Life is sweet Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Have thought about this and known it for quite some time. Stinkyboy reminded me of it though. Does anyone else share the experience of feeling "wrong", "sad all the time", "depressed", whatever, at a very young age. I remember instances in first grade, perhaps even kindergarten when I felt something wasn't 'right'. Sometime around first grade thru fifth grade i knew my family wasn't right too. That my family was 'all wrong'.Just curious if anyone else shares these experiences. Such a strange feeling to have at such a very young age. But, nevertheless I knew for a fact something was definitely not right the way it should have been. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todash Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Oh yeah...I remember just crying in 1st grade because I was teased. I can remember sitting underwater at the bottom of the pool so no one could see me cry. I was 8ish. I remember in the 7th grade taking a knife and trying to stab myself in the stomach because I felt SOOO different.My mom has always said how once I started school I became an unhappy child. I think a lot was I finally saw how dysfunctional I was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pynn Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 I always felt something was wrong with me, as long as I can remember. I was always different. In primary school I always felt that way, and then in high school it got worse and worse. I always try to figure out what the 'point of no return' with this was. What was the time where action should have been taken, to prevent me from having troubles like this all the way to adulthood? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stinkyboy Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Have thought about this and known it for quite some time. Stinkyboy reminded me of it though. Does anyone else share the experience of feeling "wrong", "sad all the time", "depressed", whatever, at a very young age. I remember instances in first grade, perhaps even kindergarten when I felt something wasn't 'right'. Sometime around first grade thru fifth grade i knew my family wasn't right too. That my family was 'all wrong'.Just curious if anyone else shares these experiences. Such a strange feeling to have at such a very young age. But, nevertheless I knew for a fact something was definitely not right the way it should have been.Now you just reminded me of something from my childhood. My mother told me that in kindergarden when all the kids would do fingerpainting, mine would be all dark with black and other dark colors, never anything cheerful or bright. So much for my world view back then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakemacleod Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 I remember feeling quite sad all of the time and thinking that I would never "fit in". That feeling of not belonging anywhere. It was about at the age of nine or ten that I decided for the first time that death was preferable to life and swallowed a bunch of valium I found in the medicine cabinet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Heh, like I need to say anything.Peace, Lance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tray Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 me too... i have a memory of being kicked out when i was 2 and goin to live with my grandparents... i have two memories, although not sure if they real after that, but up till i was 8, nothin, no memory at all, then when i was 8 i had a 'breakdown' i guess, cryin n shit, wouldnt leave my bed, the house etc, and the doctor gave me some 'tonic pills' whateva the fuk they were, but after that, i always felt different? like couldnt sociallise with people, kids at school, my family, friends... i was seen as weird, i guess i was i started takin anti d's at 13, i was pretty much a drunk by then tho... i wish i would have been dx sooner x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairy Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 I was very unhappy as a child, interspersed with mania really. I hated school, would not take part in anything educational, my Mum says it is a miracle I can read and write. I loved sports, had friends but so often felt very depressed from about the age of 4. I was expelled from school just before my 16th birthday.I couldn't cope with structure, bounderies or failing, so I just didn't try. I was the class clown, a natural born show off, but, still so depressed. Confusing, as it still is now.Fairy xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vickyw Posted June 15, 2008 Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 Hi, Yes i know what your talking about, i have been depressed since i was 13yrs old and its horrible thinking that your whole life has just been this black hole of depression and sadness. The best thing i did was get help from a therapist, i've been able to talk through things from when i was younger and work through them. vicky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cynic Posted June 15, 2008 Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 I had a rather hassly childhood and my mum and dad often got mad with me. I wasn't aware of anything badly wrong at the time, though I was a bit fkd-up, had a short fuse, and had a few fights with other boys. When I went into a home at the age of 12 was when the rot really started to set in, where abuse and bullying was the norm. That was when I started to sense a real sense of hatred, injustice and depression set in within a few months of being there. I had been hospitalised for a week with pneumonia within 6 months of being in the home, which I'm sure was probably stress related. After being taken out of the home at the age of 14 back in my mum and dad's, I went to secondary schools for kids with emotional difficulties. I was expelled from one after 8 suspensions over 18 months there, and a few months after moving house I went to another school of the same sort where I was booted out a year later after sagging off near enough full time, lol. By the time I left the kids home, I was pretty damaged in the head. I suspect I may have/had PTSD, but have never been diagnosed. I was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome shortly after leaving school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Life is sweet Posted June 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 Have thought about this and known it for quite some time. Stinkyboy reminded me of it though. Does anyone else share the experience of feeling "wrong", "sad all the time", "depressed", whatever, at a very young age. I remember instances in first grade, perhaps even kindergarten when I felt something wasn't 'right'. Sometime around first grade thru fifth grade i knew my family wasn't right too. That my family was 'all wrong'.Just curious if anyone else shares these experiences. Such a strange feeling to have at such a very young age. But, nevertheless I knew for a fact something was definitely not right the way it should have been.Now you just reminded me of something from my childhood. My mother told me that in kindergarden when all the kids would do fingerpainting, mine would be all dark with black and other dark colors, never anything cheerful or bright. So much for my world view back then.Its like you are talking right out of a good book many of us have read on here called Get Me Out of Here. Its by Rachel Reiland. You should pick it up sometime and read it if you have not already. The first chapter of the book is exactly like that....painting, but such an ugly picture and she feels all ugly, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Life is sweet Posted June 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2008 Thanks for all your replies. Interesting topic. Thanks. