IanFrost64 Posted April 23, 2008 Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 I have met her... the perfect girl for me. At least I believe so however some of my most brilliant ideas in the past have proved to be not so brilliant in the future as I have found out and experienced. It's crazy because she has the same shit as I do, exactly to a tee. It definitely makes me wonder if it will be healthy or will we end up self destructing each other...That's right I have found a girl exactly my age with the same insanity. But the thing is, is that I have never been happier with a girl. She calls me on the bullshit that I spew from my mouth and I can do the same for her but it scares me to death. You guys know that random shit we borderlines spew out of our mouths that makes no sense to anybody except us. Well I understand the crazy shit that comes out of her mouth that would freak any normal person out and vice versa. It begins to make me wonder if it was better that I got involved with someone that is just as messed up as me or if its just a really good idea in my head and really stupid in reality. I don't know though because I have never felt calmer and just OK to be me, like I do when I'm in her presence. I want to be closer and closer to her everyday but I know how I work and therefore can understand more of what to do with her. I know when I need to give her space, when to accept that she just can't be around me at the moment... I mean I could go on and on ...So what do you guys think? Is it OK to have a relationship with somebody as sick as you? I mean if you can connect and really realize each others needs because their extremely similar than why not right? I mean it's not as if I'm getting into a relationship with her right now it's just something I think about for the future maybe. Ha, I'm afraid that she's going to get on this website and read this topic and see the word relationship and just never speak to me again. God, the things that run through my mind... lol... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rain Posted April 23, 2008 Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 Good luck, dear. As long as you're both willing to work at it and recover of course then why not!I'm in one myself, a long distance one. I need to go into therapy yet, but I surely want to get better and make things work.I hope she'll have you Rain xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icu_baby Posted April 23, 2008 Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 Give it a try, you have nothing to lose. If it is not working out you can break up but you never know your potential. Atleast if you both have the same illnesses you can support each other and don't have the problem of trying to explain or get other people to understand what you have.It might work out, if both have a fear of abandonment for example, both of you could be super nice to each other for fear of abanonment :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammy Posted April 23, 2008 Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 I'm happy that you've met someone wonderful, of course it can work! Hard work, but what isn't u know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mememe Posted April 23, 2008 Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 Im in one at the moment!, However he is undiagnosed, but just like me, to a tee, he has MH problems but wont deal with MH services after being sectioned last time!!WE have been together nearly 3 months, it feels like 3 years, and yes its helps, they understand you so much, you can talk and communicate so well........However i know i sound really mean now, but when things are bad for me which they often are, i wont let him in for the simple reason i dont want to trigger him, makes me feel even more intense guilt. I regually SH, but try to hide it from him coz he blames himself all the time then we fight.!!!!!!! I SH last nght, and he doesnt know, hes coming round tonight, its gonna be row again!!!.......Sometimes i do blame him tho, i blame him more for not giving me everything i need, he of all people should understand me more than anyone else...... I alo drive him mad with my constant insecurities, but he acctually does the same back to me but doesnt seem to realise it so much, which again causes temporary breakdowns in us communicating which again makes things difficult!!Sorry to be the bad one here but im kinda living it at the moment, im not saying it wont work!!!, coz mine is at the moment but believe me when i say its not easy! You have got to work at it very hard!!!!!!Give it a go, you never know!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icu_baby Posted April 23, 2008 Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 But mem, you know what,you seem to have a really good understanding of the issues that are affecting you and your bf and this is an excellent start to working on your relationship. All relationships, bpd or not, have problems and not everyone is as able to identify the issues. You are aware of how your behaviour affects your bf and this is more than I can say for most non bpd couples. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icu_baby Posted April 23, 2008 Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 And whats wrong with a bit of passion in the relationship. In some south american countries drama in relationships is considered normal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rain Posted April 23, 2008 Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 Gotta love the drama :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todash Posted April 23, 2008 Report Share Posted April 23, 2008 Dude!How ya doing!!!!Glad you hear you've found someone. As far as if its healthy or not, it all depends on how you deal with things in the relationship. sometimes its good to have someone that knows what you are going through, as long as they dont feed the unhealthy side.Take care hun!!!!!hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foreverborderline Posted April 26, 2008 Report Share Posted April 26, 2008 Happy also that you found someone nice; I will tell you this - I would rather date another borderline than be with another non that just does not get me .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
domino Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 Good for you-i left the woman i was with-maybe i'll find someone else more like me-completely utterly insane in all those good BPD ways Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fucktheworld Posted April 30, 2008 Report Share Posted April 30, 2008 I like your post icu baby. It is true about many countries, expressing your feelings open and wild is not considered crazy. I think love is supposed to be about passion. It bothers me that most movies and books are about the passion available to us in living this life but to openly express a range of emotions is not tolerated in real life. It feels like as soon as we fall in love we are immediately supposed to take a reasonable position and not over react to things that threaten the love, whether they are internal to the relationship or external. At times bpd feels like being stripped down to the base emotions we should all be operating from and then it might just be harder to turn a numb face to the ones suffering in this world. People that react, speak out, act up, are written about, change the world. :wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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