So Very Very Angry

[mrD]

Hear Hear Mrs T

There's enough conflict in the world, some of which has put us here...

so lets spread some forgiveness, love and kindness, and let the hurt go..

Dx

[flowergirl]

As could be said for you in most instances also sundries. How we like a good battle!!!

In regard to the original topic -

Maybe the teacher was showing concern, and it was misinterpretted as a threat. She is looking out for the people that she has, covering her ass so to speak. Also maybe she was concerned for you "is this going to be a problem".

Its good that you told her that you have counselling and bpd issues, shows your honesty, but also if you are not well, particularly affected by certain issues, she could be supportive.

You opened the door to her by telling her in the first place, anger at her isnt going to help you feel comfortable in the workplace now, maybe ask to speak when the time is appropriate, and ask her how she sees you doing, if she has concerns etc, and try and allay any misconceptions that she has.

Personally I think if you are unstable, then being around children isnt a good idea, as has been mentioned, children are like sponges. However if you are well on the road to recovery, then you are likely to be one of the most attentive guides they shall have, having suffered and healed and having hindsight is a wonderful gift to give.

Wishing you luck and peace xxx

[sunshine_bear]

God I am so bored of this post and someone thinking she is right al the time, yet by passing the posts that clearly shows she is wrong.

Joy if you need help we will support and help you, if you want to cause trouble then please leave the site because none of us can be arsed!

[D.Ash]

To my BPD Brothers and Sisters...

I have so desperately tried to stay away from entering into this argument. It pains me so much to see the hurt and rancour it has created on this site. I have made so many friends here... lovely, lovely people who are battling thru their respective trauma and afflictions with hope and love... who despite their own frustrations in life come together and support each other... who have the courage to come forward and share the negative feelings and views on the stigma we all face in the outside world, and in doing so, recieve back some of the love they have spread, and allow us to air our own frustrations at the stigma attached to our conditions...

To get back to the whole point of this thread... Loopy, my sweet. I have only known you a few weeks on these boards, and thru your posts and support in Chat, you have proven to be a wonderful, caring and intelligent human being that I have no doubt in my mind for an instant - that you are a nurturing, intuitive and loving Mother and a true walking angel. I have no doubt in my mind at all that you really are capable of achieving anything you set your mind to, and that you constantly strive to better yourself and your children's lives despite the stigma and MH issues that life has dealt you. When you smile, when you inspire the people around you smile, it means so much more to me knowing the extra struggles we have to go thru to maintain that level. Yet at that level, we truly see what a shining, giving person you are.

Loops, I am hurt and even a little disgusted that YOUR thread has become this minefield of irrelevant opinion. I want you to know that I am here for you sister, and really really appreciate the strength and support you showed me in chat last night... I am still bowled over at how you were able to sweep aside any personal feelings and rush in there to give he a hug and a kind ear over an issue that was primarily affecting you.

Thank you Loopy, am always here for you too. You always inspire a smile from me, hun.

I choose not to be baited into the pathetic and angry posts that have cruelly hijacked a friend's plea for understanding and support. I am BPD and am aware that if I allow myself to open that floodgate... well, there will be blood, let's leave it at that. I do however, feel compelled to add that on an MH site it is not unreasonable to assume that love and support, not stigma and spite, are the main orders of the day in a post such as this. There is so much prejudice in this country against MH issues, it really, really burns me up that we have to put up with it here, in a thread completely unrelated to thus.

In conclusion, I would just like to add 2 things.

Number one - I am reminded of an old Doaist saying - "If you must argue, remember it is impossible to defeat the ignorant in argument". Those of you who know me, will know what I am getting at here.

Number two - I would like to use this part of the thread to spread some much needed peace, love, mutual respect and understanding amongst all my BPD brothers and sisters. Loops, Sun, Bear, Flower, Walker, D, Fairy and the rest, all my love to all today. We have so much more pressing challenges today without the rancour and fallout of this thread to contend with. One time... just for me, yeh?!

All my love, your BPD Bruv

Keep hope alive!-Dx

ps Joy, I am glad to see you are making so many friends here on this site. Your openness and honesty in expressing your opinion has revealed much about you, and am sure that it will see you well into the future you are creating for yourself.

