walker Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 saw cpnlast timeshe said psychiatrist wont see me as i went down the therapy routemoderately depressedneed therapynhs will only do cbt, or psychotherapy for those in dire need (fair enough)not ready, in right place for cbtso go privateif i fancy meds then go to gpif i think i reach a point where i can do cbt then gp can re referif i have a crisis call them (9 - 4 mon - fri)so, bye thenwell there we are, a lot of fuss about nothing,the people in my head are right, she is right, they are all right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 cpn is a mental health nurse though not a psychiatrist!!!! Don't let their opinion be the final decision. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 its over i know i should be pleased that they think i am well enoughbut im notshe said i need long term psychotherapyshe understood how very stuck I am and said it made sensebut now i have no one, and atm i feel lost and emptyand hub has just come in to ask when I am going back to work (he has no idea of my appt this morning)just really needing friends atm, as my head is filling up with all the 'making a fuss, get on with life,' shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 I'm here sweetheart. Am not to well (physically) atm so in bed quite a bit but will always get back to you. Is a lot to take in when you have a meeting like that possibly having a chat with hubbie and sleeping on it you might feel a bit brighter in the morning. You did it, you had the meeting you know what's what and now it is time to move forwards babe. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiddi Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 Walker, I'm sorry to hear whats happened.She has said you need long term psychotherapy - so she is most certainly not saying you are 'making a fuss, get on with life.'Your head will keep saying it, but she has given further evidence that your head is talking rubbish.Can I ask, what do you want to happen next? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 will not tell hub, not yet anywaythats just itmove forwardstill struggling with that onestill struggling to give myself permissionI had decided in the autumn that I wouldn't be here now, so am trying to come to terms with that tooJust been upstairs counting effexor, but the ones I have left are the lowest dose, so I need to take bloody shed loads - i have 35, but they taste foul and I know i would be sick before I got anywhere at allwhat a bloody waste of space I amits like i am stuck in emotional super gluedear God I hate this, yet is me doing it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crystalfairy Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 Hi Walker,I've not been around much, but I've chatted to you before.Please don't give up.You sound like you could really use some support right now, is there anyone you could call?, the samaritans may be of help.The only voice you need to listen to is your own, not the ones in your head, easier said than done i know - I've been there too. Please hold on, you will get through this.Nightelf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 thanks nightelfdont know what else to saybut thanksxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 thanks nightelfdont know what else to saybut thanksxxsadly I am very unsure as to who my voice isshe seems to be lost within everyone elsesactually think she is the little voice that wants to go, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel123 Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 Hey walkerPlease dont give up.I need you around and so do alot of people.Not really sure what else to say but i am here for you.XXXXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 thanks Angelyou all mean a lot to me,a real lotjust feeling a bit abandoned atmand scared Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 I'll sit with you until you feel a bit better then. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 you are all so good and suffer so much and I am so badam sitting here watching tv, people losing their jobs, and all I want to do is resignthey want to live and I want to leavehub cross with meand all I do is cry and moani shouldnt be here, I shouldnt be anywhereyou are all too good for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 whats on tv? why hubbie cross? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 just the newsall misery and painand makes me feel the biggest most ungrateful bitch in the universehes cross cos I have a job and am not doing it, and want to resign Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claireannon Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 *tight hugs* you are not alone Walker. Perhaps my story might help? I have been rejected by my CPN, psychiatrists on 5 occasions each time i was told that they could do nothing for me as i wasn't ill enough, i didn't fill the right boxes etc etc. On the sixth occasion i was no different but perhaps persistence is what is required and i'm at long last on the waiting list of psychotherapy. So my advice is go back to your GP and get refered backing onto the MHT books. Try and keep fighting things can get better even if only for a few hours. Its not you that is being rejected by the CPN its just you don't fit neatly into any of their boxes - yet. Oh, and i was pushed as far as attempted suicide on the 4th occasion and it had no effect on my treatment options whatsoever. Sorry to be so blunt but i was surprised at the time.*strengh giving hugs*claire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 Why not watch something cheerful sweetie? Your job, your life, your decision. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 i dont know how to live my lifewhen i do it always ends up for othersi have vanishedshiti liked my job, but there is soso much preassure and criticismi cant face iti am so soooooooooo oo sad and empty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nixie Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 big cuddley cuddle for walker... :hug2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AveMaria Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 (((((Hug!)))))) Hope you feel better soon! Have you tried watching something happy or funny to possibly cheer you up yet? Even if you don't feel like it at the moment, theres a chance it would work and then you would feel better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wobbles Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 Walker, it sounds like you're in a really bad place right now, and i don't blame you. It must be really difficult feeling so unsupported and abandoned. I really feel for you.It looks like there are lots of people here who really care for you and that's great.I'm sorry, i'm new here and don't know your history, but are you able to talk to your husband about how you're feeling?I'm in Leeds, and have been referred for psychotherapy, and have been seeing him for a few months now. I'm surprised the NHS won't let you have it unless you're in dire need. How is it that one proves they're in dire need? It sounds to me like you could really benefit from it, are you able to go back to your gp and get a referral sent through? It is wrong to leave you like this and i wish there was more i could do or say.xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted January 21, 2009 Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 she said psychiatrist wont see me as i went down the therapy routeseeing a psychiatrist shouldnt have anything to do with whether you have had therapy or not, psychiatrist are more meds based. if they have said you need long term therapy then they are saying that yes you need help and support. can you contact PALS they can give you advice on the kind of support you should be getting and advice on what to do to make sure you get the right support.im sorry they have left it like this, you do deserve the help though, please keep pushing for it. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 well iguess it was just their excuse then pdocs dont see people cos they are miserble cowspals cant do it, they tried already, thats howi saw this cpndoesnt matterthey know i should go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 walk cnt go u ave to be my mrs grumpy in t morning hugsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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