Leave Me

[Primal Scream]

Leave me

When you walked into my life 20 long months ago, I recognised you,

I looked at your face but I couldn’t believe it was you,

I left you years ago, you died and I didn’t morn you,

My life was better without you around

So I denied it could be you and only gave you a sideways glance,

I pushed forward, sure Id been mistaken,

In doing this you moved in silently, without my full consent, and I let you begin to share my life.

Now I remember who you are but it’s too late to just tell you to leave

You have settled in, and now are running my life,

You wake me everyday and remind me I’m worthless,

You have alienated all my friends,

You have brought me close to death,

You have stolen my life.

Now I stand and look you in the face, and not only do I recognise you but I realise your death was a hoax,

You have been with me all along, lurking in the shadows, waiting for a time when my vulnerability surfaced and you could once more take hold,

How could I have been mistaken?

Your death was a triumph,

How could that have not been real?

These last 8 years you have been chipping away, determined to become one with me again haven’t you?

I look back now and can see you there amongst the dark waiting to leap

How could I have been so blind?

Now I want you to leave but you are so interwoven with my life that I don’t know when you end and I begin

How do I walk away and leave you behind?

There is a lock hidden somewhere behind which lie all the answers

But you hold the key

So for now, as I cannot ask you to leave, I instead fight

But you thrive on this battle,

You hand me false weapons and I blindly use them, only to injure myself,

Your cunning ways hold more power than my logic,

Battle scarred, I continue with the fight, your power only strengthened,

With each week passing my flesh is laid bare,

Like an infection you wont allow me to heal.

I try to dream of the future, when I will be free from your thorny grasp,

They tell me its possible to move on

But you have taken all of my belief, destroyed every drop of faith,

How can I ever trust again?

We circle each other, tightly locked together in battle, ironically co-dependent on each other

Who is leading whom?

I swallow another days bitter pill and watch you smile contentedly,

Another day’s victory in your hands.

[Primal Scream]

I should probably add an explanation to this....

Its basically about my depression/BPD surfacing. I`ve been trying to understand how Im feeling so have been trying my hand at poem type writing things. Its also a good way to distract myself

Primal

[tripper]

and you are very talented! Keep it up if it distracting you... :)

[Primal Scream]

and you are very talented! Keep it up if it distracting you...

I dont know about that but thanks Trip!

xx

[Rael]

you really are talented primal thats really good. and im glad you have found something that can distract you.

all the best

donna

xxx

[Primal Scream]

you really are talented primal thats really good. and im glad you have found something that can distract you.

all the best

donna

xxx

Thank you Donna. Hope yr ok hon. xx