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Hopeless

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Paris Loyal Members

Paris

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Ok i am starting to find this uncomfortable, hope has admiited the lies here and can we all not move on from this? hope included in that too!! I actually hope that phillipa continues to use here for support as it sounds like she really needs it.

Karina- I do not hate you I feel for you right now and I think you did a brave thing confornting philly and also for taking her back in after all this. I am glad she has you- although I am cncerned for you right now.

Rain- maybe time to stop the bitchy replies as there arent going to change whats happened, its done now we all need to learn and move on. Dont get why you are taking it all so personally? Makes me wonder

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rain Loyal Members

rain

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I'm really bitchy, aren't I. Ooh and I must be guilty of something aswell in your eyes. I'm not going to explain myself to you. I know why I bring things up, so please refrain from personally attacking me. Thank you.

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Paris

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I did not personally attack you, unless you have something to feel guilty for cos i was just stating a point about you- not being supportive here and being rather defensive. And paranoid hmmm? Ah well just an observation here but im guessing you dont really care much about any but you.

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Joshua Loyal Members

Joshua

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Hope will not be granted the right to a further account. I would suggest coming through this under the same account name is what is required. Rather than hiding behind another account.

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rain Loyal Members

rain

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Wow, loula, you've really gone and figured me out. Yeah I was really paranoid there. Thank goodness people like you are so gifted and can sense my identity through some letters on a screen. Yay!

Just leave me be. I am entitled to my opinion on this matter, just like everyone else. And where in the rules of this forum does it state that people have to mindlessly follow the one opinion and post several of the same replies? Nowhere, indeed. Yeah, maybe there's some invisible social code but I'm not following that.

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kib0ne Loyal Members

kib0ne

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Yeah, maybe there's some invisible social code but I'm not following that.

YOU REBEL!!! Anyway since Hope hasn't come back to tell me the real truth.... would you care to enlighten me please?

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rain Loyal Members

rain

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It's not up to me to tell anything, as I wasn't there in chat and whatnot when it was 'unraveled'. I just know some people feel upset by the praise directed towards Hope for being brave and coming out, that's all. It was in their interest, I know it must be frustrating for them. They can tell if they like. I was never close to Hope really.

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Hopeless Member

Hopeless

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Ok time to fess up.

The real truth is I am a member of several forums like this but I have left them, I made up several stories on those sites and thought yup Im not going to lie on tis one, I was going to be the real me, but after awhile lies just started forming and i couldnt get out of them. But then I found out I like this site, i cared for every bloody person on her which i have never done before. I found a new family one that liked me. But i couldnt tell them the truth because i was afraid that they wouldnt like me anymore so i felt I had to lie some more, it was eating at me lying to those that I cared about. when i joined this site I had not idea I would love the members as my family, I thought it would be just like the others and i could just leave. but i cant do that here and I wont. I know i have hurt so many people on here, and I know the relationships i made are probally lost. But the real truth is I care about the members here.

And Im not willing to let that go

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Ocean Wolf Loyal Members

Ocean Wolf

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Ok I didn't notice most of this I guess so I don't know if my opinion here is wanted. I'm honestly a fence sitter on this one.

I've been accused of making things up when I have been honest because, apparently, some people do that. I have never understood why anyone would do that. It really hurts whenever someone assumes I would make up something for reasons that make no sense to me just because someone else does. Hence, this is hard for me to accept.

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Tray Loyal Members

Tray

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its time to start again hope... post everythin u have lied about anbd start again...as you, as philipa... im sure i wont be the only one wiling to listen x

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kib0ne Loyal Members

kib0ne

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its time to start again hope... post everythin u have lied about anbd start again...as you, as philipa... im sure i wont be the only one wiling to listen x

No you won't I second that.

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Saharah Blue Loyal Members

Saharah Blue

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This is a message from Irish to you hope (my own bf is commenting on your behavior):

1. we love we love, otherwise we wouldn't post.

2. You are feeding off the addiction to this site, replace it with professional help.

3. Comment only when and only when, you have had professional help on what has taken place here. We do care about you hugely, (this is my emotional opinion from seeing this stuff and we understand your pain)

please be safe, (love you but do get that professional help, seriously)

Irish

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Saharah Blue Loyal Members

Saharah Blue

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I am not Irish, thank god, so I don't have abide by any of his sentiment. What I will forward though this, Nina put together a really true sentiment on how this has effected the people that have been closest to Hopeless. This is the flip side of the coin that is currently taking place in all the acceptance of hope, getting help and being supported.

This is a blog and has Nothing to do with what Nina would have been willing to post herself, I FULLY TAKE RESPONSIBILTLY FOR ADDING THIS INFORMATION ON TO THIS POST:

********* TRIGGER TRIGGER TRIGGER TRIGGER TRIGGER*********************

DO NOT CONTINUE TO READ IF YOU PLAN ON ATTACKING ME FOR MY FEELINGS.

I knew I'd get triggered by this, but instead of provoking a fight... I'll just vent here in my blog. I just love how much sympathy she's getting. But what about my feelings?

