Soo I Fancy This Girlie

[Joshua]

Hummm

Could you explain to me what part of my response on this thread is telling you off? I simply asked for you to be mindful of the effect you post was having on fellow members of this forum. Should after being mindful you choose to do nothing is down to you.

The freedom etc etc etc etc you refer to i believe is your issue, i will therefore not respond to it. Unless i am corrected on my assumption that indeed it is not an issue for you.

P.s Can people PLEASE stop telling others in threads what the point in BPDWORLD is. Drives me wild :)

[hummm_mabbe]

Hummm

Could you explain to me what part of my response on this thread is telling you off? I simply asked for you to be mindful of the effect you post was having on fellow members of this forum. Should after being mindful you choose to do nothing is down to you.

The freedom etc etc etc etc you refer to i believe is your issue, i will therefore not respond to it. Unless i am corrected on my assumption that indeed it is not an issue for you.

P.s Can people PLEASE stop telling others in threads what the point in BPDWORLD is. Drives me wild

Ok thanks - had to ask the question. Just felt a little like I was being told to accept what was being said to me in total. Glad you dont mind how I expres myself- thank you.

Ross :)

[Joshua]

Glad you dont mind how I expres myself

Oh no no. If what you say is against the terms, of course i will mind how you express yourself. I havent really took the time to read through this whole post at yet.

There is no such thing is freedom of speech really, we are all limited by rules, law, morals.

I just asked you to be mindful.

[hummm_mabbe]

Glad you dont mind how I expres myself

Oh no no. If what you say is against the terms, of course i will mind how you express yourself. I havent really took the time to read through this whole post at yet.

There is no such thing is freedom of speech really, we are all limited by rules, law, morals.

I just asked you to be mindful.

I wont mention any politics or religion, I promise.

Can I still say twiffle? :)

[walker]

cant people stop this

cant they just say sorry

this is like the mess in my head

it hurts

[Pynn]

I know you didn't mean to offend, upset or trigger anyone. You are just being Ross. Maybe not everybody can appreciate the humour and joy of the way you post your things here, but that's ok. You can't possibly be liked by everyone. Not everyone likes me either. It's ok, because we are all individuals, we are all different and respond differently to each other.

Ross your posts all bring a smile to my face. And I know they do for many others too. I also know it's a way for you to deal with serious issues. You don't mean it to be patronising or degrading, it's just a way to make things easier to swallow, am I right?

Just trying to be somewhat intelligent here, my post could be completely off mark and weird, today I don't care! This is what I had to say.

HMOOOOGE huggles and bunny snuffles for you!

[fucktheworld]

rossiemicglossyinbunnywicfunnycuddlesandwobblesland,

nooneehatessweetieandfunnybuttiesomeyofuswomeeneeearehurteeandweeepieeandscareed

eewhenweeareeafraideetobeeeewrongeeandtoldwhereeeeusarestooopideeandinrosssieestu

deeandlibraryaliciousorfuzzyhotteetherapypissstalisciouthatweeearegooofyandnotwel

lreaditaintcuddlyandbubblilyandhurteeinthechildeeheartaabrokennanditlooksfuzzyand

wuzzyandrubbyinthetubbybutdinkinyourwinkyandrubbinyourbunnyalloverthehunniesandci

tingbignumbiesandhidinthepollyinthewarmypochieofthekangeesaintlosseytousallevente

xceptwhenwe'regrinninbeingallthatwewomenandeasytobesillinwiththeboyandhisgrinninsweeeett

eecryinandneedincuddlinandlovinandcuddlinfuzzywasssininoverhereinthisplaycornerwi

ththekittiespuppiesandfuzziewuzzzywazzywaxxxeywizzzles

[Pynn]

LOL

You rock ftw! :wub:

[hummm_mabbe]

when wee aree afraidee to beeee wrongee and told whereeee us are stooopidee and in rosssiee stu

dee and libraryalicious or fuzzy hottee therapypissstalisciou that weee are gooofy and not welll read

I have probably taken this the wrong way, but if I have put that sentence together right (which I probably havent) it sounds like you think I see you as 'not well read'. I am probably wrong - I wanted to ask if thats what you meant, that I come across as thinking you are all stupid? If thats how I seem then I am UTTERLY sorry, and want very much to change this. I have probably just got the words in the wrong order, I hope... At this point I can understand that Noor and Emma may well be perhaps rightly inclined to think this is how I am, and I also have had a conversation with wednesday, I am wondering if perhaps you are aware of it, where I got angry with her unnecessarily. I apologised to her for this, though I can imagine how hurt and angry she was and that if it was discussed it would add fuel to feelings that I am unpleasant more inclined to feel that way. I wondered - do you still think that my language comes from that pixie site you sent me the URl from? I can assure you it doesnt - its just 'me'. A prat I may be, indeed, but not that type of prat...

