Should A Pm Stay Private

[DaddyJay]

Indeed I agree with Fairy. I wasn't going to participate in this thread but after what was said to Amy I felt it necessary to add my view.

Amy has a right to express her opinion, as does everyone. Even if it is having a little moan about something, there is no harm in it. I don't think for one minute anyone is looking for a row, it is just a debate. Debates happen in our society, it's a way to hear everyones views. I think it is a shame that Amy is being targeted for showing concern about this matter.

[Joshua]

This is also something i find interesting. At times where we and by we i mean this system and some of the member population disagree its Our community but at times when it comes to funding our community it becomes my burden, also when there have been attempts by us (the system) to gain the support and time for members in completing certain tasks its not seen as something the community should have to do.

Points have been raised about the hypocrisy of it all, well could it not be seen the other way also?

Interests me to, how the member population seems to have the right to freedom of speech with little regard of the effects of this on fellow community members but the staff (who are volunteers) are all required by the community to be gods who do nothing wrong and are here at the beck and call of some members.

I must stress this doesnot, once again, apply to all members but indeed it does for some.

[Fairy]

I agree Josh, it isn't right at all.

I myself have as you know, given a lot of financial support to this forum and also my time. Yet I am expected not to have views. Other people have also become an integral part of this community, only to be verbally abused when expressing opinions. It isn't right at all.

Fairy xxx

[x.glitter_raindrops.x]

Been readint he thread for a bit.

thought id leave it to ppl who have the issues and opinions (which there is nothing wrong with)

but its hard seeing all this arguin

first about the whole ethical stuff

and then this

and also nasty pms

I am still relativly new

but this seems to me to only be a rcent thing.

My frist impressions were a suppoirtive community

lets keep it like that??

all opinions are valid

but we dont need to be sniping

Josh is right, it is in the T + Cs

I guess it may be seen as a hinderence to some that Pms are being read, but like poepl have said, Msn will do the trick too

I think we're all really great people on the board

while some things that Josh does may be being questioned right now,

he has set out with the right intentions

and ya know what, without him I would have no refuge....

I know alot of us may have read his book, try to remmember why he satrted this in the first place

lets stick together as a community, yeah..

xXx

Ps id like to say thanks to all Josh especially, hes been a big help setting up this site.

and to Crip, Rael and all of the others who help me so often,

your all great

chill

x

Pps Soz bout spelling Lager and me spelling proper dont always go well x

[Crackers]

Been readint he thread for a bit.

thought id leave it to ppl who have the issues and opinions (which there is nothing wrong with)

but its hard seeing all this arguin

first about the whole ethical stuff

and then this

and also nasty pms

I am still relativly new

but this seems to me to only be a rcent thing.

My frist impressions were a suppoirtive community

lets keep it like that??

all opinions are valid

but we dont need to be sniping

Josh is right, it is in the T + Cs

I guess it may be seen as a hinderence to some that Pms are being read, but like poepl have said, Msn will do the trick too

I think we're all really great people on the board

while some things that Josh does may be being questioned right now,

he has set out with the right intentions

and ya know what, without him I would have no refuge....

I know alot of us may have read his book, try to remmember why he satrted this in the first place

lets stick together as a community, yeah..

xXx

Well said.

I completely agree with you.

[x.glitter_raindrops.x]

I hope we can all move on from this and get back to the business at hand

helping eachother through the shizz that we call the outside world

we're all here becasue we have something in common

but were also all beautiful people at heart

lest put it to good use.

and give eachother a brweak

love to all

x

[amy123]

i would like to thanks those who reminded me of how shit my life is right now.....

i hope you are happy with yourself,

Thanks a bunch just what i wanted to hear.

Goodbye.

[Cynic]

Amy when you have so much going on in your life, with your daughter, your father etc, why is this such a big deal?

That's bang out of order! Amy has as much right to express herself as anyone else and you should be ashamed of yourself for such a snide comment. She's had a hard enough time lately without crass jibes like that. :angry:

[x.glitter_raindrops.x]

I agree that its not fair to have things like that said

we dont need reminding on here tht our lives suck

we need supporting

whether i agree with opiniopns made or not,

we dont need to make comments like tht

just because we have shit happenin doesnt mean we cant express our opinion

x

[Fairy]

Well said indeed.

[Missfit]

Wow I didn't know PM's were read, but while I don't necessarily agree with it, i'm also not a mental health expert & am not aware of things that could go on in PM's so it is no doubt beneficial to us all. I think any of mine are pretty boring anyways but it's good to know that the staff & Josh care about peoples safety here & are looking out for that!

