Roses Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 I see psychiatrist and have therapy. Shouldn't be one or other! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wednesday Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Walkeri can never quite work out what it is that you want from therapy. Are you ready for change?When I was young i had bulimia. I used to go on ultra strict diets (eg 250 cals per day) but would then not be able to keep this up and then I would binge. When I first went to see a therapist I wanted him to fix it that I would not break- I would be able to keep up this crazy diet. Of course, he said he could not help me unless i agreed to be a normal weight.I had to agree to change. He could not and would not 'fix my broken toy.'Can therapy do what you want it to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 what else can i do weds, what else is thereits not just memany mnay people here have eherapy and they still sstucksorrychanging the essence of your being is tnot easy hard enouhg at 24 not 44but am going to try Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Demand long term psychotherapy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 they refused whic damages me moere as it judges me an says she is not illam going private Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 they refused whic damages me moere as it judges me an says she is not illam going privateWell you know my view - I think that could be the best thing you ever decided to do. What type do you think you will go for? It may be easier to find local psychodynamic people, but you know my opinions on schema (wont repeat em as youre prolly sick of hearing it). Does the effexor help anough to get you on a train, if needs be? By the way - Effexor is considered a pretty heavy duty anti-depressant. If you are on that, then no way do they think youre faking it ...Considering youve been through the mill, I would make sure you tell any potential therapist exactly whats happend with the NHS and why they said CBT wasnt for you, and although this might sound odd - why YOU think you struggle in therapy. Its best to get all your worries about how you think you will scupper therapy out up front, that way you arent waiting for him / her to "discover your secret". I would call this secret "massive self invalidation"! Maybe go for a lady this time too?Check quallies, check experience with PD's. Ask for a 'settling in phase' where you get to see if you actually like them - most good therapists will suggest this themself, but its worth noting. Ask about contact outside of session and 'crises'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 they refused whic damages me moere as it judges me an says she is not illam going privateWell you know my view - I think that could be the best thing you ever decided to do. What type do you think you will go for? It may be easier to find local psychodynamic people, but you know my opinions on schema (wont repeat em as youre prolly sick of hearing it). Does the effexor help anough to get you on a train, if needs be? By the way - Effexor is considered a pretty heavy duty anti-depressant. If you are on that, then no way do they think youre faking it ...Considering youve been through the mill, I would make sure you tell any potential therapist exactly whats happend with the NHS and why they said CBT wasnt for you, and although this might sound odd - why YOU think you struggle in therapy. Its best to get all your worries about how you think you will scupper therapy out up front, that way you arent waiting for him / her to "discover your secret". I would call this secret "massive self invalidation"! Maybe go for a lady this time too?Check quallies, check experience with PD's. Ask for a 'settling in phase' where you get to see if you actually like them - most good therapists will suggest this themself, but its worth noting. Ask about contact outside of session and 'crises'.No AD's ross, stopped efexor a year ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jinxsta Posted January 22, 2009 Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 :hug2: ...........all i can do from here.XxXxXx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 thanks jinks, i know you are hurting,, it means a lotRossi will do that, when i have the guts to call heram still worried about the cost, dont have the money atm, apart from inc benefit, and having to save that as school will be taking most of it in feesthanks so much for replying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 I hope it all works out Walker Is good you are getting private help. Thinking of you xxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wednesday Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 what else can i do weds, what else is therets not just memany mnay people here have eherapy and they still sstucksorrychanging the essence of your being is tnot easy hard enouhg at 24 not 44but am going to tryI take your point Walker. Best wishes. Its hard to accept that the NHS certainly does not go on level of need of even who can be helped and who can't. It all seems to come down to the individual psychiatrists and who is running the psychology depts. Its all down to luck. My old pdoc here would not help me when I was screaming for help in every way possible, my new one has been fantastic. Don't define your level of need on what they are going to offer. It has very little to do with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 Hi Missie Walkie TIf the psychoanalytic one is NHS then I can understand the appeal of that. Perhaps give it a try, and if feelings of invalidation do begin to come up if s/he is using drive theory, then at least you will know why that is. They may not actually use DT. If its free, give it a go. If it works, great, if you begin to feel invalidated, then you are in a position to rethink and perhaps finances will be difrferent by then.If you are being expected to pay for the psychoanalytic, then I would say that you have a choice and may find it better to seek out psychodynamic therapy, ideally inner child type approach That is very similar to the 'mode' approach of schema, and I know you liked the idea of "Little T". