Hey

[Hopeless]

first off i would like to apologize for everything i have said about my situation. as you all probally know I dont have schizophrenia it was a lie..

I relised last night the reason i did it and its cause i thougt that no one would like me for who i am so I had to make someone up. I had no idea when i joined this site that I would have made such wonderful friends and love people on a bloody website but I have and i do.

I know that I dont deserve you guys and I have hurt many on here because of what i have done and i am so sorry.

I am especially sorry to becc and karina for what I have put you guys through, I had no idea I would care so much about you but i do and it hurts me to know what i have done.

I am just so sorry guys

Im sorry for what i have put you guys through and for all my lies.

[Saharah Blue]

Hopeless,

Looks like you future career goals, of becoming a T are really possible, since you don’t have a blemished record after all.

While, coming clean and making an formal apology to the whole site is a positive thing to do. It is my guess that you have burned some pretty big bridges, with the people that you may have cared and been involved with the most.

The extent to which you played out this lie is no small thing, to say the least. Months of pretending to be in H, self harming, suicide attempts, or on meds. Even your struggles at home with your family.

Whether you are capable of seeing it from the other side or not, I suspect there will be many people who will doubt the validity of this site for the support they truly need and are looking for, especially people who find it hard to trust in the first place. You played with their real life struggles and fears.

Do you think it is viable that anyone should believe your sincerity with this post, after all that? Just a few things to think about:

1. Building back trust is a long road and with some people forgiveness never happens?

2. Was it all worth it, just to be liked? (as you call it)

Sah

[Hopeless]

I know i wont be forgiven sah

I dont deserve it

and athough i did lie about some things, others were the truth. my family situation for example.

I have desided to leave this site, and I am extremely sorry for the hurt i have caused

I dont know what else to say

I really do care and love many people on this site and that will never change.

bye guys xxx

[Nina of the Light]

I've thought of a million things to say, but instead... I'm taking the high road and keeping my mouth shut.

A wise man once said, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all".

I will heed that advice.

[tripper]

I don't even know what I am supposed to say to this.

Just very very hurt.

Thanks for everything phillipa.

[rain]

I find this very disappointing. This website is very serious, it's meant to be a safe haven for those struggling with mental illness. You've triggered people in the past over nothing, just to get some attention? Some people suspected the hospital thing was a sham, because how would you get that much internet access etc. It just seems sick that you've played it out so long and had people genuinely worried.

It's very wrong to come on here to trigger people, when you have no idea what it's like.

This is no laughing matter, and now people may indeed start doubting one another. Is that person really hospitalised, or do they just want some attention? etc.

I have never lied on this website, and I feel very let down by you. Was this funny to you? Getting reactions from people?

I'll just end it here. Very disappointing!

[Paris]

Phillpa, I want to know if you have learnt anyting from this?

you told me you have done it before, so what makes this time any different? You have hurt a lot of ppl, you are angry at me I know but actually I am disappointed in you- very disappointed. People genuinely cared for you, I know people still do genuinely care.

Playing at being mentally ill was the wrong way to go about getting friends- very much so. You know that now.

[Tray]

ok, i know i aint been an active member the last few days, but did i miss somethin???

[rain]

It was probably all said in the chatroom. Hopeless was putting on an act all along from what I gather, being mentally ill, being hospitalised, taking overdoses. It's pretty sick...

[Tray]

ah ok... well im sure she had her reasons...im not here to judge...

she aint the first on here is she, and im sure she wont be the last...

lets just hope that she can forgive herself, cause thats the most important thing in the world these days, is forgivness...

[Paris]

In my opinion and i have told phillipa this too, i think she really has some issues, thats why she "made" up some stuff- she needs help and I hope now she gets some. She has been brave enough to post and apologise and try and explain herself. Phillipa please start being open and honest with people from now on.

Rain- yes its sick but theres a reason she did this and now at least she will get the helps she needs and deserves. I am quite sure she isnt the first and wont be the last- maybe we will all leatn something from this huh?

