Katherine Posted February 22, 2005 Report Share Posted February 22, 2005 I'm OK I had a great day at work which really boosted my self esteem. I feel energised and hopeful But also I am so frustrated with my body/hormones...day 35 now..not another 38 day cycle..they are hell when it comes....You know the ones... It aches already but .... still nothing... I start to feel good about being a woman, start to feel some power and then...my body slows down???? How come I'm not crying all the time???(did that last week ) How come I'm feeling positive and ok? Yes I did the anger last week, but now with the help of therapy I am gaining more control with that, more boundaries... And yes, I've been experiencing my cycle as an attack on my body---by that part of me that wanted to stay a child and not have a woman's body..and now I am listening to that child part compassionately, now what? What next? Yeeecccchhhh justarant! BLLLLLAAAAAHHHHH SCRRREEEEEEECCCCCHHHHHH (I'll be on the ibuprofen and lagged up with hotwater bottles tomorrow, just you wait and see!!!!!) Chocolate is nice, but a gal can have too much of a good thing, like me right now, no wonder I am with only a little bit of and a teensy bit of ???? karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted February 22, 2005 Report Share Posted February 22, 2005 A week before I start menstruation I become severely depressed, hurt, angry, paranoid, and rejected. A few days before I start crying hysterically...one time at work I cried from 8:00am in the morning and could not stop all day...My assistant manger asked me what the hell was wrong with me and I said I did now know. Once in college I woke up with these severe contraction like cramps...I had no pills so I had to crawl at like 2:00am into the bathroom and ran the water for a bath and laid on the floor till it was ready. It helped a lot..omg I am so happy I don't really get cramps like that. It happened after work one day on the train to my friend's house and I was feeling really weepy and depressed because I know I would be alone i her apt. cause she was staying at here boyfriends who was my manager. When I got to her apt. I was crying hysterically and they were both in the apt. about to leave and I just laid on her bed crying hysterically depressed, alone and having really bad cramps. My manager tried to make me take a perkeset...its a prescription drug for pain and I refused to take it ater him begging me for an hour...then he gave me a few advil and then took me out to the bar to get me wasted. I did feel better but we did not get home til like 4:00am and I had to be at work at 7:00am the next day and he my manager who got me drunk told me if I was not there he would fire me...he was joking but when I finally got to sleep that night after my manager and my friend left her apt. I heard a knocking at the window and I started freaking out and realized it was my friend who just had a fight with my manager her boyfriend and forgot the keys in the house. So anyway...after like an hour of sleep I proved my manager wrong and went to work. Well...that went off the subject but I remebered it because of my horrific cramps and depression during my period...Its too bad those two were very detrimental to my life because I did have some fun with them but does not balance out the bad times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted February 23, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2005 ((((((LadyEm)))))))) Thanks for responding....Its reassuring and comforting to feel not alone with this. I'm sorry that you've had it rough as well. I find my cycle really interesting because one of the original reasons I started therapy was because of my unstable-female-emotions....only starting to really understand it in depth now....And, on the whole this past week or so I've been more balanced. Hey, I even was great at work yesterday!!!! The cramps are no longer quite so bad now. Thankfully. Apparantly it does get better as one gets older! One day when I was teaching a class of 7 and 8 year olds I got really bad cramps and was struggling to keep going. One of the kids said to me "Miss, you've gone green, shall I go and get Mrs Joyce? " (the Headmistress). The kid did,I was only too grateful as I felt like I was dying. One of the other staff took me up to the GP but though I was virtually collapsing, they did nowt and said I was ok and sent me back home again. I think I spent the rest of the day at home - I lived in the school house on site then. (in the middle of nowhere, but that's another story..) Ha, at least I am off work the next 3 days! (btw the wait is now over. it came this morning. phew!) karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frog Posted February 23, 2005 Report Share Posted February 23, 2005 Hi karilora, Oh yeah, I get really bad months were I am in so much pain, and then grumpy, then cry, then feel good, then kinda clasp, with exhustion! Our mentral cycles are so sensative, if you are under pressure of stress, or ill, the muntral cycle will be the first, to be upset. don't now why, but todo with harmones I think, if I remeber rightly. It's very diff to deal with some months I find, I just wanna stay in bed for days. I find that I can really snap at poeple, and I don't want to but I can't help myself. I find to that I have had months were I have been at work and due on, and I get pain to, like craps, and I have been frozen in the chair before now, unable to move cos you find a postion you can just abut bear and then you freeze cos you don't wanna move. You not alone sweets, I think we shud have a forum for this, PMT!!!! !!! pple just laugh at me when I get angry, cos they now what it is, and isn't that jusy so anoying. Uhm ok I am going off on one now uhmm wonder why!!!!! I have just rabbled on about crap, did I help, sorry if I didn't. Brain overloaded hugs hun Froggers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted February 23, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2005 thanks ((((((froggers)))))) Yeah!!!A PMT forum!!!(or a Women's Forum!!!!!) I DID wonder where to put this thread!!!! uh...feel kinda weepy now...gotta start moving cos my back's aching!!!!(sitting on floor cross legged in front of laptop!) guess I feel weepy cos I'm being taken seriously... When I was in my late teens I tried homeopathic tablets from Boots to deal with my PMT. I was very irritable and weepy and angry and scared and wanting my parents to get the hell off out of my life and off my back from hassling me. But hell could I say that..no. So I ;acted out; I guess. Anyways, to cut a long story short, daddy and mummy said that the pills were making me worse---angry, accusingly, rejectingly, not any of what might've helped, like y'know... rant over again for now---feeling happy a bit again... karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frog Posted February 23, 2005 Report Share Posted February 23, 2005 Hi k, Funny you said about being taken seriously cos I was gonna put in my post but forgot, that alot of poeple don't undersatnd, well men I think cos they never had it and, also some women don't suffer badly with it, but there are thoses that do, and its always a bit of a joke, but I feel it is serious,and so awful if you have to put up with it in two weeks outta 4 or 5 weeks of a month. Sometimes I suffer two weeks before hand. But hey hun, were here 4 u and sending a major big warm cuddle!!! treat yourself, get the devout and wrap up warm, eat lots and lost of chocolate and if you feel like crying have a gud cry, did you now that crying releases a happy harmone so you feel better if you have a cry. Then snugal up in beb and have a sleep, and we will watch over you so you safe. Bug hugs sweetie froggers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted February 23, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2005 froggie sweets, your kind thoughts are very much appreciated..thank you.... therapy was great today, very helpful, lots of good connections, I got out loads of books from the library this afternoon, went shopping, and am having a quiet evening now...am going to get an early night, with duvet, 2 blankets and 2 hot water bottles---and likely 2 ibuprofen before I nod off.....bliss, sort of....!!!! thanks again... hugs, karie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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