Emptiness

[Primal Scream]

Emptiness

Like an automaton I saunter through the motions of existence,

Waking each morning to another days fight,

I find no pleasure in the sunlight I hide in resistance,

I care not for my appearance; I hide away from sight.

Like shadows from another world People move around me,

Their touch like sandpaper on my splintered soul,

Conversations pass through me, my eyes do not see,

I’m motionless, stuck, in a timeless black hole.

I find no pleasure in laughter; its echo pierces my heart like a knife,

Food is wooden on my palate, neither bitter nor sweet,

Like rain drops on waxed leather, wax music drips of my soul, devoid of life,

I feel no connection between my body and the ground beneath my feet.

The day draws slowly to a close; each second feels like an eternal hour,

I know what awaits me lurking in the shadows of the night,

I sleep a fitful sleep where nightmares haunt me, and I cower,

Nightmares of a battle without a victory, an endless plight.

[Rael]

very poignant and expressive, the feelings just jump out at you, very well written.

all the best

donna

xxx

[Primal Scream]

very poignant and expressive, the feelings just jump out at you, very well written.

all the best

donna

xxx

Thank you Donna xx

[Lance]

Brilliant piece of poetry here. A very good choice of words, really love your similes! The whole vibe is very attacking and powerful, kinda sharp and to the point. I particularly love the last two lines, it pulls it all together with a rather haunting final thought, great stuff. Well done PS! Love it.

Peace, Lance

[Primal Scream]

Brilliant piece of poetry here. A very good choice of words, really love your similes! The whole vibe is very attacking and powerful, kinda sharp and to the point. I particularly love the last two lines, it pulls it all together with a rather haunting final thought, great stuff. Well done PS! Love it.

Peace, Lance

Thank you Lance,

I've only just started trying to write poetry, I dont know the rules about how they fit together and stuff, so am really not sure what does or doesnt make a good poem.

I was really nervous about posting but its so nice having such lovely replies so thank you!

Primal x

[Lance]

I dont know the rules about how they fit together and stuff, so am really not sure what does or doesnt make a good poem.

I was really nervous about posting but its so nice having such lovely replies so thank you!

Rules?! Hell, there are no rules with creativity, that's the whole point! Sure you can follow trends and guidelines, but when it comes to writing, just let it flow however it flows, that's the most natural poetry there is, when you don't have to think about it so much. So keep up this great work, I'll look forward to more!

Peace, Lance