mum Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 Hi I'm new. Just wanting to find others in the same situation as me. Over the past three months my daughter has overdosed 3 times, continually cut herself deeply, had two abscondments and sat looking at a noose twice. She is (was?) a high achieving perfectionist. She has been unable to turn to us for help and in fact could hardly talk to us for a while. Who else is struggling? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 nit a parent but heres a hhug for bring a caring mum xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mum Posted January 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 nit a parent but heres a hhug for bring a caring mum xxxThank you so much for caring. It made me tearful because all the time we have to cope and nobody ever tells us we are doing alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 my mom does go hru it like u and for so many yrears i just out her thru hell and screamed at her but i can tell her thanks now and i want you to remember to hang on cause someay she willtoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 clearly you care, and love her very muchI am so impressed that a mum would come on here to support her daughterThis is mostly a site for people that experience MH problemsPerhaps others on here can direct you to somewhere that is even more supportive, I dont know. Many people here, share your daughter's experiences.Good luckxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mum Posted January 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 clearly you care, and love her very muchI am so impressed that a mum would come on here to support her daughterThis is mostly a site for people that experience MH problemsPerhaps others on here can direct you to somewhere that is even more supportive, I dont know. Many people here, share your daughter's experiences.Good luckxxI shall read the forums to gain more understanding of what my daughter is going through. However Ihave trawled the internet and, although I can find much advice for parents of teenagers with suicidal feelings, I cannot find any forums. If anyone can direct me I would be grateful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 oh I really hope you find something, but ofcourse you are welcome here, I just dont want you to get more upset.There must be parents wanting to talk - but sadly - many are not as ready to understand and help as perhaps you are.Have you contacted MIND - they may be able to help youTake Carexx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 i dont know how it works inthe uk cause im on the states but he best thing my mom did for me when i was a teen going thru similar things was sign me inpatient to a mental health hosp she wont like you but it 1 it could save her life 2 shell get evelated3 u cant do it for her and4 itll set her up witha health care team Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mum Posted January 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 i dont know how it works inthe uk cause im on the states but he best thing my mom did for me when i was a teen going thru similar things was sign me inpatient to a mental health hosp she wont like you but it 1 it could save her life 2 shell get evelated3 u cant do it for her and4 itll set her up witha health care teamShe (she's just turned 16) is in a therapeutic unit that is very good. She apparently has no mental health illness(!) The unit works with her to take responsibility for what she is doing although it wishes to discharge her soon. They wanted to before Christmas but she pleaded to stay for a few more weeks. It appeared she had not self harmed since december 8th but this weekend we found a noose in her room (she comes home at weekends). I guess she is very scared to return to any form of normal life but she finds it very hard to talk about anything or even to give vent to any feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 sorry but who said she has no mental health illness? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 maybe you should have her join here and promise you wont go behind and read it were very supportive you can even give her my name if she likes jst a suggesion but you can tell her she can also always come 2 u and u wont jude that helps too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mum Posted January 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 sorry but who said she has no mental health illness?Interesting isn't it - the psychiatrists involved (she's had 3 psychiatrists so far). I feel that we are battling with many of the professionals involved who do not seem capable of pointing out the positives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 well something is making her do this, and I doubt its for fun!!the trouble is, they are often very hesitant to diagnose teenagers, as they are going through so many changes emotionally anyway.does she have any release tv - music - sport - writing - reading Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mum Posted January 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 maybe you should have her join here and promise you wont go behind and read it were very supportive you can even give her my name if she likes jst a suggesion but you can tell her she can also always come 2 u and u wont jude that helps tooThanks Jades, that would be good. She's not open to my suggestions at the moment but I will maybe put it to her through her therapist. I really think she needs positive support from others that have gone though / are going through similar experiences. She talks a lot to her friends on the phone but they are feeling strained by it all and two mums have stopped contact with my daughter and one friend took an overdose to see what it felt like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 that would be a good ideaHmmmmmmmm why didnt I suggest it????There are lots of teenagers on here, I think she might be relieved to know she is not alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mum Posted January 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 well something is making her do this, and I doubt its for fun!!the trouble is, they are often very hesitant to diagnose teenagers, as they are going through so many changes emotionally anyway.does she have any release tv - music - sport - writing - readingMusic was her big thing - she was at a top music school. But i suppose it was burn out - she now can't seem to motivate herself to do anything - lies around in her pyjamas often in a darkened room or spends hours on the internet. She does do some reading. she is not responsive to any ideas from me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mum Posted January 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 Must go to work now but thanks you two - i am already feeling a bit better, probably knowing my daughter's not the only one and that i'm not to blame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 im on here early till early evening so if shes new ill find her but the site goes 24 hours Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mum Posted January 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 im on here early till early evening so if shes new ill find her but the site goes 24 hoursThanks Jades - she doesn't have access to a computer in the unit so it will be at the weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 being on the internet and reading - is doing things - however inactive!!my daughter is at conservatoire, so I am well aware of the pressures on musiciansand often it is just too much, too young.I did music at uni, and it is v importatnt to me - so when I am ill, I cant face it at allIts weird, but its just too special to engage with at bad times.Not sure if that makes sense.Has she had any support from CAMHS at all, or is it all private? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 were here then too and pjs are like the uniform for me:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catspiracy Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 Hi, Mum! I'm a mom, too. Welcoming hugs! I'm sorry you're going through this with your daughter, it's so deeply painful and makes one question oneself hard, doesn't it? My stepdaughter (15) is also cutting and suicidal, and I joined here right after her last major incident. When you're a mom, your babies' pain is YOUR pain! I have mental health issues, too, so I've wasted more than my share of energy thinking it's all my fault, so much so that I'm sure I made some of it be my fault thru self fulfilling prophecy. So far, I'm here with my mind wide open to learning from other members, trying to change the way I interact with my daughter. Jades has in particular offered me some teen perspective, thanks Jades!!!!!!! Anyhow, welcome, and feel free to pm me anytime.Love and light,catspiracy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mum Posted January 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 being on the internet and reading - is doing things - however inactive!!my daughter is at conservatoire, so I am well aware of the pressures on musiciansand often it is just too much, too young.I did music at uni, and it is v importatnt to me - so when I am ill, I cant face it at allIts weird, but its just too special to engage with at bad times.Not sure if that makes sense.Has she had any support from CAMHS at all, or is it all private?This is very interesting. She is at Chets and it has been so noticable that she currently can't face her music right now. We were confused thinking that because music meant so much to her that it would help her through it but your sentence 'it's just too special to engage with at bad times' makes a lot of sense.None of her provision is private - been with 4 CAMHS teams overall! Currently transferring to her local one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 12, 2009 Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 Also, if the pressure at Chets has pushed her over the edge, then she probably HATES music right nowI was quite low when I finished my degree, and felt a failure and NEVER wanted to do anything in music, ever againWhat does she play? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mum Posted January 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 Also, if the pressure at Chets has pushed her over the edge, then she probably HATES music right nowI was quite low when I finished my degree, and felt a failure and NEVER wanted to do anything in music, ever againWhat does she play?First study bassoon but also flute and piano. And you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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