RunnyWabbit Posted February 21, 2005 Report Share Posted February 21, 2005 I live with Major depression. Yesterday I was slammed with a depression that came from nowhere, I dont know if its PMS, or whether I am just a bitch. I started a hunger strike, I have been crying all day and I cant seem to stop. I think of myself as a nothing and a nobodyand how everyday I am reminded of that, and how its validated everyday by others, I am sure that they dont know that they are validating it but they are. Man if I go to England like this my family are gonna eat me alive, and I just bought my ticket. POEM I just wrote It crumpled my spirit into a tiny wad, now I am paralyzed by feeling of nothingness, ready to be strewn away, feeling alone and abandoned, feeling I am nothing to anybody on this earth, even though I know in rationale that that isnt true, yet I still feel crumpled, wadded up, ready to be thrown away. I dont want to be thrown away. Fuck it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flowergirl Posted February 21, 2005 Report Share Posted February 21, 2005 Not very good with words at moment - sorry. Most of them sound pretty inadequate anyways but, I am thinking of you. You are heard. Hopefully it will lift as quickly as it came. You are somebody, you are special, you are cared for, please be gentle with yourself. Take gentle care of yourself Flower x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandaprincess Posted February 21, 2005 Report Share Posted February 21, 2005 I think I understand. This sounds like what I've been doing recently. The onset of the mood shift is so rapid, like a great flood, and it swirls everything up, so that you cant identify one single feeling, and cant understand why it's happening. When this sudden mood shift affects me, I end up in the most foul mood, and the only thing I can do, is shut myself away in my little house, and wait for it to pass. I cant face people when I get like this. It's terrible, and so difficult for people to understand. I usually find myself wailing: "I'm not being awkward! I'm just being ME!!!" I get so mad at myself for my inability to stabilise myself. It makes me feel pathetic, and sick. So I stop eating. Then it's a downward spiral from there, if I dont manage to pull myself out of it. I hope all is well with you. You have a right to demand some space if you feel that it's becoming difficult to cope with people. Sometimes, being alone for a while helps us get everything into perspective without having people pressurize us for explanations. :mellow: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted February 21, 2005 Report Share Posted February 21, 2005 (((((((((Wabbit))))))))) I hate when that nasty depression bug bites...don't let it get to you it could just be PMS that is enhancing these horrible feelings. I know when I am PMSing I drop into a severe depressions its horrible. Try to enjoy your time in the UK. Thinking of you. LM :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RunnyWabbit Posted February 21, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2005 Thank you fer understanding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted February 21, 2005 Report Share Posted February 21, 2005 Wabbit - I know you are strong. Please fight this feeling and dont give up.... You have too much to come in your life to allow this to control you. I hope you have a wonderful time in the UK..(wish I was going) Take care honey, you are worth it... Ginny :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippy Posted February 21, 2005 Report Share Posted February 21, 2005 Hey wabbit (((hugs))) hang in there, depression is shit when it strikes suddenly but you are strong and it will pass, look after yourself. flippy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budgie Posted February 23, 2005 Report Share Posted February 23, 2005 ((((((((((((((((((((((WAB))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) U r not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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