Lissy1984 Posted February 24, 2005 Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 I don't know why I feel this way, I'm always so very tired. Tired, dizzy, weak. I've had so many tests done that doctors just put this all down to depression. I can't do anything, the smallest things are hard to do. The house is a mess, Lara is demanding and I can barely keep my eyes open. Yet, when the night draws in...no matter how tired I am, I cannot sleep. I lie awake just drowning in my own thoughts-I haven't felt this bad in a very long time. I just wish the doctor would listen, I've been on these meds a year now! :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raich Posted February 24, 2005 Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 May I ask what meds you are on ?? I have 2 young children, 5 and 3, and I often have days when I felt the same. When I was pregnant I was on other medication.. Now I am on efexor and it works good.. I still sometimes have days when I am really tired and have no interest, and I do also have nights when I can't sleep... I often found these times where when I was stressed or something... I am obsessive, compulsive with cleaning and stuff, so to help lessen my stress my shrink got me a cleaner, she comes in once a week to clean.. this did work, by not having to worry about cleaning it meant my stress level became less..I understand not everyone has the luxary I do... My daughter Kia is hyper active and so you can imagine what a handful she is.. she is now sitting here crying because she wants sweets and I said no.. its never easy being a mother.. go for a walk or sit and watch some telly together.. pay her some attention so later when you need to make dinner or something, you can tell her you gave her some off your time, but now its time for you to make dinner and she will have to entertain herself for a hour till its finished... or if she is old enough get her too help you with cleaning up and stuff, give her a sweet as a *well done* when you have finished... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lissy1984 Posted February 24, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 May I ask what meds you are on ?? I have 2 young children, 5 and 3, and I often have days when I felt the same. When I was pregnant I was on other medication.. Now I am on efexor and it works good.. I still sometimes have days when I am really tired and have no interest, and I do also have nights when I can't sleep... I often found these times where when I was stressed or something... I am obsessive, compulsive with cleaning and stuff, so to help lessen my stress my shrink got me a cleaner, she comes in once a week to clean.. this did work, by not having to worry about cleaning it meant my stress level became less..I understand not everyone has the luxary I do... My daughter Kia is hyper active and so you can imagine what a handful she is.. she is now sitting here crying because she wants sweets and I said no.. its never easy being a mother.. go for a walk or sit and watch some telly together.. pay her some attention so later when you need to make dinner or something, you can tell her you gave her some off your time, but now its time for you to make dinner and she will have to entertain herself for a hour till its finished... or if she is old enough get her too help you with cleaning up and stuff, give her a sweet as a *well done* when you have finished... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Hey Raich, I'm on mirtazapine....this is my 3rd med and it doesn't seem to work anymore. I take the maximum 45mgs per day. I've been on effexor, and seroxat before that. Effexor was great for me, but wore off after about 6 months. I do try really hard with Lara and I can relate when you say its not easy as a parent, I want to do well but always feel like a failing mum. I've come to a grinding halt lately, a lot of terrible things have happened to me the past week-I just cant take it all in Lissy x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raich Posted February 24, 2005 Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 efexor stopped working with me also, so my doctor changed my tablets, but they didn't agree with me so after about 3 months i went back on efexor, now he just keeps takiing them up, but they are working.. your body does get use to tablets and then they don't work any more, or your situation changes and you need more.. try going back on them if you felt last time they worked for you... I am only 29, and also feel like a failing mum... I think its normal... Often I even think I should put them up for adoption, so they can have the life they deserve, and be given what is needed.. we also have money problems.. But I know in my heart the best thing you can do for your children is show them that you love them.. I just read you don't go out.. do you not have any other friends with small children who could help you go just to the play park with Lara, or whom could take Lara for a couple off hours. One thing that has also helped me, is getting the kids to bed on time, my kids go to bed between 6-7pm, that means I have the evening for ME!! Its so important to have your own time, you deserve and you need it.... being a full time mum is a job, a full time job, 24 hours a day... Make time for you and make time for Lara... She is only 18 months, how about having a afternoon sleep together ?? I so know how you are feeling... I am here for you... would it help to talk about the problems you have had for the last week ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lissy1984 Posted February 24, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 It probably would help to talk about the past weeks events, I'm hoping so anyways! But it's such a long story, is it ok to write it here? :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted February 24, 2005 Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 Its absolutely ok hun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raich Posted February 24, 2005 Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 We are all here to help each other... And talking is often the best medicine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lissy1984 Posted February 24, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 Thanks...I'll try to keep it short! I