Posting Numbers

[dixie]

Hi all

I have been having a big problem replying to some posts on this board because of the use of numbers and weights etc.

I don't know about other ED sufferers but I personally find the use of weights, BMI's, calorific intake etc in a post really triggering. I know the use of it here is nothing like in pro-ana websites or things like that and is just about sharing current worries etc, but any mention of weight and BMI will bring about competitiveness and guilt in me.

My biggest issue with it other than triggering me is that I cannot reply to posts once I have spotted a number. I have suffered ED for a long time and studied it for almost as long and feel like there is a lot of support I could provide....

Does anyone else feel this way?

Would it be possible to have a filter or a spoiler or something so that numbers are only read if the reader is safe enough to read them?

Just to clarify this isn't me having a go whatsoever, I'm just raising my concerns.

Love

Dixie

[Loopyfruit]

I totally agree with dixie...it triggers me alot too and again brings up the same feelings of guilt and competitiveness and I think it can be very detrimental to anyone with an Eating disorder at any stage of recovery.

I have suffered with an ED for 10 yrs and have good patches and bad patches but I think that even in a good patch reading specifics about someone elses weight and calories is very triggering.

what do others think?

loopy x

[Lily-Bee]

I have raised this issue with Josh he will probably get back to me about it.

Lilly

[nuclearwinter]

I agree with you all (although I have been guilty of posting weight and calories etc). I find myself very triggered by mention of low body weights and start feeling like crap. From now on I won't post weights or calories etc.

nuclearwinter x

[Joshua]

I feel there is no need to get back to anyone. This is the best possible solution(Informing others of your concerns), Well done dixie for posting and sharing your concerns.

[dixie]

Thank you Josh and for those of you who have agreed with me.

Josh can I ask then, doe this mean me and any other members can read a post and flag it up for a mini-mod to invisible if they use numbers andsimilar triggers?

I don't expect hundreds of replies but there are a number of posters on the ED forums and just a few replies, 2 of which are from Mods about the content and not agreeing or disputing it. And before long this post will be forgotten.

Will thre be another method to stop the use of triggers in this board?

Dixie

[Loopyfruit]

I agree with dixie and I am a bit confused by Josh's reply...Josh are you agreeing that numbers should not be posted as they are triggering or that it is down to the individual to make that decision for themselves?? If it is agreed that numbers are triggering and not allowed will this be added to the top of the forum or in the rules?? I do think that like ( and quite rightly ) posts about active self harm are not allowed then posts about how little people weigh or calorie intalke should be treated the same??

loopy x

[Lily-Bee]

Josh can correct me if I am wrong but I believe he means he is not going to change any rules here that he thinks its best if you guys find a way to deal with it among yourselves and a good way to do that is share concerns and talk it through.

Lilly

[dixie]

But should that not mean that the rules around talking about SH should be changed to match those of ED?

Afterall, for ED sufferers we're talking about triggers no different than graphically discribing methods and giving hints to ppl.

[yorkiegal73]

thanks for posting this dixie. i think a stickie at the top of the board would help to remind people not to discuss weights, bmi's or to list the type of foods they are bingeing on, or at least to put a trigger warning on the post. After all, there are rules about talking about self harm. An ED is self harm in the same way that cutting is.

[Joshua]

Hi

Im sorry if i wasnt clear, and thanks Lilly as it seems you have caught on to what i have tried to say.

Dixie i think you posting how numbers affects you and maybe some others here was a great thing to do. I dont know if we need to continously add to the rules every time something triggering etc happens but better to do as you have done and discuss it with the community and come to a mutual resolution.

[dixie]

So can we make this post a sticky or something similar as a sticky?

What happens in a few weeks when this post is a few down the board and someone posts something just as triggering as the one which prompted me to raise this?

I'm quite upset that something as serious as a trigger to an ED seems not to be being taken as seriously as other mental health problems.

[Faerielight]

i think it will be hard for some people not to post about weight.. afterall its a general ed forum, its not split off into anorexia, bulimia, binge eating sub forums therefore some people might feel the need to post numbers as they may have diff ed issies or type of ed.. i reccon its better for the poster to put 2trigger2 berore their post and if peeps see that then they have a choice as to whether or not to read it.

hope that makes sense.. i would like to see subforums vos ed is a broad category.

for me i awitch beteween anorexia, bulimia and binge eating so if ive put on loads of weight through binging and lost some i d like to think i could post about it. likewise atm im striuggling with anorexia so would like to post if im worried ive dropped too low, but i will put a trigger if i do post...

hugws faerie x

[Joshua]

Hi

Its not about eating disorders being taken less seriously than any other mental illness as they are very serious indeed. Its more about the member population agreeing between themselves and working through things rather than me making a never ending set of controls and demands of this community.

