The Parts Of Me

[Todash]

This is something ive been working on with my T. I have several people in me. Im trying to De-compartmentalize them. They do all have names, but I have removed them for on here. Any thoughts or insight is appreciated. Thanks.

A: She is a frightened little girl. She hides in the darkness so no one can she her cry. She likes to swim as it hides her tears. She just wants to be held and loved for who she is, but she doesn’t know who that is. She wants to enter the white room, but it scares her. She is afraid it will reject her like everyone else. She is not worthy. She is imperfect. 4-6ish Scared. Frightened. Hidden In the dark afraid the white room.

B: She sits in control of my anger. She is my warrior. Her strength is immense. She holds the lid on a pressure cooker. None survive that meet her. She was create through time, pressure, resentment

C: She is what she thinks society wants her to be. She is the ‘right’ type of person. She binds and gags her the true soul. She fears other’s opinions of her and assumes she is here for everyone to judge and critique. conform appearance

D: true, core, pure, healer, empath

E: sex flirt lust erotic

[Todash]

Wow, no comments are anything. Great. guess im really worth reading about. lol

[flightlessdove]

You are worth everything to me

I have not ever looked at the child part of me like this or any part for that matter.

For me its just something i dont understand and try not to think about..... perhaps i should.

Maybe there are people in me i dont know about?

I struggle to look deep inside coz im scared of what il find.

[Saharah Blue]

Dash,

Discovering the various parts of yourself, that make up your identity; was this awareness something you had to work to gain, or have you always known this about yourself?

I think is shows an incredible amount of self awareness, much more than I dare say many of us have around here.

So, now you are on the next stage of puzzle, which looks like piecing all these bits of self into something more cohesive and acceptable (for you).

I am curious? What conflicts arises when you try to do this?

Sah

*totally ignoring your own reply to this post. You know inside that is not why you did not get a response sooner.

[Moonshine]

Woah never been in this section before but glad i did

That's pretty cool that you have all these identities in you. I have 2 others too. They're me but not me One of them i made up at a time in my life when i needed her, and she's great! The other....i'm not sure, i think she's been forced to the background for too long for me to know when she appeared. They have names too which i have to believe i gave them but to be honest they fit them too well so i lovingly think it is simply their names. I used to get really scared by them and how i could see them so distinctively then i spoke to my sister and i realised that everyone has different sides to them, but i've just taken it one stage further and they've become other people. I guess sometimes i have no idea who i am because of them but i'm starting to again realise noone really knows who they are.

Just think you'll never be lonely How many other people can say that! What does your t say about it all? Sounds like you're really progressing, i've never spoken to anyone about my other identities apart from my sister so you have a lot of courage to be so open!

take care!

[Primal Scream]

Hey Todash,

It sounds like you are doing some really deep work on yourself, I admire your bravery for doing that, it must be hard going. I dont have seperate people inside me but do have distinct voices in my head which argue together all the time, so I can understand at least some of the battle you face. Im in a pre therapy group at the moment and once I go full time I will have to face the demons in my head too.

I dont know what else to say exept well done for starting to identify and understand this part of you, it takes alot of courage.

Primal xx

[Todash]

Sah - I love you!! I know its not the reason. I wasnt in a good space last night. Thank you for calling me on my shit.

As far as conflicts, there hasnt been any as i keep them safely apart. Most of yesterday was mostly B's day. D had to work hard to keep B in check. B is strong. It takes too much energy to deal with her. I feel she would dominate all the others if she were to be allowed to be free. Does that make sense?

[Saharah Blue]

One of the ways that I allow myself to heal, is to really give energy and attention to that part of me that knows how to do this. I tell myself that she gets to be in charge this week, and slowly work through the obstacles that week that would keep her from being so.

It involves a lot of positive self talk, and constant reminder to myself that, "this is all that is taking place" Especially, when it starts to turn into something it shouldn't be.

Then the week is over, I am usually pretty damn spent and I take a step back from it all and give myself a break and be lazy.

I pride myself on my self discipline. I (try) to remind myself that is was good enough. When I can't or I forget to my T is great at reminding me to take credit for my hard work.

Sah

[Todash]

If I let B be in control for a week, it would be mass destruction. She is a reaper of vengeance. She takes revenge when possible. She is the keep of wrath. I would have no one left if she were allowed even an hour of control.

The others, yes I can. Her i can not. EVER.

[Faerielight]

i have a few peeps inside me too!! i think its goos for you to be working with this deep stuff. hugs bluebell x

[Ocean Wolf]

I noticed A and B are opposites. So are D and E sort of. What do you think of that?

I just want to say, this is a very interesting post and I'm glad you're discovering the aspects of yourself.

[Todash]

Interesting observation, but theyre not really opposites. Some of there characteristics are opposite of each other, but they are not totally opposite.

For instance with d and e, e is definitely sexual, but d also is in the form of tantric sex, but also totally independent beings.

[Ocean Wolf]

lol I've reread it and you're right, of course.

[Todash]

Np. It made me stop and look at it some more. It was helpful!!

[Shellybelly]

hi tod

i think its great that you have done this and that you can see who they all are and describe them and

know how they feel you know i have similar me's too and you helped me deal with them and learn more about

them. you said if you let b out then you would have no one left.. that remind me of one of my me's yeah you met her

lol what a bitch she was anyway point is could you let her out in a control enviromant like arrange it to do it with your t

let her talk and get out what inside her cause she could hold answer to some of the questions you ask yourself

just a thought.. anyways i think this is cool what you have done im so proud of you

loves and hugs ya

shell