Missfit Posted September 15, 2008 Report Share Posted September 15, 2008 Well, my Psychiatrist today increased my Escitalopram (Cipralex) to 20mg a day, I just feel numb. I really REALLY hope they send me high though. Then he asked who diagnosed me as having BPD, so I guess I don't have that? I've never had them give definite answers, my CPN says yes it's on my notes & i'm diagnosed Bipolar, but it's not on my notes at the GP surgery, never comes up on screen. Personality Disorder is, but it says DisorderS, I asked why the S when I have ONE & he said something about it being common to have more than one. But I don't! Then at the Therapeutic Community they always ask how I know i'm BPD, I think now maybe I don't have it? And I asked about Topamax & he said it's really not good with Bipolar/Depression & something about it'll mess with my body temperature, except he wasn't on about temperature but thermostats?!?! And Lighter Life won't let me join as i'm Bipolar! What does it matter? She didn't know why not. GP said there's only one med for weight loss for depressed people & that's just been black listed. Feel like I should DIE! SO bloody upset, confused, mad. Haven't reacted in ages. Psyc said Slimming World & Weight Watchers he'd avoid as they'll make me more thingy with food. But I have to TRY. All very well saying when my Depression lifts it'll sort itself but ffs what if I have a heart attack? Let's face it i've been on Psyc meds & Depo Provera 10yrs & it hasn't lifted yet, I can't sit waiting to see what comes first, a heart attack or depression lifting. All well & good saying exercise will help, when i'm down I can't go out ffs. God i'm so depressed & upset now, got no hope left Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrD Posted September 15, 2008 Report Share Posted September 15, 2008 Hey Missy, dont give in to the fuckers, i've come to the conclusion its them and us, ya just gotta keep believing there's light at the end of the tunnel, hard to see, especially after 10 years, but prove them wrong. One day at a time, do one thing everyday that makes you feel good and one thing thats good for you, but makes you feel shit. It'll be like putting a penny in the bank everyday, you wont notice much at first, but before you know it you'll be making hay...keep your chin up, i know its hard but try and empower yourself, do something Scary! or funny! or both, just never give in your better than that i'm sure...Post me up a joke sure you can find one huntake care uDx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missfit Posted September 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2008 Aww ty, my jokes are far to rude for a nice forum tho, wouldn't want to corrupt Josh! Wish my CPN was coming tomorrow but she's not till Thursday, tomorrow i'm sposed to see the Therapeutic Community for some pre group preparation session I don't want to go to. Nice to know there's people out there who understand, I was numb before going & had been for weeks but I think i've made up for that crying since the Psyc. I'm bout ready to say sod all the mental health people, even my CPN leaves in November :{ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrD Posted September 15, 2008 Report Share Posted September 15, 2008 Still wana joke, naughtier the better, love and laughter go hand in hand, keep smiling and think 'fuk em all' humour is a good healer, ya just gota tap into it as much as ya can...best drug ya can get, and its FREE...XXXXXXXXXXXXXXD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.