[rain]

Why did she even join this site? Wanting to make up an identity, fake having something to have people be worried about her? Why did she choose to confess now after all this time?

[kib0ne]

Hopeless was putting on an act all along from what I gather, being mentally ill, .... It's pretty sick...

Hope, you may not have had the pleasure of having psychiatric shackles put on you, but you are one f*cked up cookie. I always said you weren't schizophrenic, my understanding was you are just a wounded child trying to find their place in the world... just like everybody else I guess; we all have scars, crosses to bare.

Has Hope persisted with months of pretending to 'self-harm', 'lied'? Or has Hope exhibited 'self-defeating behaviour' just as many of the rest of us do, in Hope's case by telling untruths? I go with Tray; we are not here to be judge, jury and executioner. I don't know about 'forgiveness' and it's degree of importance in the world but I think there can be a lot to be gained in finding different understandings.

If you want to turn the page Hope; I think this might be a good place to start http://www.mentalhealth-world.org.uk/forum...hp?showforum=94

[rain]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Factitious_disorder

[Joshua]

ah well. Most people have exagerated the truth to one extent or the other. This is just quite far to the other......

Lets try stay away from insulting hope to much please.

"you are one f*cked up cookie" example..

[medea]

Hope, I don't really know the full situation here, but what I from what I can figure out this is the time when you are going to need this site the most. It appears to me that you have been manifesting one of the most common symptoms of BPD - the manipulation of others in order to meet your needs. You clearly do have mental health problems and you deserve help for them as much as anybody else here. I think you will have learned from this and to your credit you came clean. xx

[rain]

Who says she has BPD?

[Joshua]

manipulation of others in order to meet your needs

Ouch

[kib0ne]

manipulation of others in order to meet your needs

Ouch

uh huh.

P.S. Was that an insult? It wasn't intended insultingly.

[flightlessdove]

Hi,

You mostly all know i have alot to do with philipa - infact she is here at my house asleep wHile i write this.

The only things I can bring myself to say right now is yes she has lied but infact the harming, od'ing is very much true. I say this because I have seen it with my own eyes, and i have had to personally call 111 to have her admitted from od'ing.I want to tell you this is true becuase they have been extremely hard times and by hearing ppl say they are lies, it makes me feel my recent fear isnt valid. However i understand that you believe they were nothing but more lies. If i wasnt here to physically see it i would think this also.

I am sorry everybody is hurting so much over this and i partly feel responsible because i had not confronted her or spoken of my concerns with others, nobody would be hurting like they are........ perhaps i should have left it to come out on its on in time? I dont know.

Wat i do know tho is if you were hurting and down and she gave you love an advice, told you she cared and loved you - that was Phillipa and that was honesty. I have witnessed many tears from her through worry over some of you. Please somehow through this mess try to remember that? Even thought it will never make up for the rest.

I also hope i dont become an enemy through this - Im stuck in the middle - in a place i dont want to be

I am not taking sides nor am i dismissing anything she has done to lie and hurt you.

I just think everybody deserves their own say and this is mine, will you still respect me please?

Phillipa - I am sorry i "busted" you and your fake life/identity, and have caused you to loose so many friends........ however I am not sorry I "busted your fake life/identy as you now have the chance to fix this, to be honest and get some help. Please learn from it everything you can.

I am going to miss you so much xx

[Shellybelly]

hi

ok i have a few things to say here, firstly hope is 17 she is very young and im sure most of you know how hard it is to be a teenager who

doesnt fit in and i think hope must have felt that and she came here and what prob started as one small lie got out of control and im not defending

her im just saying i can see how this could happen.. and yes hope you were wrong to lie i have been here for you and i believed your stories and

to find out there lies has hurt me deeply and i know your sorry for it and i think your paying the biggest price the lose of trust from all those here

you hold dear and i know you have lost alot of friends from this and i dont blame them you did hurt people.