To all - Do you think that this is how I see the whole site? I am sorry if my langauge makes some people feel patronised. Not everyone does, so I am sorry that for some of you it seems something unpleasant, as emma said it reminded her of a past boyfriend. This is sad but I cant have known that or intended any harm.

If I share information in a way that seems insulting or patronising, then please tell me. I admit that this IS part of the problems I am working on in therapy. Being right was something that stopped me getting beaten - if I was wrong, my dad would hit me around the head - from feeling abandoned and scared (my mum raised me to be clever, and told me that as I would earn a lot I would save the family from poverty, and I believed this and have been driven by it all my life) - when I was a child and now I cling to it desperately. That is where I may become blind to the fact that I am pushing an agenda or such. This is not an excuse - its a blind spot for me that I am working to change - one of my negative aspects that come up in my personality disorder. I would choose to simply not do it, but as Im sure many people can identify with - some of these things are just automatic for me, a blind spot.

I know I have to face it to get better, it hurts to look at it, as I have so many of the less pleasant elements of my character. So in this sense, it has been useful to have this pointed out. If I say something that makes you feel stupid, then please tell me. It is never meant that way. But if I feel attacked then I am equally not going to listen to those doing the attacking, especially as most of the time I will not even realise why you are upset - I cant unless you tell me, calmly. Sometimes yes - I am simply being pig-headed and resentful, and whilst i would like to become perfect in this sense, I am not certain how likely, or healthy, this is. I may do some things to annoy or offend people, but that does not mean I am 100% bad or evil, no matter how unpleasant I may seem to you. I wont accept that label either.

If there is anything else I do that upsets people then please let me know so that I can avoid doing it in the future. I can see that my growth lies not only in overcoming depression, anxiety and feelings of being evil, but also in overcoming the more outward unpleasant things I do to others which, although they sicken me to look at, I do out of fear, paranoia and avoiding deep feelings of shame. Its extremely unpleasant to go through, but if it helps me grow then so much the better.

[Joshua]

If there is anything else I do that upsets people then please let me know so that I can avoid doing it in the future. I can see that my growth lies not only in overcoming depression, anxiety and feelings of being evil, but also in overcoming the more outward unpleasant things I do to others which, although they sicken me to look at, I do out of fear, paranoia and avoiding deep feelings of shame. Its extremely unpleasant to go through, but if it helps me grow then so much the better.

The line in this that gets me is - if there is anything else i do that upsets people let me know and i can avoid doing it in the future. Dont go changing who you are without good reason. Every single thing said by any single person will be taken a million different ways by the every single person that reads it. It comes down to our self worth and our confidence. This is something that will vary from each individual.

Personally speaking when you mention the hotter than a talibans camp fire, i see nothing wrong with this. I feel the over reaction was on the responders part but again this is just my opinion. Other may feel you over steped a line. The thing with these lines as they vary from person to person as it depends where they draw their particular line.

[yorkiegal73]

well to be quite honest i'm just fecked off that ross is looking at other girlies. did my spikes put you off sweetie? Don't you dare stop twiffling.

snuggles

yorkie

[walker]

ross - just dont change who you are

you help many of us

you have the courage to talk about things most people avoid

you have helped me, even though I am in a shitty mess right now

[Benway]

"hotter than a taliban campfire" conjours up negative images of Islam, of muslims. It upset me, and the ensuing brouhaha has upset me even more.

I felt i was'nt liked much here, now i know it.

i wounldnt mind, but i gave it my best shot, i shared experiences, tried to put myself in other ppls positions if something had happenned, i felt i was supportive towards people. Without bleating for attention all the time either.

ive had crisis and ive kept them to myself, as i dont want to be sen as an attention seeker, and i also dont want people who dont like me reading personal stuff about me.

i did at the start post personal stuff, but have not in a long while, due to the 2 reasons i just mentioned.

i didnt mean to start a big row on the forum. i just said that something upset me.

noor

[fucktheworld]

Wow thank you for taking the time to write that reply, I hear the genuine voice in your words. I actually liked the twist of the pixie language and I thought you would enjoy reading they use it in that grade school project to give kids an alternative to traditional writing and communicating methods of learning. Just an overkill sidebar of information on the language usage; my Asperger's stuff, forever stuck in the literal.