don't want to be any bother... Basically, a man who I trusted very very much and have known since I was 16 was arrested last friday and his PC's were raided and taken. The police claim he has illegal material on them, I'm sure you know what I mean...it caused them to send social services out to ban him from being alone with the children. This is a man I have been intimate with and close to since I was a teen, I really believe I knew him. I met him on the net and yes, he is married. It's been a long and very messed up 5 years but I've always cared about him. Now I feel dirty and used, and I just don't believe he is innocent-even though he protests about it! I have started to slide since this whole thing began and I can't seem to get a grip on it now. I trusted him...I mean, am I so completely stupid not to see this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted February 24, 2005 Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 Your reason for feeling betrayed is completely justified. It cuts like a knife when you have poured your trust into someone and then person has betrayed you. Especially for those of us who have trust issues to begin with...it makes you question everyone around you. Time does eventually heal some of this pain..I have been in situations where men have broken my heart and last November I thought my world was over when my best friend a guy who I fell in love with rejected me. It stll hurts but I am trying to move on. Distract yourself from thinking too much about the situation as it will help you from sliding even deeper into a depresion...use this forum as a place to vent if you are comfortable enough as many of us do...writing and releasing can help heal the pain... I am sorry this happened to you. LM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raich Posted February 24, 2005 Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 We had a posting the other day about abusive people and how we attract them... So he wasn't hitting you or anything, but what he was doing is abuse... If he wasn't doing what they said, then he has nothing to worry about... We don't always see the bad side off people... sometimes because we don't want too.... I am not saying he didn't do it, but it does make me wonder because he was so intimate with you, when you were younger.... Its not your fault though, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it... Is lara from him ?? If not, leave well alone, you don't need people like that messing up your mind and stuff... Lets say he did do what the police say he did, do you really want to put your self and child at risk ?? Its going to take time to get over it, but I think good bye to bad news is the best approach for you... I am sorry this happened to you, and I wish it hadn't, but there was NOTHING you could do about it... :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phantomvic Posted February 24, 2005 Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 For many years I have been tired before I was on the meds Now I accept it part of my life Understand how you are feeling I get real angry about somtimes Im 24 I want live fully active life but cant It now hard it is accept it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lissy1984 Posted February 24, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 I just wish I knew how to feel...as silly as that sounds, I feel lost in a pool of emotion. I feel really p****d off if I'm honest but I'm also very tearful and feel physically awful. I've started washing a lot too, trying to get him off me. It's just all proving too much lately and I don't know where to begin with getting over this. Thankyou all for taking the time to write :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Posted February 24, 2005 Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 Its not silly to not know how to feel, I often think that as a nation that we suppress our feelings and then when something major happens in our lives we don't know what to do, how to cope, and end up bottling it all up. This is a good place to vent those feelings - you have a right to be angry, pissed off, and a lot of other emotions - just don't focus those emotions on you. Don't be angry at yourself, or pissed off with yourself. None of this was your fault. You have my email/msn - if you need to, use it Take care Paul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lissy1984 Posted February 24, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 Thanks Paul, I shall most likely write you later if thats ok. It's been a long and draining day, I can't seem to stop the tears. I rang my health visitor but she hasn't got back to me, so I guess I will just sit here and hope the black cloud passes. I feel like my hearts breaking today, and I feel beyond help :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Posted February 24, 2005 Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 The statement that it is often darkest before the dawn comes to mind. You are talking about your problems, you are letting the emaotions out - that is the start of healing. You have taken the first step. And remeber that you have a lovely daughter, she looks just like mine at that age (will see if I can get a piccie of when she was 2). They grow up so fast that you want to cherish your time with her. You sound like a great mum, and I am sure she will be a great daughter. You will get there Paul ps - I am out this evening, but will answer any emails as soon as I can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lissy1984 Posted February 24, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2005 Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like something is goin to snap? Where you feel under so much pressure that you just feel like you're going to break....I want to kick and scream and cry....but nothing helps. It feels like everything is numbing off and it all feels surreal again... :wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lissy1984 Posted February 25, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2005 Nooooo....I'm losing it. I feel so ill, I'm starting to convince myself again that I'm ill with some serious terminal disease. Oh god, what can I do?!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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