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 now i am scaredam payingNO NHS at allshit i bloody hate this lifewhy is it all so hardeverything i do is wrongi m sorryi dont want to do the worng thing i am trying to do the right thing but it all goes worng i am sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 now i am scaredam payingNO NHS at allshit i bloody hate this lifewhy is it all so hardeverything i do is wrongi m sorryi dont want to do the worng thing i am trying to do the right thing but it all goes worng i am sorryI know tis hard when youre feeling overwhelmed. Choice feels like a horrible mountain to climb - but if you are paying, then just like if you were buying a car, you have choice. It hasnt gone wrong, you are just being given a choice. If you trust in the recommendation you have been given, then take it, it may be slightly cheaper than other options. You dont have to do what other people tell you - if you want to try this person out, then do it. Choice will always be there - now that you are outside of NHS, you have the power of choice, you have the power to direct your therapy more. You are not beholding to someones caseload or supervisor.Why not look around your area and make a list of all the different therapists and therapy types that are available, and then send a stock email to each? You can say how you are feeling, and that invalidation is a big thing for you too. On top of that there are offical bodies for therapists you might contact - I belive there is one for psychodynamic folks as well as many others. Now that you are outside NHS you are free to take in other peoples views and opinions.This may not be possible for you, but the best therapist I ever had (aside from my current one) came as a result of going for a consultation with a psychiatrist at the Priory Hospital, one near Essex. He put me in touch with my first private, and very good, therapist. You have lots of options now and there is less pressure to 'have to fit' what the NHS pushes on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 no ross choic is badcant do choicse it is all crashing round me i wnat to run but i canti am just a failed peerrsoni dont want choicess i knwo yuo care and want to help but i cant tdo this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted January 23, 2009 Report Share Posted January 23, 2009 no ross choic is badcant do choicse it is all crashing round me i wnat to run but i canti am just a failed peerrsoni dont want choicess i knwo yuo care and want to help but i cant tdo thisPerhaps simply having someone there to listen, support and guide is what you most need? I say go for it with the one you have recommended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2009 finally spoke to her, todayjust brieflyshe wants to meetso I am going next mon morninghavent told hubso more secrets, and more liesdont know if this is right, but its all I can do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jades Posted January 29, 2009 Report Share Posted January 29, 2009 good for u im proud of u walker u should give u a big hug heres one from me hug xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valandil Posted January 29, 2009 Report Share Posted January 29, 2009 All trusts should be following NICE guidelines now.They state that CBT shoud be used for depression of all severities and for BPD.Submit a complaint saying you are not been treated under NICE - you will probabaly get an unhelpful answer, but then go to the Healthcare Commission and complain you ahve n ot been treated under NICE guidelines - everyone I know who has done this has won their case.http://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/index.jsp?...opic&o=7281 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2009 thanks for thatbut tbh I couldnt handle itmy head is always telling me i am wrong, and it is hard enough fighting that, without going publicwhenever they say no, i generally say ok, and runI did go to PALS. in oct - dec, to sort out a meeting with cpn but i knew where it would end anyway - and the cmhc just confirmed what my head tells mebut i will look at the link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted January 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2009 interesting link - sounds just so supportive and NICE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted February 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 okSaw herNew Therapistnot surejust dont knowshe seemed nice and heard mejust stupid things reallyi didnt like her house, it was too clean and perfect and controlled insidei had to go upstairs and turn right which is what i had to do with a T years ago, who was ok but no warm and lovingtoo controlledbut she was nice and i think highly skilledbut i wantd to feel differenti wanted it to feel - YES THIS IS IT - and it doesntshit I dont knowalso, had to lie to hub about where I was goingand my head is telling me i am stupid and bad and making a fuss and shouldnt be doing this and its a waste of money and i will give up anyway cos i always give up on everything F*CK ITwhy the hell didnt I just wipe myself out in the summer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenga Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Well, Walker, I don't know you, but my quick reply to your last question is this:Perhaps maybe you have hung in there for very good reasons... including your kids! When someone takes their own life, I believe it is the living who are hurt the most. I know that you must love your children, and hopefully that means you can hang in there for their sakes, if not for your own.I do know that therapy is hard, but try to look at it as better than not trying, rather than a perfect solution. If you set unrealistic goals and expectations, you will inevitably be let down. If you look at your post again, you did say that you thought she was nice and probably skilled. Just go with that right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted February 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 yeahmaybei think i just wanted someone warm and homely and strongand she is sort of thin and controlled and i dont knowi hell i dont know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 Maybe take some time to get to know her before wirting her off sweetie. xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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