Wills Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 i hate this addiction more than my gambling, at least with my gambling i didn't have to do it to survive and i can ban it from my life completly and take myself away from the situation whereas food i have to eat three times a day just to fuckin survive.......i've had an aweful wkd, i feel shit and i feel whats the pt, i remember watching that tv programme about a guy who tried to eat himself to death and just ended up puting on weight upto 50st, what if i gave it a try....Seriously thou i am anxious of dieing and i'm only 24, 16 stone which i know isn't massive massive but i hate being what i am, i am a seriel dieter who has massive swings in weight, i have skin that if i lost all my weight is gonna be saggin and would need an opfuk it fuk it allcuntssorry for the swearing but its the only way i can express how hacked of i feelI also keep wanting to have lots of tattoos but i know that this is just another form of self harm, to cover the mistake that is me and in the end once they are done its makes no differance so at the moment i am resisting.AAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHLike someone in another forum said its almost like a slow suicide (cept i don't feel suicidal)Will Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pynn Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 I feel you. *nods* -_- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wills Posted July 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 ta muchly just glad of a reply on the new board Will Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pynn Posted July 13, 2008 Report Share Posted July 13, 2008 np :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wills Posted July 14, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2008 i;ve stopped gambling and as i said before i fidn it easy to stop for a certain length of time (ie in last 4 years i have stopped for 9 months and 17 months.....shouldn;t ahve started again but thats another story). Anyway i'm feeling alot better about myself at the moment, but i do this where i can feel shit and suddenly it lifts and i feel good..its like a viscioud circle i put myself inWills Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulrica Posted July 15, 2008 Report Share Posted July 15, 2008 I totally feel you on this one. I've always made the point that ED's are the hardest forms of addictions to break. 'Cause like you say, you actually need food to live so it's not like you can avoid it. Having been addicted to most things under the sun my ED is the one thing I can't ever really shift. I tell people it's like asking an alcoholic to just keep it to a glass of wine a night. Not gonna happen. I wish people could see this and try and understand just why having an ED is so hard... I was addicted to drugs for a total of four years, I've had my ED since I was 14... I'm 26 now... It sucks, but I know you know this. Wish I could say something wise and profound but being in somewhat the same situation I'd feel hypocritical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pynn Posted July 15, 2008 Report Share Posted July 15, 2008 I feel what you're saying there Ulrica.:( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wills Posted July 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2008 HiThanks for the post Ulrica, nice to hear from someone whose had a dual addiction and knows whats happening and thanks Pynn for the reply as wellTodays been ok, trying to stick to three meals but i'm constantly thinking about eating today, i've had two main meals plus a small bag of fruit and nut (trying to be healthy if i don't stick to my three meals ) i'm also trying to not beat myself up when i don't exaactly stick to the three meals and we will see.WillsPs Pynn hope things get better for our mood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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