An Anorexic Mind

[saskia]

Although I've only been properly ill with anorexia twice, I feel like my mind is constantly diseased with it. Even when I'm eating normally and physically healthy I know it's still in me, waiting to rear it's ugly head. Has anyone managed to kill it completely?

[Faerielight]

hope sorry hon.. i feel the same as you tho im living off fortisips theyve given me my belly back but in anamode atm tho it swich to binging. hopoe u get some better advice than me! hugs faerie x

[rain]

I have only been temporarily plagued by that voice in my head, I somehow came out of it. I just wanted to give you some validation for your illness. I read somewhere on here sometimes anti-psychotics can be prescribed for that obsessive anorexia type thinking. I am on seroquel for BPD. My suicidal thoughts seem to be gone from that alone. Obviously you must consult your doctor about it, but it could be an option.... I mean it really isn't a life of quality when it revolves around obsessive thoughts. I hope whatever you do, it works out for you x

[roxy222]

Although I've only been properly ill with anorexia twice, I feel like my mind is constantly diseased with it. Even when I'm eating normally and physically healthy I know it's still in me, waiting to rear it's ugly head. Has anyone managed to kill it completely?

yes I have. I was down to 6stone twice as a teenager, and up to 14stone early twenties. now Im healthy weight and dont feel anerexic anymore. when i was ill I felt very ill, but I never felt addicted to my ed because I never saw a future. like I was a chronic s/h also, but never saw this as a coping mechanism because i couldnt face the idea of a future. so I dont think I had a typcal ed so not sure if my being better helps you. sorry. feel like Im being useless now. I do find it easy and normal to eat now, as I please, where as before i was unable to even swallow. but I was never obsessed with food the way alot of anas are. sorry if this doesnt help. good news though is Im physically perfectly healthy, despite being nearly dead twice from ana my body has recovered fully so maybe that could be a nice thing for you to look forward to? wishing you hopexx

[saskia]

Thanks everyone for your messages. I don't really know what's up with me. My body has been fairly healthy for a few years now but I am constantly thinking of food and usually suffer post-eating guilt. I do quite a lot of exercise in response to this guilt. I am a teacher and I have to eat to keep up my energy levels but I feel like my mind is polluted. I just want to be able to not think about this shit!

xXx

[~LouLou~]

Although I've only been properly ill with anorexia twice, I feel like my mind is constantly diseased with it. Even when I'm eating normally and physically healthy I know it's still in me, waiting to rear it's ugly head. Has anyone managed to kill it completely?

You know, I was about to post a very similar question myself.

I have been diagnosed with EDNOS and even though I have been eating relatively normally for a while now I still worry about the amount of calories I'm eating. I still get the urge to purge after eating and everytime something stressful happens in my life I go straight back to my disordered eating. Maybe I never actually recovered. I just tried to convince myself and everyone around me that I had.

At the moment I am particularly stressed and I am straight back to my old ways. The sad thing is part of me wants to stay this way. It's one thing I have control over in my life. I want control and I want to be thin. I see thin people as being liked and popular. An awful way to think I know.

I guess I feel exactly the same way as you do. My mind is constantly diseased with my disorder.

Loulou

x

[saskia]

I know what you mean about wanting to be thin. Your mind tricks you into thinking the illness is something you've chosen and that you're in control, when in reality it's controlling you.

Stay strong LouLou

:hug2: