Si A&e Rant

[lucy]

I went to A&E on Monday after harming on Friday and received stitches the nurse was fine but the Doctor seemed to be under the impression that because I had self harmed I must be suicidal. I explained that I wasn’t but it wouldn’t have it, I really couldn’t be arsed to explain it him so he probably thinks I’m stroppy, well if he didn’t at that point when he started to offer me advice which all doctors do (because I obviously don’t have a clue) “there are lots of people with problems in the world and if you just think of that before you harm yourself…..”I said “that suggestion implies that I think I am the only one with problems and I can assure you I don’t however each individuals problems are relevant to that person” it leaves me feeling that I am a pain that I should just keep my mouth shut. Why can’t they be more like the nursing staff and treat you whilst being caring? I’m sorry to rant but it really annoys me

Lucy

[Benway]

hi lucy,

can relate. in my 'a&e days' only 1 dr. sat don and listened to me, for about an hour. he gave me the medication i needed, i was benzo fitting, effexor withdrawls really vbad, and suicidal.

i will never forget him. and he was a S.H.O. , not a pstch! or even fully qualified. ps- not saying my A & E days are over, but it been 7 months- a record.

a lot of people think that cutting means you are suicidal. they are not too well up on self harm. they think cutting=suicide- that could be one reason.

Also, very many drs do not have the right attitude to bpd'ers and our nuances. 'Attention Seekers', "here she is again", "Was this lady not here last friday night also" etc, are some of the kinder things ive heard med staff say outside the curtain cubicle.

I dont blame you for having a rant. thats what the site is about, diffusing anger an knowing you are not alone. .

Ideally there should be omplete mental health reform in ireland and the uk and everywhere. To have something like an out of hours clinic staffed with psych nurses and councellors where stitching could be done, you could see a counsellor, get support, with a psych on call should u need to be addmitted. it would bbe so much less intimidating for us to go to something like that than down to regular a&e. plus it would bring down waiting times for everyone.

who gets sick 9.30- 4.30 monday to friday???? for me its always nights or weekends.

its so horrible when you have to virtually shout your name, d.o.b. and 'i feel suicidal and need to see the psychiatrist on call'- and 30 heads turn and look at you from the waiting room.

[Fairy]

It is an awful experience, just kicking someone when they are down. I think you did really well in your response.

I was once asked by an A&E doctor, "Do you think I would like to treat you for overdosing or people that have no choice?" I said I didn't care, as I didn't at the time. The strange thing about that experience was, he referred me to the psych unit, told my husband not to tell me why, when I arrived they sectioned me. But of course, I had choice! I believe there is an element of contradiction in that!

I hope you are feeling better now.

Fairy xxx

[Marchmadness]

Lucy -

You have every right to be upset with the A & E doctors. Its not called

ranting, its called reaching out and getting support from others who

understand and can relate. The more I hear about your mental health

care over there, the more upset I get. I mean it has to be so frustrating

not to be heard, listened to. Almost like you are being dismissed. You

are correct in saying because someone is SH does not mean they are

SUI - for most people its a release. I am sorry you had to experience

this doctors lack of empathy.

Marchmadness

[skylace]

Something really needs to be done about this - my last trip to A&E was horrible due to a bitch of a nurse. I think many nurses/doctors just dont understand which isnt very helpful but occasionally there will be one who is willing to listen and not judge. I can see their point in that yes, Self harm IS self inflicted but that doesnt mean we should be treated differently or judged. What about people who get trolleyed and end up in A&E? Do they get similar treatment? Or people who drive stupidly fast and end up in an RTA? Probably not.

I know that I would feel far more comfortable if there was a place to go to specifically for SI incidents - where you wouldnt get nasty comments or people being judgemental. With the amount of SI that happens these days I think it would be really beneficial but of course with this crap government I cant see it happening!

[ann51]

Yes, as I've posted elsewhere, I've had more than one bad experience with ER doctors and nurses and MH professionals. They don't get it at all.

[ann51]

PS All of this REALLY pisses me off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had one ER doctor who was kind, and I wrote him a letter of thanks.

[skylace]

ann - yup I agree, pisses me off too!! Seems like the ones who understand/dont judge are few and far between. Do they not realise that their reactions make us feel WORSE!!

[Fairy]

I had one positive experience of understanding a few years ago. I had overdosed and was at A&E, as I had received so much negativity in the past, I was prepared for some more. The nurse that saw me first, after going through the details asked me what else was wrong as she felt I was angrey. I said that I knew it was my fault and I was wasting her time. She replied that she felt people like me are ill and need help, unlike the scores of drunks they get in over the weekends, those are the people that annoyed her.

Sadly we don't experience this attitude all the time. I don't think most of doctors and nurses at A&E have enough traing and understanding about self harm. Although, a contradiction is they seem to have enough experience of dealing with it!

Fairy xxx

[Crackers]

Luckily, i've only ended up in hospital on one occasion, and i did my usual trick of laughing and joking so people would think that i was OK, and so that they wouldnt feel so uncomfortable and tell me that i was a stupid little girl. Only one nurse saw through it, she was new and she was honest with me, telling me that she didnt really know what to say or how to help me deal with what i had done, but that if i needed to talk (i had to stay overnight) i knew where she was. I just takes one person like that to make yu feel so much better.

[lucy]

I know what you mean crackers, i self harm alot that needs stiches for me atm its how i cope and i go in smiling trying to be nice, that times that i get upset is when someone is really kind, i can cope with love etc but i had harmed on moday went to a minor injiuires unit and she spoke softly touched my arm ressured me etc its completely freaked me out and i had to leave

Lucy

[yorkiegal73]

I've had good and bad experiences. I tend to find that the staff are less sympathetic when A&E is busy, and i can sort of understand that they may run out of patience when I turn up at the same time as someone who's been run over. I've heard comments about borderlines said from the other side of the curtain. I think sometimes they know full well I can hear them.

However, when I was there the other week they were lovely. The nurse told me not to feel guilty as they were there to help, and that self harming was just a coping mechanism that worked for me because unfortunately they hadn't figured out another way to help us yet. The doctor talked to me for quite a while and didn't rush to the assumption that i was suicidal, whilst at the same time spending long enough with me to make sure she was right. She offered a psych referral but didn't push it. I asked if i could sit in the waiting room until it was light, to calm down and they said no problem, and also offered me a cubicle if i'd prefer that.

I've found that they tend to be more pissed off after I've overdosed, because I've taken more of a risk with my life. I think they are genuinly frustrated at the lack of secondary services and see both us and them as being let down by the nhs.

[sundries]

FAiry, you shoudl have told him that you would assume he preferred to treat people who self harmed, as obviously they wanted to be there and its nice when people want to see you

agree casualty sucks. however, i have found it getting better in last couple of years. they have been having more training. however, have also found that while they are getting better to your face they still have the same attitude behind hte curtains

[icu_baby]

It is an awful experience, just kicking someone when they are down. I think you did really well in your response.

I was once asked by an A&E doctor, "Do you think I would like to treat you for overdosing or people that have no choice?" I said I didn't care, as I didn't at the time. The strange thing about that experience was, he referred me to the psych unit, told my husband not to tell me why, when I arrived they sectioned me. But of course, I had choice! I believe there is an element of contradiction in that!

I hope you are feeling better now.

Fairy xxx

Sad but true fairy (hi chick btw, missed u on here!!) that doctor sectioned you for legal reasons to basically cover his arse.

That pisses me right off, do you know how many alcohol related injuries come through the ER - they had a choice - they knew drinking would cause them to be in a fight and have alcohol related injuries or result in having their stomach pumped so its bullshit to blame you like you had a choice or could control your self harm. People should learn to control themselves when they drink but no - alcohol resulting in ER is more socially acceptable then what you did. Same for people who smoke - does he say well you have long cancer because you smoked and its your fault where I could have been treating people who developed lung cancer without smoking. They are so ignorant.

[icu_baby]

LUCY - KEEP STICKING UP FOR YOURSELF THE WAY YOU DID.

I had a doctor call me an attention seeker to my face. She had no idea of my history and what I had been through and I complained and got a letter of apology.

This just shows how how much stigma there is out there for people with BPD.

[denise24]

Bad experience.... I took an od, was made to go to a and e, and the nurse said, not her again, why the hell doesnt she just do it properly.....

[Fairy]

Hey Denise,

That is terrible, did you complain? How humiliating, unprofessional and downright horrid. I am disgusted. This has really made me cross. That is REALLY kicking the shit out of someone when they are so low. I am so sorry you had that experience.

ICU, I agree completely. The OD I took on that occasion was not SH, that is why I was sectioned, it was a very dangerous and large OD taken over twelve hours earlier. It was only my survival through the night and vomitting that made my husband realise, check I had taken tablets, then took me to A&E. Thus, when the doctor asked what I thought, I said I didn't care, I really didn't!

Bastards!

Fairy xxx

[denise24]

I didnt complain nope, because at the time, I was a patient on the ward and had been for nearly 2 months so I wasnt in the right frame of mind. I stormed out of a and e, and she come running after me saying sorry!!! Every time ive seen her now, shes been dead nice to me... I was going to complain after I was let out, but I wasnt sure weather anyone would believe me seems as I was a patient on D2 and the time....

[icu_baby]

Hey Denise,

That is terrible, did you complain? How humiliating, unprofessional and downright horrid. I am disgusted. This has really made me cross. That is REALLY kicking the shit out of someone when they are so low. I am so sorry you had that experience.

ICU, I agree completely. The OD I took on that occasion was not SH, that is why I was sectioned, it was a very dangerous and large OD taken over twelve hours earlier. It was only my survival through the night and vomitting that made my husband realise, check I had taken tablets, then took me to A&E. Thus, when the doctor asked what I thought, I said I didn't care, I really didn't!

Bastards!

Fairy xxx

Hi Fairy, you were lucky in that instance. All my OD's were all with intent to you know what.... I was still told off after I woke up from my near death comas that I wasn't supposed to come out of. That is what hurts me the most. I agree, even drunks that come in every night get better respect than us sometimes.

[-Ro-]

I'm sorry you've all had such terrible experiences, it's horrendous!!

Last week I could not face going to a&e, the last time I was verbally attacked by another patient's family because I was seen first (the hospital know me and my severity of self harm), the receptionists loudly announced to the whole waiting room who I was and what I was there for, causing everyone to be hostile. I've been in and out a lot and I do sympathise with them but when you're in a bad state it's just the last thing you need. Anyway last week I rang my GP and explained on no uncertain terms was I going to go to a&e and could they please just try to steristrip me or something (it was too late for stitches and they weren't as bad as they usually are) and they were so nice to me! It was a completely different experience. So I don't know if it's worth for all you to try to get your GP to see you if you think you can be managed with steristrips.

[Fairy]

I have had that too, the GP nurse is always very nice. As I cut on the same place on my arm, they can't stitch on scar tissue, so they glue. The GP is very understanding. This leads to the issue, if the GP nurse "gets it", why can't A&E?

Fairy xxx