I Have The Right

[seafree]

Im really angry today. Everywhere i go there's fucking favouritism. I've spent the past 3 years being pushed into a corner on my degree because i dont dress right, have blonde hair and a squeaky voice.

On forums all over the internet. Its all favouritism. People only reply to other peoples threads if they are their friend. If you're in the chat room enough.

Im also angry about freedom of speech and how it doesnt fucking work. People arent allowed opinions, aren't allowed to feel, aren't allowed to be different. Im pissed because i've just had my group therapy session and apart from problem solving its all about having the right to say no, having the right to have an opinion, having the right to be cheerful or miserable.

If i was a racist person for EXAMPLE, surely thats my right. Surely if my opinion on racism was for it then thats my decision and that is my RIGHT.

I fucking hate this world.

[flowergirl]

Sorry you feeling so angry Jess, but yeah... I agree.

Ive spent almost 4 years trying to fit into this place because I dont fit in anywhere in the real world, and guess what, I dont stand a fucken chance.

Im not some ditzy girl who's all so pretty and all so sweet, Im me, and fuck it - I wish I didnt care, but I fucken do!!!

Anyway, sorry this probably aint helping, but I agree. Theres probably 10 names on the "favs" list, of peeps that say the right thing, and dont have an opinion of their own - I aint gonna make it to the top 50 of the 12,000 non members that come/came/went here - ah well.

Sorry Jess, but dont let the bastards grind ya down - You are you, and you are unique, stay special

[Pynn]

I'm sorry you feel this way Jess.

You have a good point though.

I often feel the same.

And flowergirl is right! You're unique!!! And that's a wonderful thing.

[seafree]

Thanks for your replies! It sucks. I want to be me- the REAL me is brash, honest and upfront but in a good way. But SO many people cant deal with that. I say the wrong things, put my foot in it, can never get my point across but so fucking what. I am a NICE person, i would do anything for anyone. People dont get me. Grrr that has no relevance lol.

As for online forums. Well im just going to make a REJECTS group. Fuck it.

[Tray]

can i be part of your rejects group... kinda feel the same meself, i get sick off biting my tongue all the while, and sitting here watchin everyone else get favoured... i have always been at the back of the queue, and im sick of it as well!

[seafree]

Course ya can tray! sorry you feel the same.

much love,

j xxx

[full blown sarcasm]

i agree that favouritism exists and i've been rejected from pretty much everywhere. and yeah i know what you're saying when people only reply to their friend's post. not many of us would admit that but it is true.

i've read a lot of your posts and i think you're a wonderful person and i admire your honesty.

anyway i'd like to join the rejects group too. if of course you don't mind.

[seafree]

aw thank you full blown sarcasm, thats really sweet. Of course you can join the rejects group :)

much love,

jess xx

[rain]

I see a topic full of some of the most special, most caring members on here. Does that make me a favourist!?

Nah, I don't belong either, I have a strange way about me I think. I prefer real people, not people that say things cause it's expected, cause they don't seem to have a personality as it were. I am nice to people on here, but I'm genuine, so maybe I am counted as a ditzy person!? I don't know, maybe paranoia. Anyway, love you all!

[Faerielight]

hi jess.. i wanna join too!! i feel like an outcast too.. i dont reply to everyones posts cos im not well i used to give a lot more support here when i wasnt so ill and exhausted.. i hope you dont think i shut you out, cos i can reaate to you, hugs, bluebell x

[Shellybelly]

i think you are who you are and if people dont like you tough shit

dont change or try be somebody your not i spent years doing that in my life trying to fit in be who everybody wanted me to be

and it didnt work cause no matter how much i tried to hide the real me some parts always escaped and it was too much work

trying to be who everyone else wants so bout two years ago when i took my first breakdown i stopped been who everyone else

wants im me and i talk a hell of alot not that you notice but it me its who i am and when im nervous i talk twice as much

it just me and i am me so im not changin me for no one and i think jess you should be yourself on here.

i know i have got told i reply to just my friends on here and yeah i admit i do reply to my friends there friends of course im gonna

try and support them when they need it. but i also try my best to answer other people who i dont know so well post. i know for a good

while i wasnt answering hardly any posts as i wasnt able i was too sick myself it only in recent weeks i really started but i dont show

favorite i answer the posts i know what to say sometimes i aint got a clue what to say to the person so i cant answer them. and i think

many people on here have the same problem but it ok not to answer every post.

i know in my heart i do my best to support others on here and thats all anyone can do and i think if you do that then it dont matter

what other thinks. i have had arguement and gotten upset many times over silly things on the forum and in chat but if we let these

kinda things stop us been ourselfves then why bother using the site. were here to learn how to be ourselfves and deal with our illness

DONT LET ANYONE STOP YOU BEEN YOURSELF..

sorry i rambled lol hope your feel ok now jess and im sorry if you felt i have excluded you at time i never meant too

hugs

[Doc]

Hey there, don't despair, kiddo...