[masterdebater]

What I read in your lengthy and wordy post, is you're hiding your head is some kind of peverbial convenient hole of denial where children aren't failing miserably, parents aren't fumbling along in their dysfunctionality and teachers aren't the mediocre hired help trained to train children en masse with erroneous textbooks as their guides with bad behavior ruling the schools, violence in and out of the classrooms, the learning that matters goes on in the shcoolyards and in the bathrooms. The educational system is a joke. A cruel one on the backs of children and it's people like you who hide their heads and kvell about the *merits* of these instittutions just perpetuate and deepen the problems with their glazed over stances of *everything is fine.* Fuck that. And fuck that BS realtiy you want other people to join you in believing. I'm watching the news with Columbine shootings, teachers raping and shootouts in Finland. I'm keeping my fingers on the pulse of the children killing themselves because of bullying, unfair grades and the pervasive cruelty that exists in peer groups and the impotency of faculty to overcome their own fragile selves and just do what they're paid to do - EDUCATE. Seems to be too much to ask these days.

I think you need to re-read my post about people who have unHEALED issues with anger, self-control, depression, self-hate and any other trait including unpredictability and inconsistency which are KEY to being a quality teacher/caretaker. People with Borderdeline Personality Disorder have issues. Major ones. Ones that children need not be subjected to. And anyone who would intentionally put a child in potential harm - vicariously through ROOTING for the BPD educator or directly via *it's my job* - needs to be held DIRECTLY responsible for any negative consequences resulting from their interaction with the child. And how is anyone with a mental illness able to work with children in the educational system at all? Are there no admission criteria for teachers? No background checks? Health records of a teacher need to be made available to administration.

The sad testimony about those that work in the educational system today is that anyone with a passable grade average can call themselves a *teacher*. Forget their health, their demeanor, their history. That people with perversions, damaged souls and minds, ulterior motives, - anything and everything under the sun BUT instructing children are forming impressionable minds. All one has to for *proof* is look at the children themselves - today and in 10 years down the line. Go seek out for yourself the studies done on test results - reading comprehension, social and life skills, math aptitude - a joke. Black and white thinking? Oh yes. Black - the system is dysfunction and white - look to blind leading the blind.

The teachers can't teach, the children can't learn, the parents can't parent and those clucking their tongues hide their heads in the sand mumbling *how dare you speak out* on these issues. And you have *rigid* thinking. *Black and white* thinking. Whatever. Totally whatever. In one ear and out the other. I'm counting the bodies right now. I'm watching the stats and I know the score about how ultimately it's always the bottom line. And it ain't EVER about the truth.

j

What you decided to deduce from my post doesn't surprise me, as you are obviously becoming further unhinged and I wouldn't have been surprised to have found you accusing me of being Martin Bryants accomplice.

The education system here in Australia is certainly flawed but your simplistic and quite frankly bizarre argument that teachers and others involved in the education/support/mentoring of children are deserving of all your vile accusations is ludicrous.Never mind counting bodies,mate,I suggest you count your tablets..when was the last time you took your meds?

There are many degrees of the symptoms you mentioned.Depression,anger,self-hate etc.Millions of people suffer from all these symptoms in varying degrees without suffering from mental illness.Where's your cut-off point,Joy? Or are you going to stay twisted and bitter until the day Jesus Christ comes back to Earth..I mean-what's your game plan for the world? Have JC cloned and then every school can have it's Own Personal Jesus? None of those symptoms are BPD exclusive and not every person with BPD suffers from all of them.Not every person with BPD has these symptoms to such a degree that it would affect their ability to teach or caretake.We are not the sum total of our disorders.Human beings,BPD or not,are all unique and must be considered as such.

I think you are trying to put a twist on your attacks.The original poster doesn't bash,rape or torture her pupils.She's not out there fucking with their heads.She felt devestated that her credibility was damaged after revealing her disorder to her superior.Then you waded in, all spit and spite.What the hell did anything you posted have to do with that poor bugger? As if she wan't feeling bad enough, she copped your bilious torrent of slander.As did others who tried to defend her,themselves and others who work with kids and who happen to have a mental illness.

