ktodee_27 Posted February 19, 2005 Report Share Posted February 19, 2005 My moods changed so much today that it is unreal. Like 4 or 5 mood switches from up and down, numb, and then hyper like a 3 year old. I let my 3 year old inner child come out in the unspoken words forum which I don't know if it was too good of an idea, but I just felt as if I had to after the numb dissociative feeling had passed and my mood went shooting up. It really doesn't happen too often where I let my inner child come out like that but there was just a huge urge to let her loose tonight and babble on and it felt better. I numb out at other points in my day too and not during my preferred hours of wake time. I've had lots of the ptsd issues come back up since the gossip in town about me and someone else being together has come up and the way that people yell at me out of their cars sometimes when I'm walking. All the crap is coming up to the top! I swear!! My boyfriend is still gone too and yes he has to get better, yet its hard on the both of us. I visit him, but it just doesn't seem like enough. I don't know what's going on anymore if I'm going to the city or not. If I really want to make the decision to go since my boyfriend is back here. I can't stick to one thing and it never works like that for me. I'm trying to stick to my religion and it's just not working and i feel guilty inside about it. And, I need God in my life. I am such a wreck and don't know where I'm going or what would be the better move anymore. I had 3 good days and now I'm bottoming out and swinging back up like a pendulum. More less, a freakin yo yo. I wish someone could just give me a good kick in my ass and kick it all out of me right now- all the illness and put some sense in me and make me who I was 7 years ago at least when I was working a good job and had a life which went smooth for awhile at 18 before I ended up here in the system. Something always happens and I feel as if I will never get better inside and they can do all they want but I just wont get the knack of it ever since my brain can't process stuff correctly enough to let it all soak in and recover!! :angry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted February 19, 2005 Report Share Posted February 19, 2005 (((((k)))))) your dealing with a lot right now. I think it would make even the healthiest feel the strain. try to remember that hun and cut yourself some slack. I know your partner is unwell at the momment, but you really do need to find the emotional time left over to take care of you. xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted February 19, 2005 Report Share Posted February 19, 2005 please be careful with yourself and try and do no harm. things go like this from time to time and it will get better again. bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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