Past Issues

[smile]

Im having some trouble in therapy, which is making me feel down and sad.

For about a year or so (a few years back) I went through a stage of exercising too much (3 hours plus) and living off of fruit and cereal. Obviously I lost weight, probably too much for my height and body frame. My mum constantly told me I looked like a bag of bones, yet I couldn't see it, I felt in control and liked the results I was getting. I could still feel fat, but liked feeling better about my size. Eventually I gave in due to depression. I stopped the exercise and started eating properly. Now I can say I probably had an eating disorder.

Well about a month back in therapy we started talking about healthy eating. I was nearly in tears it effected me so much. I feel like Im missing the old me. Now when I eat I tend to feel guilty. Im only about 8lbs over my natural weight, but to me that feels fat.

Now there are other people in therapy who have problems with food at times. Today one of them was talking about it and it really got to me. I don't know how to deal with this topic when it comes up in therapy. Maybe I never got over what happened before. Makes me feel like a failure the way I look now.

Sorry dont know why I wrote this.

[bibiddi]

In a way, its good that there are other people in therapy with issues you can relate to.

I know when I was in group therapy, sometimes just saying that you too relate to whats being said, but you dont feel able to talk about it just yet, was enough. Its the start of a difficult piece of therapy, but it also helps the person who is talking know they arent alone with their problems.

Being in therapy brings up more issues than we were aware of went we first go in.

I hope it goes well, next time this topic is talked about.