What Happens If Bpd Goes Untreated For Years?

[blueberries]

What I read says BPD gets better with time. Is that if treated or in spite of no treatment? How does that work? What if it doesn't get better? Then what?!

[Rael]

personally i think bpd gets better over time because we become more aware of our own fallibility and learn where we have gone wrong in the past. same as anything its becoming aware of how to learn from your own mistakes, seeing where you can grow and how you can move forwards. i think getting treatment is key to a lot of this, mainly therapy as when you become stuck in the same patterns of behaviour it can be difficult to see for yourself how to get out of them, sometimes you need fresh eyes to guide you and teach you skills to help you through.

are you receiving any treatment at the moment?

xxx

[blueberries]

Yes I am currently in treatment with a great psychodynamic/psychoanalytic therapist. Have been with her for almost 2 years.

I havebeen in therapy many times over the past 15 years but the type of treatment did not help (CBT, REBT, etc).

Now I am older (past the half-century mark) and in therapy I love and with a diagnosis received in the last year that would have been

helpful to have 30+ years ago.

So, I wonder if treatment is different for the older person.

It has gotten better with time but I question some of what might be defined as 'better'.

I have stayed in my field of work for many years and just began a management position. Something I thought I wouild never do but can because I have therapy and my therapist's support. My internal expreriences are still very intense and still make all areas of my life so difficult that besides work, I stay isolated.

My life is mostly behind me.

I hear of treatment being spoken about in reference to a young person.

I wonder if there are others who didn't know their crazy inner world was BPD until later in life.

If so, did they seek therapy and what impact did that have on their lives.

I guess sometimes I still wonder, what's the point of it all.

[Rael]

well im 28 so cant really answer it from the perspective of someone in later life but personally i believe that if you are able to do things you couldnt before, even if you still struggle with other things then that is an achievement. 'better' i think is a personal thing, some people say that their symptoms can disappear, i dont think they will ever disappear for me so for each thing that i can achieve or live with that i couldnt before then i consider that better. just because you have come into the diagnosis later does not to me mean that therapy cant help, now that you have been given the diagnosis of bpd its a new chance for you to work specifically on certain things, its never too late for something to help you. i wouldnt worry about what better means to anyone else, i would just think about the things that YOU would like to work on and feel better about.

take care

xxx

[deetoo]

I am not quite 50, and was diagnosed with BPD for the first time almost three years ago. It was very hard for me to accept this label as I don't act out much, don't experience rage and so forth. It took a very skilled psychologist and a lot of research on my part to see how anyone could possibly say I had BPD. Anyhow, having got through the acceptance part, I hit a wall of grief that no one pegged this sooner. I have been in and out of therapy since the age of 14 or so, and my core problems never seemed to shift. I kept ending up in a state of almost total isolation, jobless, hopeless...

As for whether things get better with age...I can only speak for myself. The backlog of unresolved stuff led me to a very bad place three years ago. I decompensated, for lack of a better way to say it. I guess one could also simply say I had a 'nervous breakdown.'

But out of that has come an understanding of what I have been struggling against all these years. Fortunately I have now connected with a psychologist who is prepared to stick it out with me until I get better. Better late than never I guess.

I too tend to feel that it may be too late, that my life is more over than ahead of me. But I still hope to experience a few good things in the future. Simply not being so alone all the time will be a major bonus!

So much for my two cents worth...

[Tray]

hmm, hard one

i only got dx last year at the age of 31

althou i have issue's all my life, i like to think i coped ok. held down a job, relationship, studies and was fine... but i know that i was fooling myself... since being dx, i have been able to evaluate a lot of my behaviour patterns and see why i act like i do, and have done things ion my life...

i sonetimes think if i got dx earlier i wouldnt never have gotten so bad, to do all the things in my life that waqs really bad, but then again, if i had been dx earlier i wouldnt be the person i am today, the studious hard worker, who can hide myself enuf to cope in the real world. i think it would have done me more harm to have been dx before i learnt how to hide certain aspects of myself, by myself...

now i am dx, i think it helps me understand myself more, why i behave like i do, and will change my life for the better, but on the other hand, i sometimes wish i didnt know and was free to live the way i did, without knowing why i get like i do, and being able to live in denial that i have a prob

i think bpd does get 'better' with age, but only becuase we learn how to wear a mask of normality so that we can fit in better with people around us... life experiences are what helps us fit in and that only comes with time regardless of wqhen we get dx

thats my thoughts anyway lol

[blueberries]

Thank you to all who replied. Much appreciated.

