After Many Hiccups..

[tripper]

After many hiccups along the road, next Tuesday at 9am I am to report to work.

I am not working in the same department for the time being, although I long to return to that department (pathology/morgue) as it is something I really enjoyed in the past. I am to work in what is quite possibly the cattiest department in the entire hospital (records). 11 years ago when I worked in that department I came home in tears every night and I hear they haven't change their attitude.

I guess I should be grateful right? At least I have a job and all that... but truth be told I am packing it. I know this means I am somewhat recovered enough to be considered more high functioning with my illness. I'm seriously scared!

[Saharah Blue]

I am so proud of you, for being so willing to take this huge step. My thoughts are with you, and hope for the best, even in a den of bitches. You are strong. I believe in you.

love,

Sah

[Marchmadness]

Hey Trip -

Change is really a very scary thing, once you get used to being back at

work you may feel differently. Its those first couple of days that are the

hardest, you can do this Trip. Thats great that you are going back to

work. You have been through so much, and working hard in your

recovery, and now its paying off. This is a great post for others to see.

Let us know how things go.

March

[tripper]

Well just been to see the pdoc and he has given me some anti-anxiety meds to help take the edge off a bit. He said I should be commended for doing this. A few months ago he said I will never work again and now....

[fucktheworld]

It is hard to walk in that door after a time away, especially when you know you will be around strong personalities. I have to have a plan or I'll get sucked into the drama and I'll be all messed up. If they find out I won't play they don't care and go off on their merry way to run havoc elsewhere. "Friend to all and enemy to none", works well in a 'den of bitches' [quoting sah ].

What about the pink hair?

[tripper]

The pink hair is no problem, I'll be shut away from everyone apparently. Ah what goes on behind closed doors eh?

[Fairy]

Good luck Tripper, I understand how nervous you are, and I really hope you have taken some time to congratulate yourself. You are amazing, you must be proud.

First day over and you will feel much better I am sure. It is a big step, in the right direction, brilliant.

As for the cattiness, I agree with FTW, don't get involved.

Sending you all my best wishes.

Fairy xxx

[ann51]

Tripper: It sounds like you have truly made an extraordinary accomplishment; that's great!

I know how you feel about the "cattiness"; that's the worst thing about jobs. Shit goes on where I work, as it has in all other places I've worked. It's a good reminder to me to hear what others posted about this. Hang tight; let us know how things go.

[tripper]

I have lost the mental health support worker I was originally told I would have. I am on my own so clubhouse is backing me up and supporting me with access to a staff member who is a psychologist.

I am still packing it, this weekend will be so hard for me s/h wise as I try not to sabotage this.

[bumblepipi]

Oh man you rock. I used to work in Media. talk about bitches, c u next tuesdays and all manner of things I think you are amazing. I had to make the decision never to return to that kind of environment as they were vampires and sucked me dry. Pink hair coool. I got magenta steaks but they faded and now I am orange.

[tripper]

Well I have made it to Saturday without harming, even though the anxiety is still pretty high. Just wanted to say thanks to orankey for coming and keeping me company last night. I appreciate it.

[Marchmadness]

Trip -

How are you doing today? You have been doing so well, and working really hard.

You really are a strong person. Hope the rest of the weekend goes ok for you.

Marchmadness

[tripper]

Hi March, I made it to Saturday night and then stuffed up. Its not too bad though.

Other than that I have physically prepared for work. Clothes ready, bag ready. Mentally I am being to crack but will hold it together.

[bibiddi]

Tripper, well done for taking such positive steps.

I think everyone cracks a little bit when starting at work.

I dont know if its of any use, but would it help in just going for a meander around the hospital today, just to familiarise yourself with it again, and just to check it out.

It may take some of the worries away with it.

Anyway, hang in there, you are doing great.

[Benway]

fair play to ya girl!

what you said bout them thinking you will never work again gave me some hope.

thats f'in amazing!

best wishes and good luck tommorrow tripper

you are an inspiration.

cheers

aine maire

[tripper]

This time 24 hours from now I will be at work. I am so scared right now!!! Ah well I will make it through I guess...

[Saharah Blue]

Trip,

ooooooh I know how spooky it feels, I still remember returning to work after my time away, I you will do well. Don't forget to treat yourself for you hard work.

so proud of you,

Sah

[loulou1330]

:wub: Trip, hope today goes ok, we're all thinking of you xxx

[Fairy]

Thinking of you Trip, let us know how it went.

You are super brave.

Fairy xxx

[Marchmadness]

Hey Trip -

So tell us, how did it go today? Tell us, tell us...........

I hope it all went well for you. Talk to you soon.

March

[tripper]

Its been a very long day....

I struggled all morning with everything going on right now. Wanted to call in sick (yes on my first day back) but didn't and went in. I kept fading off into la la land because my pdoc had instructed me to take extra largactil this morning which I duly did. It was disturbing having a desk with my back to the rest of the room because I kept turning around to face who was talking to me to find no one there. I thought I was over doing that stunt and could differentiate the voices from people. I struggled with that today. I desperately wanted to run off to the bog and cry my eyes out and while I went to the loo it was a dry cry (sobs without tears, I do that a lot these days due to meds). I made quite a few mistakes which I hope aren't found out while I'm there because I can't handle criticism very well at the best of times.

I survived the day without phoning the psychologist and at therapy this afternoon I was congratulated by my T for giving it a go. She thought it was scheduled for next week and not this week. All in all I think I went okay with a few hiccups but everyone does that right?

[loulou1330]

Am so proud n pleased for you Must have been absolutely nerve racking but you did it and managed to get back in one piece. Well done you. Hopefully next time wont be quite so nerve rangling tc lou xx

[Fairy]

First day back of course people make mistakes. You are brilliant, so brave, YOU DID IT!

I hope you are really proud, this thread is inspiring.

Fairy xxx

[fucktheworld]

No more first day back !!!

Tripper would they let you turn your desk around to make the differentiation easier? ...look up instead of having to turn around?

spread your wings

before they fall apart

[tripper]

I don't think I can alter the furniture any but I will let the supervisor quietly know of my concerns. I got funny looks for the pink hair but hey they at least treat me like a normal human being.