He Came On To Me!

[daisy duck]

:wub:

I was always the sensible one of the family,my 2 brothers are alcholics and i argue with them so much.My mum and dad are the best i could ever wish for...

i'm so lucky in that sense.I have been with my partner for years(im 25) and although we have split a few times i have never been alone.We split cos i pushed him away...as i do with anyone i love.My moods and depression have always been a massive problem in every aspect of my life and i have come so close to ending it.Im glad i found the stregnth not to.

Past issues still effect me deeply and i used to self harm a lot...even on my face.I have blue eyes,long hair,slim and i have been told im very attractive.Thats not how i feel,thats all a lot of ppl are interested in...the outside of me.Think that might be why i used todamage my face.

I went to the docs once about the depression and he said'how can a pretty girl like you be depressed?'

i couldnt believe it...other ppl dont understand like us.I wear what i call a mask around ppl,act as if im fine when im not.Do ppl think we should look a wreck cos we are depressed?

I went to hypnotherapy about something that happened to me years ago...it took so much for me to go.I was making progress,told him what happened.After 3 sessions he came on to me and asked me out...it destroyed me.Is that all im good for?can a woman not be friendly without that happeneing or is it vibes i give out?

Most days i feel better and i believe i'll get through it ,i do and so should all you.

I always look at the inside of a person,never judge.....why cant other ppl?

We arent mad...we just struggle.

xxx

thought id share that

[rain]

I can't stand that. The stereotypes. One stranger saw me when I was so bloody down and said... you're young, young girls like you are meant to be happy! Or about my age....? I'm meant to be thick cause I'm 21, a bimbo and an airhead. If I get attention from strangers for my looks, apparently, I feel sick.... I am not walking around as an object of lust for them. I don't like this world that much, feel like it is alien and I don't belong.

[daisy duck]

I can't stand that. The stereotypes. One stranger saw me when I was so bloody down and said... you're young, young girls like you are meant to be happy! Or about my age....? I'm meant to be thick cause I'm 21, a bimbo and an airhead. If I get attention from strangers for my looks, apparently, I feel sick.... I am not walking around as an object of lust for them. I don't like this world that much, feel like it is alien and I don't belong.

I agree,is everything to do with age or looks?I don't get those ppl and all we can do is not surround ourselves with ppl like that.

I get told to cheer up a lot when im walkin down the street!!...cheeky or what!what gives anyone the right to assume?

thanks for reply xxx

[Roses]

I get that A LOT. Ever since I can remember boys/men have stared at me and put me on a pedestal because I'm allegedly "pretty". When I was in hospital I ran away (lots) and one time they brought me back a policeman of about my age had a chat with me and told me I was not like the other people in there and I didn't belong there (because I was pretty and speak with a posh southern accent). He didn't know anything about my illness! He was being a total arse. Depression happens to all types of people from all social backgrounds. I felt totally patronised and just like I was not a real person just an image.

[eli-lilly]

Hi,

I think it is sad when people assume that just because someone 'looks' beautiful they should be happy and have the world at their feet. Are they trying to say that the world is superficial or that the person they are saying this to is?

I have to say that for a long time, I believed 'looks' was the only good characteristic I had. And I used it to get the attention I needed. I wish that mental illness was more understood and less frequent. Maybe this would not happen as much then.

I too hope for a world where people would stop looking at what's on the outside and see what's on the inside. Maybe then, they would have seen through all the smiling childhood photos and noticed a broken hearted little girl....

-rebex

[Roses]

Exactly. You've hit the nail on the head Rebex.

[roxy222]

totally identify, Im exact same, blonde blue eyed great figure, I get so disgusted when people chat me up. I have a great boyfriend anyway, its not like I go out to meet guys, but I feel like I get stalked at times, chatted up in coffee shops, supermarkets etc. I hate getting eyed up, my friends think Im lucky, people are nice to me cause im so pretty they hold open doors, let me ahead in ques, seat me quicker in resteruants, it just makes me sick that appearance even figures in it. I like to look nice, but I never bare flesh and Im so not tarty looking at all, I barely even wear make up and Im more likely to bite my nails that get them done, and yet I still get so much attention. I get so bugged by this!! people prodject so much on to you when your pretty, they assume so much, and its all about them never about you.