now i just wanna say a few good things about hope everyone has been so quick to point out all she done wrong which you all have every right to

but when i joined here and i have had quiete a few bad days more then good days and hope would always try be there for me she always tried to

help. ok i know she called some of you her sisters and whatever but forget what hope said about about herself i dont think anyone can fake concern

i know she rang crisis teams for some of you, she has talked in im and help you thru a crisis and how many people had a laugh when she was in chat

and she made you smile with her cheecky ways. she is a caring loving person beneath all the lies hope is still was a good friend and is helpful of other.

just try think of her good points? what has she done to help you? how many times has she made you smile?

i was thought something on here and that was there is always a positive to every situation right now i see so many seeing the negitive for just a min

can i ask ye to look to the positive side to this? im not saying forget what she did but learn from it and yeah put up some boundaries next times and

dont trust so willingly. best thing you could do is to teach hope trust is easy to lose but hard to regain but we joined here to be supportive of others

and help them so hope hasnt the illness she said but she still has mental health problem and she does need to look at them and herself right now

and see how she should do things. she is lost and needs guidance so instead of turning our backs on her so she goes and does it again why not help

her learn so she never feels the need to do something so horrible again.. on the top of the site it says support and change so could we try do that with hope

give her a second chance.. many of us have never been given a chance in our real lifes and we could do with them can ye try now do it for someone else

anyways hope im sad and it made me cry and feel so let down by what you have done i have problems with trusting people so this has hurt me and i know

you have wounded some of your closest friends deeply and some have been pushed nearly over the edge by this. you have alot of making up to do hun

and i hope you see the devastation you have caused here and learn people will accept you for who you are if you let them..

i think everyone can learn from this i have..

be safe everyone and try stay strong i know we all need each other right now and i think everyone is hurting right now

sorry i dont mean to take sides and im not either and i think karina you have been very brave and hope is lucky to have you as a friend and no one should

judge you for been a great friend it shows strenght of charater and i think your admirable for how your coping with this and for telling the

truth well done..

lots of love and hugs to everyone

mickey

:wub:

[Todash]

This is my own opinions....

I think everyone has some valid points and feelings regarding Hope and her misuse of our trust. Most of you know how I feel about lying. I used to do it in my past life for many reasons, the main one was to not disappoint people. I have been able to grow and learn that it isnt healthy and now, I do everything i can to be open and honest. I think Hope's goes way deeper then that. I want her to get healthy, but she has got to want to accept the help. I will always be here to offer her support, but my boundaries will be high with her. I will be on guard for manipulation. But I will be here.

Thats my opinion.

[Tray]

i think its time this was laid to rest... i also think Hope needs out help in accepting her behaviour and that what has happened needs to be sorted...

maybe hope should leave this site and come back as philipa, the real person she is...and be honest and truthful from the start...

a new begining is the only way forward...

i look forward to meetin philipa and reading her introductory post..

[kib0ne]

i think its time this was laid to rest... i also think Hope needs out help in accepting her behaviour and that what has happened needs to be sorted...

maybe hope should leave this site and come back as philipa, the real person she is...and be honest and truthful from the start...

a new begining is the only way forward...

i look forward to meetin philipa and reading her introductory post..

Where would you propose the arena for that is? I'm going to say that I'd back Hope if she wanted support in that to be here. I think she's been really brave in 'coming clean' about things... I just don't think it's as simple as just shutting the book. I think if people feel aggrieved and that talking here helps then they shouldn't be denied the opportunity for that. I think (might seem rich coming from me since I'm not around all that much these days) we should work through this together; as MH-World goes as a community it isn't exempt from people rubbing each other up the wrong way; my take on it is that it wasn't malicious.

I also don't think it's for the best that Hope leaves as Hope and comes back as Phillipa, or see that she needs a new beginning particularly to continue to be a valid member of this community... its what came before us that makes us who we are today and I value all of it the good, the bad... and the ugly.

[rain]

I think she's been really brave in 'coming clean' about things...

Sigh... somebody come out and tell the real truth. Hope preferably since you're still lurking.