[Faerielight]

i agrree with josh.. we should be able to post whats bothering us here.. but out of respect, as you've flagged it up as a trigger, we could put "trigger" before our post so people likely to feel triggered dont read it.. just like if its in another mh section about abuse etc.. therte are pro recovery ed sites out there that have particular rules about stuff like that which may be helpfull to you.. im not saying at all dont post here but this one part of the bpd subforums and what i love about here is we can post stuff that is bothering us.. as long as its not insulting i think it works well here as a free place to talk

[Faerielight]

i was justy gonna add i think its highly likely lost of us here seeing s we have bpd, will find the odd post triggering.. i think its inevitable.. sometimes i cant reply to certain posts cos it triggers me but i if i see something i cant handle i try not to read it all, i find some of the sh posts are really hard for me but i know its my own stuff im struggling with.

ive often got pms form people saying my posts have triggered them.. its hard on a forum when we've got bpd therefore complex multiple issues..

i hope i havent saId anything crap.. im just trying to suggest the trigger thing at the beg.

hugs faerie x

[dixie]

Faerielight

I understand that there are different types of ED's but no matter where I am with my ED I have found numbers triggering. When I read that someone is a lower BMI, less weight... it triggers, I want to strive towards that. It is easy to say I have dropped more weight, does others knowing how much we weigh actually help us with the issue we are venting or asking for support on?

Josh I never actually asked for a change in the rules, I asked if we could filter/spoiler or have a sticky. It doesn't mean you have to change the rules, I'm personally asking if others can be mindful of what they share and perhaps think about if it may trigger them. That doesn't require more than 1 post. And it would be much safer for ALL ED sufferers.

[Rael]

could it not be a sticky as a guideline, as new members may not be aware that posting numbers etc could be triggering it could be recommended that they try not to do this but if they feel they have to then label the post as triggering but put 'triggering number' so that the reader is aware and can avoid it.

it could help members as well to be aware that including numbers could cause people to be triggered and be unable to reply and so they may be able to get more support from people if they are able to post without them.

i dont think that what is being requested is a rule change, merely a way of making people aware. si is quite obviously likely to be triggering, i would think most people would realize that, but putting your weight may not be something that a lot of people would see as potentially triggering somebody.

just as a sticky it wouldnt hurt to remind people to be aware that what they see as harmless, could seriously trigger someone else.

hugs

xxx

[Joshua]

We all have a duty to ourselves and others on this forum. Should something upset you then of cause discuss it with other members of the community and hopefully the issue will become resolved. Should something not become resolved at a member stage then you may report the post and a staff member will look at it for you. This obviously does not mean we will always take action.

[Rael]

i think the hope is to protect ourselves before it gets to the stage of having triggered someone, if they are aware it could trigger then there would be no problem in the first place and no one would be hurt or triggered.

xxx

[Loopyfruit]

I still very much agree with dixie and Rael...whilst I think it is really important for people to be able to post freely and be able to say how they are feeling and the issues they are dealing with and the way their eating and weight issues are affecting them...but numbers and bmi and calories make absolutley no difference to how others can support and help them as other than words of support and care nobody can force someone to eat or not to eat and being given actual numbers and calories etc has the effect on others with ED's to feel less worthy if they are weighing more or conversly can trigger feelings of doing better than someone else if they weigh less. I know that none of these are rational or helpful responses but unfortunatley they are the nature of eating disorders and BPD and ultimatley someone saying that their bmi is very low and they are still going to restrict IS potentially iminantly fatal and is no different to active SH in my eyes and IS very triggering and not helpful to the person posting or to the people who want to help...

Rule changing is not needed but I why can't this thread be pinned at the beginning of the subforum so that new members know the concerns of other users of the site before they post something potentially damaging to themselves and others

loopy

[dixie]

Just to add that the most successful, supportive, WORLD-WIDE website for eating disorder recovery support does not use any numbers at all. Their numbers become stars so you cannot see what has been written.

The users of the forum manage to seek the same support we do here, just without saying what their weight is.

Plus the idea of recovery is taking the focus off weight..... so surely the challenge of posting things that a) don't mention weight and don't trigger others is good.

Or is pro-ana allowed on here?

[Joshua]

Or is pro-ana allowed on here?

Now im sorry but i feel thats going to far, i think i have been very clear on where i stand here. People will be triggered by the very nature of these forums and although i agree there is some occasions where a trigger warning is helpful i also think its equally important to remember we can not avoid everything that triggers us and therefore we must learn stratergies to manage the feelings triggered by certain issues.

Should you feel there is a world wide website that offers you everything you look for then i would recommend the use of it for the discussion of any relevant issues you may wish to discuss. This is of course your choice.

This forum deals with a variety of issues and every forum has its own way of working.

[Faerielight]

im sorry dixie if u interpreted what i said as saying this should be pro ana .. i hope not anyway.. i hear your concerns.. my personal view is that some suggestions here are a good idea.. such as pinning a note for newbees that some peeps may be triggered about weights etc and i think that if peeps put a trigger on if they are gonna post then peeps that dont want to read that thread dont have to.

i personally feel because my weight fluctuates dramatically i sometimes need to say if ive lost or gained.. and i dont want to go on a pro ana website to do that cos i want to recover.. thats just me anyway. and psyc meds can cause distress with weight gain which is soething a lot off peeps have posted about here over the years.

im sorry.. this has obviously upset you. faerie x

[Aamanee]

I dont see the problems with numbers in post for my self , but for others i do understand why there should not be numbers as peoples triggers are different for different people

so i agree with dixie