What do I do with all the wasted HOURS.. not minutes.. HOURS that I sat with her, barely able to keep my eyes open, talking her through what I was sure of a true crisis????

What do I do with all the wasted EMOTION that I gave, WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE IT TO GIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE??????

What do I do with all the HOURS I spent obsessing over how horrible her family is and how I could help??

What do I do with all the feelings I had when she told me she was cutting her neck and bleeding all over??

What do I do with all the feelings I had when she told me she was locked in a room for days with no food or way to use the restroom and instead went bathroom on herself????

What do I do with all the feelings of SORROW and HELPLESSNESS I felt when after hours of trying to talk her out of an OD, she pretended to do it anyway??

What do I do with all the heartache I had to hear IN DETAIL about her life story?? about the brutal RAPES and beatings, how she's so hurt???

She played me. Like a God damn fiddle. And who's to blame??? Obviously not her! So by default, I guess it's my own fault.

IT'S MY FAULT THAT MY HEART WENT OUT TO A CHILD WHO I THOUGHT WAS BEING ABUSED!!!!!!

This is an absolute insult to humanity. A person who is struggling, who is weak gets taken advantage of.

YOU ARE A SOCIOPATH. You aren't sorry. You don't know how to be sorry. If I had a dime for everytime you told me you were sorry... I'd have enough money to send you to save you from your family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are ridiculous. You love morbidity. You love the attention. For whatever reasons. You have hurt me beyond belief.

************** this is how i feel, think about the way others even closer to you feel??? others whose lives you entwined yourself with on a more personal level???? others who REALLY suffer daily just to survive. *****************************

I can see where this could've started as a way to gain friends or attention, but when it got to a point of you caring for others, and them caring for you and you started a real personal relationship with.... calling on the phone, visiting in person.... At some point you should have stopped and thought about what you were doing.

You preyed on the already weak and vulnerable. You've cost people their trust in honest people. You've kicked people who are already down.

Everyone wants to know why you came clean... do you dare tell them that it wasn't your choice? That another friend turned you in??? That you aren't as courageous or as SORRY that they think you are???

Do you want to tell everyone that this isn't the first time you've done this???

Do you want to tell everyone just HOW MANY MH sites you are a member of?????

Do you want to tell everyone that PEOPLE SENT YOU MONEY??????

Do you want to tell everyone that people sent you gifts and letters????

There comes a time when you just have to take responsibility for yourself. Everyone has a choice everyday. You had a choice.

I don't care how offensive this is.... I'm hurt beyond belief. You absolutely knew how incredibly sensitive I was to Child Abuse issues... how it runs my life.... how I live my life around this very issue. How it consumes me. How I break down and lose my mind at the very thought. You've brought me to my knees when I thought that there was nothing I could do to save you from being beaten, raped and abused. I've spent many sleepless nights worrying and wondering what it was that you were going through.

How dare you.

What gives you the right to say things like that?

It's my own fault for opening myself up to being hurt... but can you blame me when it came to the welfare of a child???

ugh.... i'll just stop.

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kib0ne Loyal Members

kib0ne

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I feel it is good that both sides be seen here. She has hurt people in truly extreme ways.

In response to Irish's message... I feel like 'nonprofessional' support is being undermined and I'm aware that MH-World has the capacity to draw on professional expertise besides. I strongly oppose the notion that Hope be told to steer clear of this place, most of which is old hat here so I won't be going over it again.

Sah, I hear you... I had similar thoughts to you about it; which may not be apparent but I have come to a resolve for myself: I wish you likewise. I can't comment fully on your blog because I don't know what was said to whom, when etc but it's my belief the heartache was real... I try to look at the person rather than the experiences because at the end of the day I think you can make generalised assumptions about the affect certain experiences have on a person, but we're all different, we have different resiliencies for one. I don't really think our hurt... distress, whatever you want to call it is scalable and comparable and it shouldn't be, I think I'm going off on a tangent so it's time for me to be quiet :blahblah1: .

No.., she continues :P. When it comes to 'blame' I think it's connotively negative, but ultimately its about responsibility which can be positive when its yours to jump up and seize... I think what I want to say to you is don't turn this on yourself, you've made it clear you're hurting, don't torment yourself any more as difficult as that might be, look after yourself. xxx

Rain, I concur; I think it is good to see both sides here but coming back to the idea of responsibility I think Sah's partly got the right idea... I've observed cultures of people not taking responsibility for their feelings and I don't want it to be bred here. There is control to be had in how you respond to stimuli; sounds a lot simpler written down there, than it is to action: I know.

Take it easy cheesies!

xxx

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Hopeless Member

Hopeless

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I have been told not to say anything from now on but I need to say this, I did lie about some things but never once did I lie about my family situation, yup you guys dont believe me but that is the truth and I know it and thats all that matters.

Yes I made mistakes but I am trying to sort through them, Im moving to australia with my mother and have asked her to set me up with a T, a proper one not just a keyworker which i had.

And I have NEVER got any money off anyone! ever. I would not let it happen.

I have said sorry and so im not going to say it again.

I did more than fuck up. I know I did something very wrong. I know my actions have consequences and Im now facing them, But i am making a change so I will not do it again.

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