[gun_747]

Hey guys,

I only just came across this topic there now. I don't send many PMs as I already was aware of senior levels of staff had access to them and hence I agreed to this being done when I signed up for the forum. But I will raise two things:

1. its not an argument nor a chance for some on here to brown nose the leaders of the forum but blankly agreeing with staff just because they believe it will gain them favour. People are entitled to debate a point or wreath of points on what they think or believe and Josh does encourage such debate...hence why he permits an open topic on it and allows views to be expressed

2. more importantly, never have I been more disgusted than to see stuff being hurled at amy - a member of the peer support team (and given the title implies that amy in the past has contributed to the board in terms of her own time to help other members and support them). She doesn't need people callously hurling her own crisis posts in her face in a devious manner to shut her up.

What I'm more surprised at is that the staff are content to talk vigorously about rights and obligations and looking at PM's which is okay in my opinion, and yet here on this very forum a disgraceful harrassment to a peer support worker has actually occured and no one from a member of staff has commented on it, tried to address it...nothing.

[Fairy]

I agree, also staff not remaining on topic at all. Amy was asked to make another thread, which she did, only to have it hijacked by staff. I don't understand this at all. This thread was about PM's nothing else.

Freedom of staff speech and financial obligations have nothing to do with this. I know I commented on it too, it isn't that I disagree, I just think it is off topic, or unfair to the orginal poster. As are personal attacks as to why someone may have forum issues. I guess the staff issues maybe belong on the notice board thread.

Fairy xxx

[bibiddi]

i always thought a PM means private,i now believe that senior staff can read our PM's.

i'm also worried to send PM's now.

Ok, to bring this back to Amys first post, I've just quoted it.

Amy thought something, which she found to be incorrect (sorry to talk about you in the third person Amy).

The terms and conditions are there to read when you sign up, the link is there on every page.

Its an individuals choice to read them or not.

I understand that it may feel a bit worrying that what you assumed, turns out not to be true.

But what is it you are angry at?

It was your choice not to read the T&C's.

I'm on various other forums (non of which are mental health related, and all have it that staff can read the pms).

I don't know whats going on for you at the moment Amy, but I am worried that focusing on things like this detracts from the fact that you are in distress.

Amy, please look after yourself.

[amy123]

i was asked to start a new thread by JOSH cos i didn't understand WHY staff read our PM's,where's the harm in asking WHY they are read?but i was reminded of how crap my life is on this thread if you READ it,

in my opinion i think JOSH encouraged me to start this thread cos he wants an argument.

Amy.

[CuriosityCat]

I wasn't gonna get involved here but I just have to express my concern that someone's personal issues are brought up in such an inflammatory manner which would obviously cause hurt and distress

Amy's question about PM's was valid and she just doesn't deserve to be treated this way, she provides a lot of support on this forum and is entitled to voice her opinion without fear of personal issues being used in such a manner.

I hope that staff will take appropriate action to deal with this

[bibiddi]

I do think it was worded badly, but it is possible the intent was honourable.

I cant remember the proper phrase. But what often happens to almost everyone at sometime or other is when you're in an emotional state and its difficult to address directly, the emotions get misdirected.

Kind of like someone gets yelled at by their boss, comes home and gets all grumpy with their OH, because they cant yell back at their boss.

We've all done something similar - I know I have.

It may be possible that Daisy was trying to show that it looked like some kind of misdirection is going on.

Anyway, I'm seeing a lot anger and assumptions being made. I'm finding it almost impossible to follow peoples train of thought, as they jump to worse case scenarios.

I doubt I will return to this thread, as I'm very uncomfortable with it.

[Joshua]

I'm seeing a lot anger and assumptions being made.

I agree, I may only be returning to the thread to close it should it continue on this course.

[amy123]

Hey Josh,

you was the one who told me to start this thread,is it because you are looking for an argument or possibly more?

[Tammy]

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[Ocean Wolf]

1. I've never known Josh to try to start an argument. What do I know though?

2. It's true there was some mud slinging... to more than one person.

3. It sucks that you're having a hard time right now.

4. I have a hard time thinking of what kind of private things I put in PMs that I wouldn't want staff to read. I put my personallty stuff out in the forum anyway. But that might just be me.

[Joshua]

Amy,

Could you please provide me your reasons for why i must want to start an arguement with you as ive asked you to start a new thread and not make one i have previously made about your issues?

[amy123]

josh i dont know why you say this. it is okay for u to ask me to make another thread the u talk aboout something else and threaten to close it.u get the rules posted on here but u dont say that it is not ok what was siad about me. im not breaking the rules. why would u close the topic? and i feel u are not answering me just sayin i am arguing.i asked why what your post in notice board was for u didnt answer me. what are my issues i dont understand you.

Amy.

[Joshua]

Amy im affriad im not prepared to spend any further time in responding to this thread. Now to be accused of doing so just to cause an argument etc.

Hope the thread serves you well.

[amy123]

ok josh u won't answer but u want us to answer u when u want info. i thought u were going to close this thread. you say one thing i reply then u say something else. you dont want us to debate but u wont answer.