Now On Meds

[Nina of the Light]

First time ever being prescribed meds other than some antibiotics sometimes. I'm nervous about it. I tried to talk to my T about losing my identity. I mean, yes my moods from having bipolar I and bpd are excruciating and distressing, but that's ME. That's my identity. If I'm all drugged now, I won't have anything. I'm scared of becoming invisible. And not like I'll just blend in with the crowd... (as my T thinks that I mean)... I'm talking about how my mood swings, anger and insecurities are ME. That's all I got... and now having it taken away, I believe I'll cease to exist.

What a horrible thought pattern. Logically I know my illnesses don't define me, but their effects on me DO.

So now I'm on Abilify my anti psychotic. And Celexa as my anti depressant. And I'm prescribed Trazadone which is an old school anti d that didn't work for depression but is a great sedative, so I'm taking that to help me sleep.

I'm gonna give this a whirl I suppose.

Anyone else worry about losing themselves while on meds???

Nina.

[Todash]

I know some of the ones ive been on made me feel that way. I just told my pdoc I didnt like they way they made me a zombie and he would try something else. Just be in constant contact with your doc and if something doesnt feel right, let them know.

I hope that the meds will bring you some relief hun. Good luck!

[Faerielight]

i was soo scared that i would lose my intelligence on antipsychotics, that it took years for docs to get me on them!.. i didnt become stupid but was verysedated but now im on a tiny dose so im not like a zombie during the day!! abilify is not very sedating so you should be fine.. good luck!! you'll still be you. just as more balanced you!! hugs, bluebell x

[kib0ne]

Just wanna wish you all the best with it. x

[bibiddi]

I can relate to this one too!

I would just say, keep talking with your doc about how it feels, and together you will get the doseage right.

Hopefully being you, but with the extreme feelings taken out.

And even if you do feel like you have lost your personality, try not to stop the drugs, its just a matter of finding the right balance for you.

Take care.

[medea]

Hi nina, I can absolutely identify with your fear of losing your identity. I resisted mood stablisers for such a long time believing that my 'mood swings' were all that I was (if that makes sense?) However, I started taking them a few weeks ago and I don't seem to have 'disappeared' I just feel a little calmer, more balanced. I really hope they help you in the same way. Take care xx

[nobody]

Hi Nina,

I can totally understand your worries, i had the same ones too when i started on my meds, tho i hated Trazodone cos they turned me into a zombie the next day.

I'm now on Lithium, Olanzapine (anti-psych) and Lofepramine (anti-depressant). Giving Lithium a go was a real sticking point for me, but now i'm on it, i don't notice and weird side-effects.

The meds haven't changed who i am at all, and i agree with what others have said about talking to your Dr if you find that the meds they want you to have are giving you side-effects that you would rather not have, as there are so many alternatives they could try, which might suit you better. I hated Abilify, and after saying on numerous occasions that i couldn't get along with it, i just stopped it - they soon changed Anti-Psych - that always works!!