zora Posted January 27, 2009 Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 I don't know what else to post - except I'm only still here because I have two sons and can't do that to them.h. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 27, 2009 Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 I know that feeling, you are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zora Posted January 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 thanks roses(feel very alone, though.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowman Posted January 27, 2009 Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 I share those thoughts. I wish I had more to say - you are not alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zora Posted January 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 thanks snowman - any kindness, (like yours), is keeping me going right now. h. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowman Posted January 27, 2009 Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 Keep posting. Everyone is so supportive. They have so much kindness and time. Sometimes that's just what you need.Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xHx Posted January 27, 2009 Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 Can totally relate to what your saying, remember we'll listen to you and support you, keep posting on here if it helps xHx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zora Posted January 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 I don't deserve anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammi.B Posted January 27, 2009 Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 hey dont say that, you deserve as much as the next person..were all here if you need to talk, if you need to just let it all out.I for one am glad i have found this forum cus it means you can just speak about even the slightest thing that gets to you and people are very supportive even if you dont think your worth it..its good talking to people who understand you..x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zora Posted January 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 thanks sammi - but you guess I'm not doing so good right now. Can't really talk because I'm upset about the abuse forum - to speak out would confirm their view that I'm a bully. (I'm not, by the way - I'm an intelligent, sensitive gal.) Just been let down big time. h.P. S. Feel like it but I won't - there's my kids and some hope there - even if my hubby's been ignoring me all day! Will get some sleep now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammi.B Posted January 27, 2009 Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 Aw..I dont think speaking out would make you a bully.. everyone is entitled to their own oppinions and if it is making you unhappy then you shouldnt feel bad expressing those feelings..but if you feel you cant speak then i am sorry.....i hope you feel a little happier soon huh.. x well keep us updated and if you do feel upset just come speak to us were here :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zora Posted January 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2009 I tend to speak out and then I'm nothing. You alls have little trust - that's Ok, understand.h. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted January 28, 2009 Report Share Posted January 28, 2009 Hi again h,You are a wonderful person, wife and mother. You told me that there were giood 'uns out there - you had found one, and i was happy for you.You must love your husband very much. i was in a 12 yr rel, and i know how the daily grind can bring you down, and a stupid argument or tension can start.I hope you make up with him quickly. I used hate days of the silent treatment.Also i know you feel bad about the other forum, honestly, you are NOT a bully.You know i have 2 kids too, 2 boys. go back 10 years when i was in and out of hospital in my mid 20s, and looking death in the face, i could not do it as i did not want to leave my sons thinking their mum didnt love them enough to stay around.You are a decent and sincere, always have been in our conversations.I knew you were upset about the sa forum, but i didnt know you'd really taken it to heart like this. Im sorry. keep safe ok,take care,anne marie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted January 28, 2009 Report Share Posted January 28, 2009 im sorry that something happening there has upset you so much. im glad you want to stick around for your kids, sometimes when we cant find a reason within ourselves we need to rely on the things around us to keep us going. sorry your husband been ignoring you, i hope that things get sorted.also got that you have managed to get some sleep and that things look a little better tomorrowxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zora Posted January 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2009 abs and raelI'm OK now, lots of thanks to you. Feel like a fraud 'cause I feel so different now. Hubby's Ok with me - diagnosing myself with bpd traits perhaps?h.P.S. Rael - your "details" are a scream.P.S. Abs - you're a total sweetheart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pigsknacker Posted January 28, 2009 Report Share Posted January 28, 2009 thanks sammi - but you guess I'm not doing so good right now. Can't really talk because I'm upset about the abuse forum - to speak out would confirm their view that I'm a bully. (I'm not, by the way - I'm an intelligent, sensitive gal.) Just been let down big time. h.P. S. Feel like it but I won't - there's my kids and some hope there - even if my hubby's been ignoring me all day! Will get some sleep now.I too am new to all the feelings and emotions that you have , My wife has cosen to ignore me and my illness but your friends will help you. Keep talking to people and posting on here as i have found massive strength from the guys on here.The future may look bleak and empty and its alright a stranger saying it will get better but day by day it will feel ever so better. Little by little you will gather control of your life.Like you i cling to the children they make me focused. I tried to take my life on Friday. I didnt . Because i had a small amount of hope in my life. My kids.Please take it hour by hour and try not to let the hurt cloud your love for life and your kids. hope this helps , Take care . Message me ifi can support you in any way. We are all with you.G Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zora Posted January 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2009 Thank you PigsknackerThank goodness for your children!! Hope that you are on an upward path. So sorry to hear you have no understanding at home. My husband is very supportive, just that the other night he couldn't handle my pain and "ran away".I'm getting through this particular crisis. I only feel suicidal when things all get too much and you guys really helped me - after all yours kindnesses and my husband re-connecting with me, my despair eased.Be kind to yourself, although it's a tough one - (I'm trying to be.)h. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 29, 2009 Report Share Posted January 29, 2009 To Hairah and Pigsknacker xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benway Posted January 29, 2009 Report Share Posted January 29, 2009 Hiya H,Glad to read you are feeling better. Glad you & your dh are communicating again too.i know now in retrospect i often took his inability to understand my feelings, mad thoughts and volatile emotions as rejection. And rejection is the one button thats sets me off thinking of s h more than anything.Venting on the forum it a good way to get the 'mad and bad' thoughts out, without it having any reprecussions (sp?). Glad that you are using this tool.Wishing you all good day,take care,anne marie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted January 29, 2009 Report Share Posted January 29, 2009 glad you are feeling somewhat better, im pleased that you and your DH are getting along better, my bf does the same thing of running away or ignoring me when things go bad or he doesnt know what to do and it hurts and feels like rejection. i guess it cant be easy for them and deep down i know my bf wants to help, he just doesnt know how. sometimes i think he is running away from his own frustrations at not being able to help, not running away from me.xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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