Why Can't Anyone Else See?

[aussiebabe]

I hate my body big time, all i see is this fat, gross person.

Does anyone else?, NO! I know they are lying.

I am over weight. I know i am. My clothes are tighter and i can feel the fat. disgusting.

I want to be slim, slim, slim.

Some days i do not eat and then i have people nagging me but they don't have to live in my body.

Some days i just eat until i am sick. Which is good because it is all out of me.

I feel like shit and have written 'fat' on my stomach to go with the 'hate' , with scissors and i really do not care.

Why can't i be slim? Take laxatives to clear me out, have been for a long time.

121 therapist said i am not fat, checked my BMI, but i know she is lying. Why is everyone lying to me? Why can't they just tell me the truth.

Have an Aunts birthday tea to go to in 2 weeks, i want to be slim. They have always seen 'fat' Sharon, that is me all my life.

Doctor will weigh me tomorrow, i am going to be bloody mad if i have not lost any and i had better not have put on any.

I HATE HATE HATE HATE MY BODY.

I WANT WANT WANT TO BE SLIM.

Fuck

[simon01228]

Awww that sounds so sad :'(

I know you think your fat but im sure your a really beautiful girl. I know you don't want me to say this and you think I'm a lier but I assure you its true.

Whilst I haven't had much experience in ED please do one thing and don't take laxatives to lose weight. You will lose vital body salts and could end up dangerously ill which none of us wants. If you do still feel the need to take laxatives please drink plenty of water to make up for it.

I know it sounds like im nagging but I just don't want you to end up badly ill over it.

Please tell me how its going for you.

Simon x

[skylace]

Hi there -

Gawd - I can totally relate to your post. I know you think that people are lying to you - I think that is pretty common with EDs - I know that I get paranoid as soon as a subject about weight approaches. I really dont think that your therapist would lie to you - you need to try to trust (which I know is difficult).

Having days where you eat nothing and other days where you eat until you are sick can play havoc with your metabolism - I am pretty similar with my eating patterns but it can be really difficult to get a hold on it. I know it is tough to focus on other things when all you can think of is food/fat/weight etc but try to find something that you can enjoy doing if only for a little while.

As for laxatives - cripes - can I ask how many you are taking?? They can be really dangerous but, again I am in a similar situation so for me to preach would be v hypocritical. All I will say is please be careful with them - they are addictive as I found out when my intake went out of control but Ive managed to get it back down. They really do NOTHING as far as losing weight goes - all you lose is water and salts/electrolytes etc which can be severe.

Take care

xx

[Marchmadness]

Hey -

Can you ask yourself this question - why would they lie to you? What do they

have to gain from lying to you?

I know you said your therapist has told you, that you are not fat. Do you trust

her? It is so hard to look at yourself objectively. You have so much anger towards

yourself, do you know what you are angry about?

Taking the laxatives is really not a safe thing to do. Please stop taking them, I know

how addictive they can become. Be safe -

March

[lostinme]

i feel exactly the same.. i just want it to all go away..i look at myself in the mirror and just want to cut it all off.

all i can do is send you *hugs* and understanding i guess

[aussiebabe]

Well i was right i didn't lose anything!! Bloody annoyed. I was nearly in tears when the doctor told me.

Yes, i do trust my therapist but i just don't believe that i am not fat. Yesterday she said i looked gaunt! because i have dark patches under my eyes!

I haven't eaten anything for 2 days, i really do not want to. I just feel lousy. Doctor seeing me again on Thursday because i am so low. I will not tell her i am not eating because then she'll tell the psychiatrist, they always pass information to each other if they think i am doing something 'stupid' but i'm not.

I feel like i am in this long tunnel and the light is fading away from me.

Sharonx

[aussiebabe]

Still not eating very well. Had a couple of jaffa cakes today. I look at food and cannot face it still. Still taking laxatives makes my stomach flat and i feel empty of everything.

Sharonx

[charliesgirl]

i cant stand 2 look in the mirror i see fat all over & wana rip it off yet others tell me am slim its head doing. Please be careful with the laxies they r trouble. Thinking of you, xx

[fucktheworld]

I hate it I'm all on this morning, chowed down on some carbs yesterday and trying to go on a coffee diet and can't get my pot to work. I've been out in the kitchen an hour hitting the cord with a hammer, the pot connector with a hammer, old shit pot. Three days of coffee and water melts it off me. Not great for anything, especially bipo ippi lar symptoms. I'm terrified of any gain, feel all full and want the shakey starvies.

been an asshole all weekend again, a gd child stuck on the train platform, looking back and forth for the f**king train

:(

[aussiebabe]

Well, i only lost 2lb!! For fuck sake. Cried at the doctors over it, bloody stupid. Emotions a bit unstable at mo anyway. No food will touch my mouth. That is it. End.

Sharonx