jades Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 ive been muddling it around in my head how i got to be soscrewed up how i just check out sometimes how i dont trust menand it alll comes down to sexual abuse followed by maningless sx becuause i thought that was all i as worth followerd ny being sold into prostitution i know this but i have it a box somewhere and dont know whaat to do with it i know lots of you hav had similar exoeriences what do you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy222 Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 hey, I grew up being s/a and was v promiscious as a teenager. Im not too sure about advice but I am now in a happy loving relationship of 6 yrs. not allways easy but mostly good. I think giving yourself as much time as you need and lots of tlc. dont know what else sorry, but it can be donex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 i was in good relationship for 9 years but now that he died im sscared again thans for answering me xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy duck Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 You are doing so wll jade,coming to terms with things that have happened can be done in your counselling.Sometimes being sat thinking about whys and the past can bring us down.Hope your counsellings going goodxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 u r right reason i ask is im having flashbacks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy duck Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 u r right reason i ask is im having flashbacksAfter what you have been through flash backs are normal...i get the same.I try to distract myself by singing,putting some music on or going for a walk.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 good idea glad that sound wrong but at least im not only one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy duck Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 good idea glad that sound wrong but at least im not only oneYou arent alone in the way you feelxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 thanks as always daisey xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy duck Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 :bigarmhug[1]: :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 awww thanks needed that xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy duck Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 awww thanks needed that xxxxyour welcome hunxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faerielight Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 ((((((jades)))))) sounds horrific what youve been through.. i was really pormiscuous for years and sold sex all as a result of my sexual abuse.i did heal my sexuality quite a bit with my old nurse but sme issues are creeping back.. im glad uve got therapy and stuff is bound to come back in the form of flashback s but am sorry youre having to deal with them. hugs faerie xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 thanks for caring faerie hugs xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy222 Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 u r right reason i ask is im having flashbacksI still get flash backs too, and still have missing memories, I think for someof us this is allways a work in progress, doesnt mean that with lots of compassion you wont beable to trust a man worthy of it again some day. take your time. sorry for your loss, I know I find every little new loss like an affirmation of how terrible life is, my negative programing runs deep, it takes time and work to reprogram, and allway vigilance to self carex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GateKeeper_ Posted January 17, 2009 Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 you were with your hubby a looong time.... i noticed people who are married that long have a hard time starting over with new relationships, friends or otherwise espicially. are you in therapy jades? ive read some of your posts... i know it must be hard... im not even old enough to have a relationship that long and im already lonely! i would be really devistated... sounds like you are having PTSD flashbacks... they can go over ways to helpp you with that in therapy cant they? i think they can..... or some therapists should be able to... anyways, i dont feel like im helping any but sorry... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 thanks gatekeeper just respoding means you careso hugs xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sapphire Posted January 17, 2009 Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 Interesting you mention "boxing up"..... I was watching the dvd "Too late for Kate" by BPW (got it from Amazon and includes interviews with Joshua Cole), and the psychiatrist explained that we tend to put our feelings "in a box" and refuse to even go near it. He says that proper therapy should eventually take you to that box, prize the lid off, and gradually deal with what's in there. As in, it's over NOW, and you can get angry NOW and then get past it. e.g. eventually you will be strong enough to have an empty chair nearby, then sit your abuser down on it, then tell the abuser what they did to you, how it has affected you, how dare they do that, whatever you want to say, and finally "you are not going to hurt me any more, F.O." In that sort of sense, anyway. I found it really interesting, but it's gonna take a long time to open my box fully - just snippets come out. Huge hugs, Sapphy xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 hanks sapphy never seen that sound good hugs backxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted January 17, 2009 Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 i think therapy really is the key to getting there, i have the box and at the moment its just sitting in my mind opening up just briefly enough to let memories out to hurt me with flashbacks and stuff but never anywhere near long enough for me to be able to work on, i just dont know where the key is. you have been through a lot hun and i do hope you are getting support, i cant remember if you said you were in therapy or not (sorry such a crap memory) but it does sound like it should help. it will be hard and may take time but you will get there.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayz Posted January 17, 2009 Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 :bigarmhug[1]: :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sapphire Posted January 17, 2009 Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 My CPN has borrowed my copy of the DVD to watch... we are kind of learning the finer details together. s xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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