Is This The Start Of An Ed?

[Stacy688]

I'm 5 ft 7 in, female, 128 lbs. I know thats not underweight, but, a month ago, I weighed 141 lbs. that wasnt overweight, but i saw myself in pictures and thought i looked disgusting, so i decided to lose 13 lbs. i've done it by eating 800-1000 cals a day, protein, fruit, vegetables and very little carbs. now that i have achieved my goal, i feel that i want to lose 7 more lbs.

i don't have typical anorexic behaviors like making myself throw up after eating or exercising like crazy, but i realise i am TOO worried about my weight, i think about it all the time (more than normal dieters), and its difficult for me not to talk about it too much with my friends. I feel theyre starting to get sick of the subject. My moms a worried and tells me that she doesnt like this restrictive diet that i've made up myself. and i'm really worried that when I start eating normally again (because i plan on doing so) i'll gain back everything i lost, because of the body being in that starvation mode thing. i'm also worried about this diet damaging my body, my organs.

oh and i do take laxatives almost everyday.

could this be the start of something wrong? should I start going to a psychologist or something? but on the other hand i don't want to stop losing weight, I want people to look at me and think wow, shes so skinny (just skinny like most of my friends, not a pile of skin and bones)

or do you think its all in my head and i'm fine?

please don't think i'm an attention seeker, im truly worried.

[Saharah Blue]

The excessive dieting I wouldn't be too concerned about at this stage. The daily laxative use yes.

You may find your body will want to maintain a certain weight of its own. When you start fighting that, take stock of how you feel, can you accept it? or does it throw you into distress and feeling of needing to prove your body wrong?

Also, since you do plan on going back to a less restrictive diet at some point, how are planning to maintain your weight loss? Exercise? How much weight are you okay with gaining back, Any?

Will you be able to sit with any of this or is it spiraling in your head to just keep doing it this way and you'll be okay? Just a few things to think about. With that said, there are so many that find it rules their lives, and they can't control it, leaving them terribly conflicted and torn.

Sah

*personally, I have been told by numerous people I have some sort of ED, but frankly I don't care and I don't plan on changing a thing, I am not unhappy or concerned. I eat when I feel like, purge when I feel like, and I like my body, even with its imperfections.