[daisy duck]

totally identify, Im exact same, blonde blue eyed great figure, I get so disgusted when people chat me up. I have a great boyfriend anyway, its not like I go out to meet guys, but I feel like I get stalked at times, chatted up in coffee shops, supermarkets etc. I hate getting eyed up, my friends think Im lucky, people are nice to me cause im so pretty they hold open doors, let me ahead in ques, seat me quicker in resteruants, it just makes me sick that appearance even figures in it. I like to look nice, but I never bare flesh and Im so not tarty looking at all, I barely even wear make up and Im more likely to bite my nails that get them done, and yet I still get so much attention. I get so bugged by this!! people prodject so much on to you when your pretty, they assume so much, and its all about them never about you.

im the same...if i wasnt pretty most men wouldnt give me the time of day.Being attractive doesnt automatically make us happy

thanks

xx

[daisy duck]

Hi,

I think it is sad when people assume that just because someone 'looks' beautiful they should be happy and have the world at their feet. Are they trying to say that the world is superficial or that the person they are saying this to is?

I have to say that for a long time, I believed 'looks' was the only good characteristic I had. And I used it to get the attention I needed. I wish that mental illness was more understood and less frequent. Maybe this would not happen as much then.

I too hope for a world where people would stop looking at what's on the outside and see what's on the inside. Maybe then, they would have seen through all the smiling childhood photos and noticed a broken hearted little girl....

-rebex

thanks for reply.I hate that ppl assume that.Why cant everyone just love ppl for who they are and not judge

xx

[daisy duck]

I get that A LOT. Ever since I can remember boys/men have stared at me and put me on a pedestal because I'm allegedly "pretty". When I was in hospital I ran away (lots) and one time they brought me back a policeman of about my age had a chat with me and told me I was not like the other people in there and I didn't belong there (because I was pretty and speak with a posh southern accent). He didn't know anything about my illness! He was being a total arse. Depression happens to all types of people from all social backgrounds. I felt totally patronised and just like I was not a real person just an image.

[daisy duck]

I get that A LOT. Ever since I can remember boys/men have stared at me and put me on a pedestal because I'm allegedly "pretty". When I was in hospital I ran away (lots) and one time they brought me back a policeman of about my age had a chat with me and told me I was not like the other people in there and I didn't belong there (because I was pretty and speak with a posh southern accent). He didn't know anything about my illness! He was being a total arse. Depression happens to all types of people from all social backgrounds. I felt totally patronised and just like I was not a real person just an image.

What gives ppl the right to make judgements and stare?to assume we are okay cos we are attractive?

they dont know what goes on in the inside

xx

[roxy222]

i think iv majorly over compensated so that others will look past my appearance. i feel i have to be clever and well educated and hard working and overly generous because i think if im selfish or pull a sicky or say something stupid people will judge me harsher because Im so pretty. Im scared of people thinking Im stuck up or rude or lazy or dumb or ungreatful, which is bizzar because i dont care about peoples actual opinions of my abilities just that they will take my apearence into account when they judge me. i onced got told that I was so lucky because all I ever had to do was sit there and look pretty and people would fall at my feet to make me happy, I think Im terrified of anyone assuming that I feel that way. and it gets to me still now because even though Iv got a good degree and work hard at my job and take care of myself and am a great friend I am still known as the beautiful one. and I find girls get so jealous of that too, like if I get my hair done and am happy with it and say so I get dirty looks and people saying things like check her, or your hairs allways perfect etc etc. A friend of mine had me model for her business recently, I hate getting my fotos done becaue part of my abuse involved fotos so I get really tense, the fotographer was ace, so relaxing and not at all sleezy. when the fotos were done I was thrilled cause they looked lovely and I was so surprised cause getting them done was stressful so it was really nice to see myself looking happy, when I said this all I got were dismissive comments, like yeah thats just the air brushing etc. so basicly others can enjoy me being pretty, men can perve on me and friends like that I get chatted up cause then they get to meet guys, but I cant actualy enjoy my appearence myself??? and the minute I put on weight or get a spot everyone comments on it, but if I commented on them they would be mad, cause their so over sensitive about their weight etc, like I dont have the right to be sensritive about my looks just cause they are good. oh and god this really gets me, in the last few months people (including strangers) have told me Im too thin, too pale, and my boobs are to perky!! if this was the other way round, if someone said that a person was too fat, to fake tanned, to saggy boobed then itd be totaly non pc, but just because my looks are good others are allowed to comment on them, like Im public property just cause Im pretty!!

