Betsy Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 Ginny, Don't let one person keep you from sharing with your friends. We need you and I think you need us. Thats just one persons oppion and if you dont want any more pm's from someone you can block that person. That makes more sense to me than cutting off your support group. I hope you reconsider. bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 it sounds as if dd has suffered some form of abuse and this is a tender subject for him - i would like to say to him this; dd, ginny did something wrong that she is trying to make good - we all have problems, including you, and none of us are perfect. it was obviously a big deal to her to post this thread as she is feeling really bad about it all. i really dont think the way to deal with someone with problems is to be abusive towards them. i understand you may have had an emotional reaction to the thread, and a very strong one, but managing to control our emotions better is what we are here to do, so please try in the future to handle them in a way which does not involve abusing other members. gin - i agree with betsy and lady. dd had no right to do that. block those pms and move on. we care. u have as much right to post your stuff here as anyone else. love you xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 ((((((((((Ginny)))))))))) please dont let him stop you from posting how you feel we dont think your a screwed up f*ck! your anything but that we care alot about you here he is just one person! where as we are many!!! please keep posting as i know how hard it is trying to bottle things up here for you always Traceyxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frog Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 ((((((((((Ginny)))))))))) here 4u huney, your are not a screwed up f**k, and that was wrong to say that. Ginny don't listen to DD, you are a wonderful caring person. We are all human, my mother slapped my round the leggs when I was a kid, she did it the once and, it hurt emtional but it tuaght me a gud lesson, and I don't begrudge her for that at all. Please keep posting hun, we are all here for you and love you so much, don't let one person spoil this place for you. here 4u always sweetie Hugs Frog :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted February 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Thanks so much to all of you... I have blocked the PMs but I cant stop him posting what he thinks of me.... I am very afraid now, of posting how I feel. I hope you all understand... It hurts me to think that I may have contributed to someones anger or grief. I wont do it anymore. Ginny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Hon...its not you...its whats inside that person that makes them angry and they look for people to hurt because they hurt. There is no doubt about it that everyother member here values you and cares about you. Its so true...I wish you could see the goodness inside of you that we see. Love Em Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frog Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Oh Huny, Lady is right it's not you. We are always gonna piss someone off, don't feel bad, its not your fault. Just curimstance - I hope to god I have spelt that word right applogies if not. Hang in there hun we are all here 4u sending big hugs froggie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted February 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 :trigger: Thanks Frog (((((( ))))) I appreciate the support on this issue but I have had time over the last few hours to deal with this and it hasnt been easy, I have done some things that would viewed as self harming and I have done everything possible to escape the pain I have been caused ...... Doctor Dysphoria I am someone, such as yourself, who has come to this site to seek help and understanding)... I cannot believe from your posts that that is your intention on this site. I believe that your derive some morbid pleasure in causing anxiety to people on this site, and yet, whenever I have posted any reply to you, I have been sympathetic.... I believe you lash out at anyone without due reason and I will not accept what you said to me without reacting (BPD) you are a monster - you should seek real help and stop thinking you kow more than everybody else - you have an ego the size of which is unimagineable and does not fit the real you at all. You disgust me!!! Ginny PS. I hope I dont get banned for this - but I am prepared to accept the consequenses... By the way, at least I had the guts to post this personal abuse - you were coward enough to have to send it in a PM that no-one else would see - you worm.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janey Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 :bigarmhug[1]: Well said Ginny! Go Girl!! Thinking of you... xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 I am happy you are feeling better and no how much you are cared and loved for by us. Love, Em Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Ginny, hang in there my dear. As has been said abuse of other members wont be tolerated here. So please feel safe to continue talking here you are a much valued member. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Dysphoria Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 I did not mean anything bad in my pm to you Ginny. I am not a bad person. You can all think what you like about me - like i never post anything supportive or helpful -which is NOT TRUE. Would you have been happier if i had agreed with your self appraisal of yourself of being evil instead of telling you that you are not.? You are all quick to bandy about words like worm/monster/coward etc but i see nothing worthwhile in your deliberately choosing to see the worst in me and choosing to misconstrue what was genuinely meant as a supportive pm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 dd, I think its a good thing that you came here and explained yourself in a calm manner but.... Can you see how calling someone a screwed up f**k may be taken as an insult rather than anything constructive or supportive? I guess its all about how we word things huh? What may of been a better way of adressing ginny that would of shown your intentions in a way that wouldnt be missunderstood? xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 dd - come on man, dont try it. you call someone a screwed up fuck, you are insulting them. i frankly find it deplorable that u say, now u have been caught out, that it was meant to be supportive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Dysphoria Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 dd, I think its a good thing that you came here and explained yourself in a calm manner but.... Can you see how calling someone a screwed up f**k