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Photos, Self Image And Safety


Katherine

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I put it here because it has been a cause of anxiety for me.

I want to thank Josh for putting in that post about photos on the net and safety.

Frankly, I haven't wanted to post my photo because I didn't feel safe to do so. But I was prepared to do so because other people were and I didn't want to feel left out. I was even going to go down the main library today or tomorrow to use thee scanner and try to fix it because I can't do anything from my laptop with no scanner and the pic I have won't attach.

(Thank God)

Additionally, because of my past experience of being bullied-as a pupil and teacher in school/s, where my appearance was the main focus of the bullying, I feel really sensitive about people seeing what I look like. (especially people who I see as friends, but who may no longer like me if they see what I look like..)

I may not be that 'ugly', but my teeth are still not straight even after aeons of physical and emotional orthodontic pain as a teenager, my face is small and childlike, everyone says I look younger than I am despite the white hairs amongst my mainly brown hair...,hair which is shoulder length, wavy and 'unstyled', and I'm very thin.

Sad...

I WANT to look my age and be pretty and attractive. But, more than that I want to be accepted for who I am at the heart of me, perhaps that is one reason I tried to hang onto my therapy training even when it was hurting me so much---to have the sense that I might be able to be valued for what I had to give, from deep inside me, when the outside appearance is 'nothing to write home about'...

Seriously I have been very anxious about the photo thing, I respect people's bravery and strength in posting their photos, I also appreciate Josh's protection of us.

feeling weepy now, but I am ok, I needed to post about these feelings...

karie

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No, you have said nothing out of order - I am sure no one would want you to post your picture if it makes you feel uncomfortable, and I am also sure seeing your picture would not change our high opinion of you,

Chimpy xxx

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You must do only what you feel comfortable with. If it doesn't feel right then don't post it, but no one here is going to judge you on appearances. and I am sure that you look fine, don't worry! (it's hard not to though)...

:D

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I get paranoid bout photos and i hate how i look so i dont want anyone to see mine either!

Its good if you feel happy to post photos but as with all things everyone has their own opnion and views and its their choice and others should respect it! (not saying that anyone here hasent respected others i meant generally in life)

Tory

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thanks....*sniff*....still feeling shaken after therapy today, discussing the further on issues of this in depth.....too personal to post here in detail----

re never having had a Relationship,how I've denied and attacked my sexuality, how I was never taught by my parents how to be a woman etc....I feel sad and angry, I feel like I'm about 13 with the things I need to learn how to do, but I'm 35 next month...I probably look about 13 too...

I'm also interested in a curious kind of way how people who don't usually respond to my posts have responded to this one....

Thanks for the validation and support....

karie

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Therapy is always hard - I understand y u dont want to post a picture of ureself and all the feelings around that.

All I can do is well second what everyone else says and do what makes u comfortable thats the only rule with these boards I suppose - and that is what makes us in control and not those that have made us feel uncomfortable.

Take care

xxxx

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kari - I would NEVER change my opinion of you based on your looks.... and I would be disgusted if anyone else did....

If you feel better not posting a pic, fair enough, I respect you for that. But, dont think of us as those bullies at high school (I remember that too) we love you for who you are and your kind and sensitive nature... to us you are gorgeous anyway.. :wub:

Ginny :bigarmhug[1]:

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