I work with children who are having major problems at school- due mainly to problems at home.

Aboriginal kids putting up with all kinds of shit at home-drugs,alcohol,poverty,domestic violence,etc. These kids are at huge risk.Many start drinking,fighting,drugging,stealing out of frustration and depair.Teachers aren't gods- there is only so much they can do. Where I come in, in this instance, is by taking these kids out of the classroom for a few hours a week each and letting them vent.

They get to express themselves in a creative,positive way. No judgements,no reprisals. I encourage them,praise them and assist them with developing artistic skills that not only give them a sense of pride,but in many cases a purpose- a goal. It is unbelievable how many talented women and kids I have had as clients who didn't even realise they had a gift.

Especially the women- I had aboriginal ladies who had never picked up a pencil or brush in their lives.They were too insecure and self conscious. Well, 4 of those ladies went on to study art at University& TAFE after 12 months with me, 3 went on to win National Indigenous Art Awards. Some of the other women I worked with went on to study in other fields and yet others went and got jobs.

I have a young teenaged girl who has been out of school 12months.She left after engaging in sexual behaviour with several boys several years older than her.Her sense of shame and guilt has made it impossible for her to go back and face her peers. So she has a team of tutors who work with her at reading,maths etc. I not only give her art classes,I talk with her,encourage her and try to help her see that one mistake she made does not define who she is,try to build her confidence up gently.I have her keep a visual diary of her poems,thoughts,musings and artwork.At the end of the year I am going to have her drawings poetry etc published by a 'self publishing company', just one copy for herself. She sees herself as a little 'sl*t'. I'm trying to help her see herself as what she really is- a talented,sweet,beautiful girl who made a mistake.

I certainly don't pontificate on the merits of any institution- most have their flaws. I do try,however, to avoid polarized thinking.Madonna/Whore attitudes.

It is hateful and spiteful opinions like yours that help perpetuate the belief that those who are suffering from, or have suffered from BPD or other illnesses are intrinsically evil.And beyond repair.

I don't need to go find any *proof* that I am suitable to work with people,kids included.The proof is in the pudding.Kids running up to say G'day in the street.Smiling,joking,yabbering away.

It's in the kids smiles when they proudly pull out their most recent drawing.It's in the changes I see take place week after week as the kids open up, gain confidence and relax.Knowing there is somebody who understands what they are going through and give a damn. I believe it is also evident in the women I have worked with- the phonecalls I regularly get from them,the requests to work more often at the Group,the invitations to birthdays,Xmas parties I get. The fact that when I invite them to my home for a BBQ I have 15+ turn up with their kids and husbands in tow.

You have attacked people on this forum- I believe not through any horrible torture you copped when you were in school, but because you have such a low opinion of yourself and your own abilities (or rather,lack of). I believe you see yourself as untrustworthy and dangerous to kids and you are transferring this onto others here.Maybe there's a dollop of jealousy there. Perhaps you don't ever see yourself as being recovered/stable enough to be entrusted with kids.And just maybe you don't see that you'll ever have anything to offer anybody else. But going by what i have read on these forums there are many here who DO have alot to offer.Talented,caring empathic people who don't want to sit in front of the News,gnawing their fingernails to the quick,obsessing on how evil,hopeless and fucked up the world is.

They are obviously working hard at recovery and I wish them all the best. I say obviously, because out of all the posts I read YOU are the only one displaying extreme 'BPD traits'.I have not seen anybody else come out with wild,ridiculous,histrionic statements,they have tried to talk reason with you and have remained calm and polite! I only had about 4 hours sleep last night as I was up with my son, who had an earache- so I probably haven't been overly polite in this post.

I want to reiterate..I hope you get better.I believe I read somewhere that you cannot afford therapy etc and that sucks.So I understand that it must be horribly hard, and I honestly hope you are able to get the help we all need and deserve. I hope one day you get to feel the satisfaction and joy that comes from battling through a hard life and getting to the point where you are able to share your wisdom,love and strength with others.Good luck to you.