Yes, I agree with this very much! :

i think bpd does get 'better' with age, but only becuase we learn how to wear a mask of normality so that we can fit in better with people around us

[aussiebabe]

I am 43 and was diagnosed over 2 years ago.

Sharonx

[Faerielight]

i only got told about my bpd 4 years ago, although in my notes i was dx at age 22 but never got told.. i tried to get help from aghe 17 but only got it 4 years ago, so at age 37 im so fucked up and feel iller than when i was younger.. so for me i think ive got worse., due to not having help for so long.

[flying butterfly]

I am 54 years old have benn diagnosed with emtionally Unstable Personality Disorder with Agrophobia and long term low/deppresive mood but were I live thry treat me as an "Attention Seeker""or like an adolesant who has no experience with life who has no inteligence and that makes me Angry further debilitating me

[drew]

well u cnat do out about the past so i woulnt worry when u got diagsesed just that u have

[blueberries]

well u cnat do out about the past so i woulnt worry when u got diagsesed just that u have

Hey thanks. Course you can't do anything about the past, I agree.

But in general what I read about the diagnosis and treatment seems to be directed toward younger persons.

Sometimes I am really envious that younger persons get treatment and it probably changes their lives, allowing them

to live the life they want to live, achieve what they want to without the obstacles that BPD throws in the way and can

make a person stop trying, stop wanting.

So, the older person with BPD then.. There isn't the desire to help this person so she/he can find a mate, continue their education, make a life for themselves.

The older person has trudged through life and now here when there is more past than future, I wonder how that makes

the diagnosis different, the treatment different.

I feel very dependent, I feel very young inside. When my symptoms flare (recently rage visited and I could not get rid of it and I could hardly function), I feel immature and yet... I now have a great therapist and love the therapy I'm in.. and it is so hard to bring these symptoms to therapy and / or sometimes hard to have them heard--really heard.

Oh I'm rambling I guess. Very tired.

It's just that BPD seems like a very different thing for an older person than a younger person.

[walker]

I agree,

I am 44 and was only diagnosed in July

I do not have the extreme addictive, or impulsive behaviour , or the history of sh, so it is still a big IF for me

But I can see how much of the diagnosis makes sense, .

Like you, I feel very very young inside, and I think the older you are, the harder that is to accept - not just for ourselves, but for others, too.

And if you have 'coped' through much of you life, then why not just carry on?

Children leaving home, parents aging, and a brother emigrating - have all contributed to a deep depression and increase in symptoms over the past year.

But it is not something the mh services are really expecting to see, or help, in people of our age.

I am glad you are having some good therapy

I agree that age brings increased control in some ways

but the twisted logic, and my view of the world and myself - have become so deeply entrenched, I do not know if I can change them

[wednesday]

......And with being older, I sometimes feel a deep embarrassment about having this 'addiction' to playing the child and looking for support from others. I think I am still looking to be parented and I want constant praise from others as though I have no core. I am embarrassed that I have reached this age and still act like this. I also feel a deep regret for all the years I have wasted, struggling and feeling unhappy and desperate.

I do realise that this is pointless and I should live in the moment, but sometimes it is difficult.

[deetoo]

Just thought I'd add that for me, while it is often difficult feeling so young inside, it does have its up sides. It is very easy for me to get along with kids, for example. And I don't feel like some stick in the mud grown-up. There can be a lot of whimsy in this state of affairs. Movies that I found funny when I was 8 years old can still make me giggle for hours. I love to build snow men. And I was the one who asked my niece and nephew if they wanted to go sledding recently, before they even had the idea. That won me major points with them. And we had a blast, although my middle aged bones were a bit out of sorts the next day!