I am so far behind, I have a million things to read and so many assignments, one due this week and one due on monday and I haven't even done the research while other people are just about finished writing it...I am usually done by now so it scares me that I am this far behind when I normally am not. I can't seem to focus my mind and be motivated like my friends are. Two weeks ago I was in hospital with a life threatening condition. The best advice I can give you and myself about uni is that there is nothing much we can do about the missed time of not studying etc but to just keep going and finish the assignments no matter how shit they are. Yes we will not get the high marks we are used to every semester but our aim should be just to do our best with our studies given our illness. Talk to your lecturers and tell them that you are depressed. Keep pressing on, the semester will be over and there is always next semester to start fresh. I am a perfectionist and I have to learn that I cannot always be in control of everything, including my grades.

re your dad, he was always going to come back..remember that you will not live with him forever...you can always move out after you finish your degree.