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorkiegal73 Posted June 19, 2008 Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 I can remember self harming by pushing gravel into my knee until it bled. i think i was about 6yrs old then. I always felt distant from other people and generally panicked or unhappy. When I hit puberty I had mega problems with accepting my periods (possibly due to the abuse) and free falled into a depression which lasted from 12 to at least 19. I first tried suicide when I was 12 but my parents didn't know about it. anti depressants from 16 for bulimia, hospitalised at 18. The attitude back then of psychiatrists (from my own experience) was to try and fix the bad child for the benefit of the parents, rather than look at the problems of the parents which had maybe caused the mental illness in the first place. Having read my notes, my parents were congratulated for being strict with me and commiserated with for having a difficult teen. damn i still feel bitter about it. when i think how suicidal i was back then and all i got was censure for being a binge eater. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Life is sweet Posted June 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 Wow, yorkie. I sometimes think that is the way of therapists to 'fix the bad child'. But, sometimes parents don't want to cooperate at all anyways, so what else is there left to do? I guess at least they can try and help someone, you know? Tough situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Athas Posted June 19, 2008 Report Share Posted June 19, 2008 I've been having these problems as soon as I entered kindergarten (age 4). I couldn't find friends although back then I was very lively and outgoing. In elementary school I was constantly harassed by my classmates. One weekend, our class went on a trip and there was a playground. My classmates prevented me from playing, saying everyone could, but not me and whenever I wanted to play, they stepped in the way. My teachers didn't do anything because they hated me too. i didn't get it and it was hell. I had fantasies about suicide at age 10. During grammar school, I became more and more quiet and withdrawn until in 12th and 13th grade, I barely talked to my classmates for days.I don't know why, but I've always been different. Not even only in a negative way. I would write stories, had a very vivid imagination, painted and sang and loved music and I always thought "beyond" what others were thinking about.but somehow, these things always got me in trouble. And my personal problems became worse and worse from elementary school on. When I moved to Bremen (Northern Germany, I'd lived in Southern Germany before), I hardly knew anyone here for the first 1 1/2 years. I thought in English, even dreamed in English because I only had my English-speaking internet forums and nobody irl to talk to for days. That's what became of the happy, lively child I used to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherry_Tears Posted June 24, 2008 Report Share Posted June 24, 2008 I remember being different and seeing the world through my bubble I was so lost all the time and couldnt understand and bottled it then i would black out and next thing I know I have 3 teachers sitting on me.I got prescribed anti-depressants at 7 and my mum made it all about her and said she couldnt cope and put me in care. Cherry x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristianCaritas Posted July 6, 2008 Report Share Posted July 6, 2008 The attitude back then of psychiatrists (from my own experience) was to try and fix the bad child for the benefit of the parents, rather than look at the problems of the parents which had maybe caused the mental illness in the first place. Having read my notes, my parents were congratulated for being strict with me and commiserated with for having a difficult teen. damn i still feel bitter about it.uh huh i can relate because my parents think thats how the world is, luckily i have some docs who think otherwise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meanne2007 Posted July 9, 2008 Report Share Posted July 9, 2008 Yes i experienced that when i was in kinder, since we went to the school late, my teacher place me into the end of the line of students that will go to the room. i feel like i am alone that time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roswell Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 [I do I always felt that I did not belong/fit in the family unit etc. I found out at 13 I was with a foster family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skakitty Posted August 21, 2008 Report Share Posted August 21, 2008 yeh, i don't remember much from my chilhood, i'ver only got a few memories really! i do remember when i was about 5/6- i got really angry (can't rem why) and pushed my friend into a chain fence, but then i remember being on the teachers lap crying about it and the teacher saying if i didn't stop i might be sick from crying so much lol so i guess it was the guilt!I also remember when i was 9, two of my friends and i got the 'special' task of putting sheets on desks at lunch- we were playing around in the classroom when the teacher caught us and made us stand outside. When we got back to class i pulled my chair hard into the table so i couldnt breathe, i remember this was the first time of me thinking i had to 'punish' myself even though the teachers punishment had ended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mj76 Posted August 21, 2008 Report Share Posted August 21, 2008 i was very sensitive or `highly strung` as my mother would say,,i got night terrors and was very clingy,,tho at school i was ok i had a lot of friends and was the `jokey` one,,i guess it helped me,,i used to worry about starving children in africa and cry about the possible threat of nuclear war,,at the age of say 6 or 7 lol,,,,my parents hid the newspapers from me cuz i was `over sensitive` to the news and events going on,,,,i remember being so upset at charlottes web they had to take me from the class,,i was in real pain,,so upset for an animated pig!! luckily tho as i say my friends accepted me as i was and i think my jester side kept me from getting anything to bad,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennifer456 Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 I have a friend who always feel sad and always be in depression.She is different from all of us.She never mingle with us.Can anybody tell me how this could be prevented?========================jennifer456Nevada Drug Addiction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadsecrets Posted August 25, 2008 Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 Hi,I can totally relate to most of you. I can remember in elementary school standing in my kitchen wanting to end my life violently with a knife. I had always felt a disconnect from my classmates, feeling like I wasn't quite a part of them. At first I blamed it on the fact that I wasn't in their neighbourhood. But now I don't think that's it. thanks for posting this question Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Life is sweet Posted August 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 I have a friend who always feel sad and always be in depression.She is different from all of us.She never mingle with us.Can anybody tell me how this could be prevented?========================jennifer456Nevada Drug AddictionSome people are just like that, they go through moods. I don't think YOU can really prevent it, but you can help her to cope with it. Let her know that you are concerned and care about her. If there is anything she wants to talk about, etc. Its tough seeing a friend go through that and be depressed. I can imagine how it must feel. But, unfortunately there isn't much you can do to prevent her from feeling that way except be there if she needs to talk. She is the one who has to get help for her depression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Life is sweet Posted August 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2008 Is that a robot? Did I just click on an ad?. I fell for it. Boooo!!! This makes me very sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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