If anything, those who don't appreciate you for who and what you are probably aren't worth bothering with. Trying to be liked and get along with everyone is very hard, and very few people accomplish that. I'm sorry to hear that you feel you're being deprived of your freedom to give an opinion, just remember, some people may find your feeling hard to relate to, hard to grasp. The trick is to give people a chance to get to know you, and hope that in time they'll come to understand the real you.

Favouritism is everywhere unfortunately, along with prejudice. Just turn the other cheek and get on with things as best you can in these situations. I feel that when giving an opinion on something, you should feel at least the responsibility, if not the duty, to make sure that your opinion is not going to offend anyone. Being open-hearted and minded is definately the best way to be. I really hope that your comment on racism was only for statement's sake, and not sincere.

Try to cheer up, there seem to be alot of decent folk around on this forum that I'm sure you can rely on!

[CharcoalKiss]

I know how you (all) feel. And i am sorry to hear that you are (all) feeling this way.

[seafree]

I am so truly touched by all your replies, im much calmer now and realise that wasn't a particularly nice post

Thank you all for being such inspiring and caring people,

Much love and many hugs to you all,

Jess xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Marchmadness]

Hey -

I am glad that there are others who can relate to how you are feeling.

It helps to validate that you are not alone in feeling this way. People are

just people, everyone wants to belong. I know I have said before that

I can be in a room full of people I know and still feel alone. Like an

outsider. Hard to explain why I feel that way, it doesn't happen all the

time, but it still does. Hope that with all of the replies you did receive

tonight you are not feeling so alone.

March

[CharcoalKiss]

And on that sentiment March, i know precisely how you feel about being in a room full of people and still feeling alone. I feel that all too often. Irritating, isn't it?! lol.

[denise24]

Can I join?

I dont fit in to the blonde hair squeeky voice catagorie lol xxx

[Ocean Wolf]

First off, the thing about being a reject is, once there's a group of rejects they're no longer rejects. After all, they aren't rejected from that group.

Once you get rejected by a group that calls themselves rejects, that's being a real reject. Heh, that happened to me.

Second of all, Jess and any others, I'd be happy to hear whatever you wish to say. REAL you or whatever you decide. :)

[Cynic]

Hey there, don't despair, kiddo...

If anything, those who don't appreciate you for who and what you are probably aren't worth bothering with. Trying to be liked and get along with everyone is very hard

Getting along with people without liking them isn't too difficult. The worst part is where people are determined to be difficult for the hell of it.

On forums all over the internet. Its all favouritism. People only reply to other peoples threads if they are their friend. If you're in the chat room enough.

I've noticed this pattern on a number of forums. However, I tend to reply to the post rather than the poster. Does that make me odd? Even if it doesn't I am odd all the same!

Im also angry about freedom of speech and how it doesnt fucking work.

Are repressive authoritarian military dictatorships that imprison people for speaking their minds any better? I doubt it somehow. I know what you mean as in expressing opinions that the popular crowd don't subscribe to can often lead to an attack on the person rather than the content of the opinion. A lot of stupid selfish bastards are unable or unwilling to differ between a disagreement and a personal attack. No wonder I avoid most people these days.

People arent allowed opinions, aren't allowed to feel, aren't allowed to be different.

Sounds like the British 'stiff upper lip'.

Im pissed because i've just had my group therapy session and apart from problem solving its all about having the right to say no, having the right to have an opinion, having the right to be cheerful or miserable.

Ah, boundaries! I've been through courses like this too. However, in reality, the boundaries are often set by those, who are above the laws themselves, and have the right to overstep our boundaries, which contradicts the theory.

If i was a racist person for EXAMPLE, surely thats my right. Surely if my opinion on racism was for it then thats my decision and that is my RIGHT.

I guess there is nothing stopping you from being racist. However, pushing racist views on others is where the line is drawn and people may object.

I fucking hate this world.

Me too.

[sundries]

I dont see how you can insist that you will 'be yourself' and then insist people ought to like that self.

I cant see any reason why they wouldnt like you BUT you seem to be saying people dont and that you get excluded.

but if that is the case, why should someone force themselves to like you? And if they dont like you or get much out of being around you why should they spend much time on you?

People cant help what they like and dont like.

[Cynic]

but if that is the case, why should someone force themselves to like you?

No one can be forced to like anyone. However, when one takes a dislike they typically manipulate the rest of the group into excluding you too.