may be taken as an insult rather than anything constructive or supportive? I guess its all about how we word things huh? What may of been a better way of adressing ginny that would of shown your intentions in a way that wouldnt be missunderstood? xx <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Maybe i could have worded it differently but all i know is i didn't mean any harm. Much is made of my being unsupportive and a great hoohah made of my pm to Ginny but i also sent an informational pm to wisdom re 'borderline and ect ' on the same day because i saw her posts re ect and depression and wanted to help .That sure as hell wasn't the act of an uncaring or bad person .Was there an acknowledgerment of that pm even if to say 'Thank you but i know that already' -No! I have posted helpful pms to other people here and yet what gets picked up on is what was wrongly construed as a negative pm. Same goes for posts on the boards. It's made out i have not posted anything worthwhile and yet i have made quite a few worthwhile posts.l I care one hell of a lot maybe i don't show it in a way that you all see as caring but then ask yourselves is 'chocolate' the only flavour ice cream in town? In terms of caring i would stack my credentials against any of yours favourably any day of the week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 DD, I have said nothing about most of your posts being unsupportive. I am sure that a lot of them are. You also do not have to convince myself or any body else that your pm to ginny was done in any other term than support. But I do have to ask that you take care with the words that you use on these forums and also in pm as we are not mind readers and can only work with what we can see before us. Communication online can be hard going as it lacks any of the body language and tones of voice that would accompany words in real time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Just had a thought..... As adults we are expected to act and behave within the rules and laws of our society. This is to ensure the safety of those within our community, plus it also safegaurds us as individuals as well. We do not get praise , or a great deal of recognition for this, but yet the majority of us still continue to follow the law as we have seen that it works for the best. Those that do not stick with in these laws are punished or repremanded in some way. This happens even if they have ben a perfect citizen the rest of there lifes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Dysphoria Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 dd - come on man, dont try it. you call someone a screwed up fuck, you are insulting them. i frankly find it deplorable that u say, now u have been caught out, that it was meant to be supportive. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I am not 'trying ' anything .I have explained it was NOT my intention or purpose to insult Ginny .That is the TRUTH Maybe it did not come out the right way, and that is the only reason i have for apologising. but that does not make me a bad person. Ask yourself is your behaviour any better in deliberately and wrongly accusing me of being deplorable when i was just putting the record straight. If you were telling the truth and someone accused you of being ' deplorable' and of 'trying it' how you would feel? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Lorna is right you have to watch how you word things because we cannot detect the intention behind those words when we can't see your expressions. People are very sensitive and when they are down they are extra sensitive and they are already beating themselves up over their mistakes. Harmful words encourages people to feel even worse about themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Dysphoria Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 Just had a thought..... As adults we are expected to act and behave within the rules and laws of our society. This is to ensure the safety of those within our community, plus it also safegaurds us as individuals as well. We do not get praise , or a great deal of recognition for this, but yet the majority of us still continue to follow the law as we have seen that it works for the best. Those that do not stick with in these laws are punished or repremanded in some way. This happens even if they have ben a perfect citizen the rest of there lifes. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I agree but then civilised society doesn't condone the lynch mob/ self appointed moral majority stance that defines how a lot of you are choosing to behave towards me. What is so righteous and good about that? You all make out how caring and supportive you are and previously how you do not hate me but when the lynch mob is blindly putting the nose over your head phrases like 'We don't hate you' and homilies on rules/laws/ and society are decidely incongruous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 dd, You may find it helpfull to take a look at a few posts in the recovery forum regarding twisted thinking. I will not fight with you. I do not hate you, as I said earlier I simply ask that you consider your words you use here with care. I appreciate that you are in great pain but so are many other members here. You are of course allowed to be as different in your approach as you like, but by return you can not expect others to respond as you would wish at your will. A big part of BPD is finding it hard to communicate effectively with others. We will support you whilest you try to find ways that make all involved feel good but we can not tolerate abusive language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 dd, If you feel you are being unfairly treated you are free to contact a member of staff or to make a complaint. You have all the rights here that everyone else shares. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 dd please explain to me how calling somoene a screwed up fuck is supportive and i will retract my statement about you being deplorable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 and for the record i dont think you are generally an unsupportive member and i dont hate you. i just think what you said to ginny was wrong and not defendable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted February 14, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 I have to say that I appreciate the TRUE support and caring I have received over this insulting PM I received... DD - maybe you should think about taking a course in social skills training - I think it would go a long way in terms of the fact that people would stop hating the way you comunicate - you even said yourself you've been kicked off other forums... try it. Ginny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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