janey Posted December 6, 2008 Report Share Posted December 6, 2008 well... last night really.on my own. husband out with band doing a gig. always the same at weeknds. me sitting here alone, stressing, worried, panicking about abandonment.so i'm texting, in between writing down childhood mems and trying to read a workbook on schema therapy. i get one text back to say he arrived at around 5.30pm, and another to say that sorry but the reception in the building is bad. time ticks by... waiting, waiting...i HATE this.midnight. still no texts. mine are controlled, but frantic now... the usual shit. has he finished yet, why hasn't he replied etc etc.1.30am... text comes thru "just leaving". i'm, like, "why have you ignorned my texts all night?" ... no reply... i guess he's on the road. so i start to worry bout his journey home...by 2am i'm well, well wound up like a coiled spring ready to snap.2.45am he comes in, by which time i'm at bursting point, lying in the dark.he creeps in and puts his arm around me. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!! YOU'VE IGNORED ME ALL NIGHT AND NOW UR ASKING IF I'M OK!!!""it's ok, it's ok" he whispers. "go to sleep..." (GO TO SLEEP!!!!!?)"IT'S FUCKING WELL NOT OK!!" I yell, sobbing at this point.the same thing will happen tomorrow night. it's the same every weekend.he's out again tomorrow.I HATE FEELING ABANDONED.the more i try to get through this and work on my feelings, the worse i'm getting. it won't go away if i'm trying to work through it. it has to come out. HOW DO WE SURVIVE WHEN IT'S COMING TO THE SURFACE?!my parents aren't talking to me for some reason. my 16 year old is being a nightmare and i'm trying so hard to understand, my brother hasn't spoken to me for TWO years, i have no friends, i think my husband is at the end of his tether.WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?i needed to write.janey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.