god this has turned into a total rant, sorry for hijacking your thread, guess I didnt realise how much this was bothering me!xx

[rain]

What we look like is just a matter of chance, in our DNA. What does it matter anyway!? It is horrible the amount of people that are lookist... but people do associate it with positive things, like friendly and successful. I don't feel pretty, but sometimes I get attention, and it pisses me off to be honest. I am not walking around to be harassed by them... it doesn't feel like a compliment at all!!! I was watching a beauty contest yesterday, and most of the candidates bar two, had these horrible non-genuine glances! Only two had gleaming genuine smiling eyes... they looked pretty. But what is the point of that type of show? Beauty is an accomplishment? If guys want to screw you, you have 'made it'? I really question that, all the money pumped into it and then a diamond crown? Because their DNA formed a human with certain symmetrical assets that need to be praised? I really don't get this!

[daisy duck]

i think iv majorly over compensated so that others will look past my appearance. i feel i have to be clever and well educated and hard working and overly generous because i think if im selfish or pull a sicky or say something stupid people will judge me harsher because Im so pretty. Im scared of people thinking Im stuck up or rude or lazy or dumb or ungreatful, which is bizzar because i dont care about peoples actual opinions of my abilities just that they will take my apearence into account when they judge me. i onced got told that I was so lucky because all I ever had to do was sit there and look pretty and people would fall at my feet to make me happy, I think Im terrified of anyone assuming that I feel that way. and it gets to me still now because even though Iv got a good degree and work hard at my job and take care of myself and am a great friend I am still known as the beautiful one. and I find girls get so jealous of that too, like if I get my hair done and am happy with it and say so I get dirty looks and people saying things like check her, or your hairs allways perfect etc etc. A friend of mine had me model for her business recently, I hate getting my fotos done becaue part of my abuse involved fotos so I get really tense, the fotographer was ace, so relaxing and not at all sleezy. when the fotos were done I was thrilled cause they looked lovely and I was so surprised cause getting them done was stressful so it was really nice to see myself looking happy, when I said this all I got were dismissive comments, like yeah thats just the air brushing etc. so basicly others can enjoy me being pretty, men can perve on me and friends like that I get chatted up cause then they get to meet guys, but I cant actualy enjoy my appearence myself??? and the minute I put on weight or get a spot everyone comments on it, but if I commented on them they would be mad, cause their so over sensitive about their weight etc, like I dont have the right to be sensritive about my looks just cause they are good. oh and god this really gets me, in the last few months people (including strangers) have told me Im too thin, too pale, and my boobs are to perky!! if this was the other way round, if someone said that a person was too fat, to fake tanned, to saggy boobed then itd be totaly non pc, but just because my looks are good others are allowed to comment on them, like Im public property just cause Im pretty!!

god this has turned into a total rant, sorry for hijacking your thread, guess I didnt realise how much this was botheri

wow im glad i started this...now we realise we arent alone in feeling this way.Rant away!!!thats what we are here for.

Its crazy how ppl judge you on your looks.I would give anything just to be happy in myself

xxx

[daisy duck]

What we look like is just a matter of chance, in our DNA. What does it matter anyway!? It is horrible the amount of people that are lookist... but people do associate it with positive things, like friendly and successful. I don't feel pretty, but sometimes I get attention, and it pisses me off to be honest. I am not walking around to be harassed by them... it doesn't feel like a compliment at all!!! I was watching a beauty contest yesterday, and most of the candidates bar two, had these horrible non-genuine glances! Only two had gleaming genuine smiling eyes... they looked pretty. But what is the point of that type of show? Beauty is an accomplishment? If guys want to screw you, you have 'made it'? I really question that, all the money pumped into it and then a diamond crown? Because their DNA formed a human with certain symmetrical assets that need to be praised? I really don't get this!

