Accepting Uncertanty In Life

[sundries]

I've been thinking about how much uncertainty is something many psych professionals (officially at least) don't seem to have much room for.

For instance, there is no acknowledgement that there might be circumstances in which life is not valuable, or at least that it is reasonable for someone to doubt that life in their circumstances is not valuable for them. Any doubt that life is valuable is put down to mental illness.

I suppose Ive been thinkng about this because there has been so much on the news recently about the whole assisted euthanasia debate.

and I suppose I also wonder if and in what circumstances people think life does not have value...

and if it always does, why?

and if it doesn't, then what is it that is valuable about life?

[rain]

I don't know, I see my life as of now as not valuable... but I guess the thing is is being able to be flexible in your thinking, in the ability to change things around?

Right now I feel I can't function as I get so anxious and so depressed, so no job, income, no relationships... just nothing. If this would shift I hope there would be room for change and decision. See then I'd hope to do something in life along the lines of intervening in kids that have hard lives (some function or other), try to explore what I like doing as a form of self-growth and standing for something, like being an ethical consumer and actively fighting against violence in the home/for children's rights etc.

If there was possibility for a package like that, where I feel I can function and blossom and make some change or other in this world, then that would be ideal for me.

Today I was on public transport already crying away as the things I was passing all had unhappy memories, and the youth on the bus seemed to be so shallow and materialistic - I definitely went into - life is crap and meaningless, and technology and whatnot is dehumanizing these kids. But maybe I was exaggerating there, and hopefully life isn't all rubbish. Maybe there is some community or something I can belong in someday, and maybe there are people whose lives I have yet to touch, and people I have yet to form wonderful friendships with. I can only hope.

Apparently in this country you can ask a psychiatrist for euthanasia... people I met in psychiatric hospital were going to get that done or were thinking about it. Breaks my fucking heart - good people with their heart in the right place, with potential... the sickness is just plaguing their mind. I hope they can look back in some length of time and be so thankful they did not go through with that.