Should A Pm Stay Private

[rain]

This is pointless and spirit-breaking.

Josh is hardly being malicious, this cut and paste and twist stuff is making me feel dizzy and uneasy.

Is anyone gaining from this?

[Hayz]

u no i love this bpdworld and i look forward 2 comin on here at night but its startin 2 really upset me with all this arguin please stop

[NeedAName]

Just going to drop my thoughts on this topic around the original point of PMs.

I personally think that it is good that PMs are checked by senior members of staff, it means that if a user does abuse another user over the PM system, a senior member of staff can verify this right away without asking for copies to be forwarded which can be edited to make it look like someone did something wrong.

It also helps to protect users, the whole subject of this site is to provide support and such from my understanding and so users should be protected from people who could send abusive messages. The only downside is that if you wanted to keep it private then you would have to find some other way of contacting the person.

I would suggest that an option should be added to the PM window for users to say that they don't want it to be read, so the PM wouldn't get logged, if that's possible at all.

[DaisyChain]

Firstly, I feel I need to apologise for the way that this has been read, by many, as being an accusation, or some way to make Amy123 feel terrible.. I am sorry to know the feelings that arose from this question. This wasnt meant in any way a personal attack on you Amy. I have replied to you in the past with what I felt as compassion towards you in your struggles with life at the moment.

I however realise now the impact of the statement alone, without full explanation, for that I am deeply sorry.

Below is what I oroginally posted, yet left the forums shortly afterwards, and therefore wasnt around to clarify further.

Amy when you have so much going on in your life, with your daughter, your father etc, why is this such a big deal?

This wasnt meant to serve as a reminder of your families tragic circumstances, it was a question bourne out through concern for a fellow member here, someone that I have seen suffering for a number of weeks. My point was really to ask and clarify is there is something more to this PM business, if this has triggered yet more fear, and angst and brought up feelings of betrayal. I know when things are so difficult in our lives, it seems like even the small everyday things go wrong too. I wondered I guess if some of the anger and hurt that you feel is being transferred onto the issue of PM, and having control ripped from us (Which technically it isnt, because it was never ours to begin with) but the feelings of betrayal, something that you must be feeling in your everyday life right now. There seems to be panic and fear and anger in what you have written about here.

I guess my point was that I do care, I would never wish to personally attack you, I am sorry that this got so very out of control and hurt you, and others - it was never my intention.

Originally I just wanted to make links and see why this subject was so antagonising and upsetting for you, given the tragic circumstances you are living with at the moment, so see if there were any links with the fears, and the feelings surrounding it.

It is a fear that I have had in the past, being betrayed, who is reading what, I get frightened, and want to run away, personally it makes me feel spied on which is a trigger for me. The only way I can justify this for myself is to know that only senior staff and Josh have this access and that essentially they are doing it to protect us, the community as a whole.

I wish you well Amy on your journey.

I hope that you accept my apologies and that we can move on from this

With kind thoughts and best wishes xxx

[gun_747]

Hey guys,

Well it looks like this is the end of this debate, given that the contributors to it have been banned...I do wonder for future reference whether it is worth any of my time to assist and help - or for others to donate money - if they get banned for ambiguious reasons...

may I say for the record publically guys (since most of you here know me and fairy very well and how well we clicked with each other) that I have never made any complaint to any member of staff about her...and we tard off one another in chat rooms and PMs for a bit of craic...hence the nature of our relationship being built up to it...

if anyone has a reason for banning someone they should do so legitimately and not use me as a catalyst nor an excuse - if you have the right reasoning to do so then you don't need to exaggerate claims just so you can produce a clone of yes men.

stevie

[AndyL]

People are banned for repeatedly and flagrantly violating the Terms of Use. As the owner and administrator of this board, Joshua is naturally a lightning rod for complaints, attacks and such, and he puts up with more abuse every day than the average member here suspects or realizes. Ad hominem attacks are not welcome against any member, period. Repeated misbehavior gets one banned. The lesson: play nice. Respect everyone and their opinions. Support each other. It's what we're here for, remember?

[x.glitter_raindrops.x]

well said Andy

while I respect that Amy had an opinion she felt she needed to address, She may not have done it in the best way

it is a shame

I am a bit dissapointed at the post that was made about "brown nosing" staff

I feel like that was aimed at me due to the post i made

I made a statement which is then made out to be brown nosing

opinions are made and people are made to feel inferior for it

sorry, its a lil bit of a rant lol

I understand what Im trying to say, not v good at putting it into words tho

lol

I hope the negativitiy on the board can now die down,

i come here to escape the negativitie in life

Love to all

x

[jackdanial's]

this seems so simple i dont get why its still a problem. josh made the site and pays most of the bills, and therefore makes the rules. dont like it, too bad, find another site. its the way the rest of the world works, why did anyone think that would change here.

[Ocean Wolf]

Daisy, I would just like to say, I got what you meant. Just was afraid to say so because I was afraid tehy would get all pissed off at me too. Sorry I'm selfish.