ive seen those fake smiles on those contests and you are right!what kind of competion judges on just looks?pathetic isnt it

xxx

[Faerielight]

going back to the therapist who cameon to you.. thats completely out of order.. i had a therapist/ hypnotherapist who sexually assaulted me and i took him to court cos he was also a psyc nurse.. he screwed my head up so bad and i was paying him.. wanker!

i dont know how pretty i am i think im fat and ugly but i have my fair share of unwanted hassle from men!.. i have got nice tattoos tho!

hugs faerie x

[daisy duck]

going back to the therapist who cameon to you.. thats completely out of order.. i had a therapist/ hypnotherapist who sexually assaulted me and i took him to court cos he was also a psyc nurse.. he screwed my head up so bad and i was paying him.. wanker!

i dont know how pretty i am i think im fat and ugly but i have my fair share of unwanted hassle from men!.. i have got nice tattoos tho!

hugs faerie x

i have nice tatoos also!!!

i bet you are beautiful inside and out...you just have lost confidence in yourself.

sorry what happened to you.

xxx

[saskia]

God, I love this thread!

EVERY time I've tried to get help from various doctors I've experienced the same comments - 'oh, you're so young and beautiful - you've got everything going for you', 'what's a pretty girl like you getting depressed for?' And I've NEVER seen any therapy through because I am made to feel like a stupid little girl and just have to get out of there. You know, next time I think I'll grease my hair over my face and sit there rocking and grunting - they might actually take me seriously then.

FUCK YOU WANKERS!!!!!! I want to shout from the rooftops.

So much pent-up anger about this - please excuse the strong language

[amy123]

wow this thread is very interesting.

i get the same said to me,like stop being miserable,pull your socks up.

i remember about 3 years ago i went to see my gp cos of the way i was feeling and he said what have you fot to be depressed for?you have kids and a husband,i was like yeah but can't i still be depressed,i was glad when that doctor left,i now have a new gp and she is ok.

i remember at the time it really put me off going to see the doctor cos i felt very uncomfortable with what he said,and also ashamed.

but now i'm finally getting help.

enough of my moaning.

Amy xx

[daisy duck]

God, I love this thread!

EVERY time I've tried to get help from various doctors I've experienced the same comments - 'oh, you're so young and beautiful - you've got everything going for you', 'what's a pretty girl like you getting depressed for?' And I've NEVER seen any therapy through because I am made to feel like a stupid little girl and just have to get out of there. You know, next time I think I'll grease my hair over my face and sit there rocking and grunting - they might actually take me seriously then.

FUCK YOU WANKERS!!!!!! I want to shout from the rooftops.

So much pent-up anger about this - please excuse the strong language

thanks for your reply...dont mind your anger!!i know how you feel xxx

[daisy duck]

wow this thread is very interesting.

i get the same said to me,like stop being miserable,pull your socks up.

i remember about 3 years ago i went to see my gp cos of the way i was feeling and he said what have you fot to be depressed for?you have kids and a husband,i was like yeah but can't i still be depressed,i was glad when that doctor left,i now have a new gp and she is ok.

i remember at the time it really put me off going to see the doctor cos i felt very uncomfortable with what he said,and also ashamed.

but now i'm finally getting help.

enough of my moaning.

Amy xx

really glad your gettin help amy xxx

[hummm_mabbe]

Being a guy and especially one of average looks, I dont get told about my looks, but I do get the "oh you have a degree, youre young, you have a good career blah blah blah as if achievement and money were everything. Its the male version of the stereotype - women "must be happy" if they are pretty, men "must be happy" if they have some ingredients of success.

"As long as you have superficial trophies of material success you must be happy".

[roxy222]

intrestingly the only dr who ever took me seriously (despite a couple of serious suicide attempts as a teenager, self mutiulation at age nine, daily drug use, anarexia, several arrests and two three day sections) was a very pretty young female dr, perhaps she was the only one who was able to look past appearance..... all the rest just perved on me or dismissed me.

[daisy duck]

intrestingly the only dr who ever took me seriously (despite a couple of serious suicide attempts as a teenager, self mutiulation at age nine, daily drug use, anarexia, several arrests and two three day sections) was a very pretty young female dr, perhaps she was the only one who was able to look past appearance..... all the rest just perved on me or dismissed me.

so sad it has to be that way xx

[daisy duck]

thanks for everyones replies

glad im not alone on that one!!!

xxx