Ross don't feel hurt and offended or take it to an extreme, like you are evil. I get all wound up and play play play or get excited when I think I've got a discovery and I could help someone. I have to work every day, all day long on coming off right. I think you hit the mark more than you miss it, spot on as they say in the UK. But taking the pixie language to the initmate is too much, and why go there, when the rest is so affirming to the majority of the people here. And I mean the majority. You have a wonderful gift to get past hurt, anger, isolation, depression, loneliness, and validate, the unvalidated. And you are well read and have an enormous amount of information to give. There is so much good here maybe just understand it finally got a little much and people reacted. That's it no sweep sweep needed.

Rossiemicfriendlycuddlysoftyneverallbaddieorwrongiesweetiesmartiebrilliantwildbo

yeefunnywhohooabunnyisstillwantedandlovedandacceptedwithallhisfurrysuitsandlittle

songsandskppiesandhuggiesandwipplesandkittiesandpuppiesandblankeestocuddlewubblew

ibble

[walker]

Incidentally, some of us have struggled for decades with the 'attention seeker' label - and it cuts very very deep

Yes I seek attention - with an insatiable thirst - because deep in my heart is an empty void

I have sat here and watched while people take offence

well wa'd'ya know - now its my turn.

I beat myself up everytime I write on here, bare my soul,

but if I dont, then the pain in my head becomes unbareable

I dont bleat for attention, I am trying to stay alive

You can shut it away, I cant

sorry

[yorkiegal73]

i think sometimes it's difficult to communicate with each other because we can only use words, not facial expressions, sounds, slaps lol, so a joke can come across in the wrong way. let's not turn this whole thing into a big deal. Ross had a right to post what he did and Noor had a right to find it offensive. And we're bpd so we flare up sometimes. I've lost my temper here tons of times now. It happens. Let's move on.

[Joshua]

Can we all have an argument about petrol next as this would seem as relevant to this thread as anything else i have seen written.

Ross wanted to talk about his private parts and a certain lady he is dreaming about. Can we stay on topic please or start another thread...

This is very dis respectful to ones privates and ones imaginary dream female companion.

P.s what a topic in the first place! And people read this?

[hummm_mabbe]

Can we all have an argument about petrol next as this would seem as relevant to this thread as anything else i have seen written.

Ross wanted to talk about his private parts and a certain lady he is dreaming about. Can we stay on topic please or start another thread...

This is very dis respectful to ones privates and ones imaginary dream female companion.

P.s what a topic in the first place! And people read this?

Hahaha ok Im smilin now

I like petrol. It smells nice ^_^

[kib0ne]

I like petrol. It smells nice

iawtc

[hummm_mabbe]

I like petrol. It smells nice

iawtc

haha hey i used to work offshore on an oil platform ... if u like petrol you would LURVE the smell of crude oil. YUM.

Its not nice living out there though, not when you have undiagnosed bippidee. Its a bit like a two week trip to a prison ship. You sort of have nervous breakdowns and things.

Foods good though

Uh yeh going back to the girlie, I dont know really. I suppose right now theres so much going on, changes in therapy and sorting things through, that theres not much emotional energy left for romance. Today I was crying when I realised that I wanted so much for my sister to love me and she didnt. I wanted her to love me and she never could. I remembered a photo of us both when small, I must have been 2 and she would have been 6. I'd been crying because I hated any new situation, theres a tear on my cheek, but the photographer had got me to smile by waving a toy bunny rabbit at me (yes, bunny rabbits are a lifelong feature). In the shot I am next to my sister who is smiling at the bunny as well. Its like a picture of something that never existed, us happy over the same thing, or even happy together - but I wanted it more than anything. It hurts like hell to realise that, but until I cried I never even realised the sense of loss I had inside. Theres so much locked away in there and it feels so good to finally get it out, and I also realise that I need to keep that picture of that little Ross in my head, with the blonde hair, blue eyes, trying to smile through the tears - I need to love him, support him. He wants the anger at the world to stop, and just wants to feel held, safe. Thinking this made me start to cry. I havent cried over any of this. Ever.

So yes, maybe once this is finding a level, I can think about relationships. I dont think I would be able to see the poor girl through an objective lens right now anyway so it would not be very nice of me to expose her to nutso Rossie.

:wacko:

[emma1977]

ross women can be v difficult, i have one myself, i'm sorry if i made u feel self conscious, carry on listening to us, good luck with this girl, emma x