What Is Bpd?

[AndyL]

What are our own experiences? What do we understand BPD to be? Can that understanding help help us cope?

[jades]

i know i have alot of fear of abandonment but from there i get really confused great tipoic andy id like to know too

[jenga]

To me, BPD is profound, unbridled emotion.

And yes, that knowledge can help me cope.

[Tammy]

In my experience, it's constantly wanting to run. Huge emotional unstability. Along with never having a clue as to who I am.

[angel tears]

Hiya

To me bpd is having great emotional problems, feeling unstable, wanting to run away and feeling tortured by these feelings.

I constantly feel anxious, fear of abandonment, not being able to cope with life normally and having mood swings which comes from frustration.

Having the need to be loved constantly and being a people pleaser.

Having urges to to do things that are hard to control like too much sex and spending money.

Feeling people dont understand me and feeling paranoid about this.

[wordsmithy]

it is the screwiness in my head that scares me.

but its the screwiness thats seduces me.

it delivers beautiful punches.

its is something that is entirely individual to the individual.

it turns me from angel to demon.

and abandons and isolates me from everyone else in my darkest moment, when i could need their help the most

it is a secret...

its this shifting thing, that changes all the time, you cant put a stamp on it or draw lines around it.

you don't trust yourself or anyone else

it turns you from baby to adult and back again.

its a label, a name, a "diag-nonsense"

its like being perpetually a teenager, or a small child even.

you grown with it, you get used to its quirks... i hear.

[Marchmadness]

Hey -

WOW Tammy hit it on the head, the feelings of wanting to run. Also the

feelings of being lost.

March

[Wobbles]

This thread is extremely helpful and informative for someone like me who is unsure about a BPD diagnosis. Keep em coming peeps!!

[walker]

yeah, wanting to run, inside my head

having loads of people arguing about everything inside my head

feelin scared of being found out as bad

always assuming that people will hate me

feeling wrong

intense self loathing

not knowing who is me, what i really like

having no idea what i want to do

lost

yes, lost and stuck

very emotional, in and out of tears , laughter, rage, in moments

desperate, desperat longing to be loved and accepted -

[wordsmithy]

being a disgusting human thing/blob but overdoing the likableness so no one will notice. being overly friendly and nice etc.

every move you make is obsessively self-conscious, awkward and disjointed (literally in social settings), like a really bad actor.

you're trying win people over, trying to make them feel good, so they wont get angry with you and upset you.

worrying that people will actually find out, or become consciously aware of how much you need them.

being scared of needing people, and backing off because if they find out you'll repulse them.

[AndyL]

For me, anger, rage and desperate anxiousness over being alone. Darkness closes in around me when I think too much about it.

[i_m_yours]

What are our own experiences? What do we understand BPD to be? Can that understanding help help us cope?

It is very individual. There are people who are very high functioning but still have BPD, and dont have almost any of 9 symptoms, and there are those who are near schizophrenia...

so to help you core, you must find out what is BPD to you.

best description of BPD reality, and normal reality... is in this video: (listen the video its sooo gooood explanation, only listening this can bring awareness to somebody with bpd)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68FkkMhAbCc...re=channel_page

[i_m_yours]

for me PD is - always feeling social anxiety, not knowing how to have fun and be myself. In serious situations - like work etc. - i function, but I cant have fun, at least not how much I want.

[walker]

feeling like a child - crushed into the body and expectations of an adult

[aussiebabe]

A label

A pain

A stigma

[cafonez]

For me, anger, rage and desperate anxiousness over being alone. Darkness closes in around me when I think too much about it.

thats exactly how i feel. anger, rage, anxious. im always feeling defensive. like im ready to be attacked, lack of trust, social anxiety. im always worried people are talking about me or looking at me because they are thinking negatively about me.

[hummm_mabbe]

For me, anger, rage and desperate anxiousness over being alone. Darkness closes in around me when I think too much about it.

thats exactly how i feel. anger, rage, anxious. im always feeling defensive. like im ready to be attacked, lack of trust, social anxiety. im always worried people are talking about me or looking at me because they are thinking negatively about me.

Hi Cafonez and Andy

Im not glad that you feel this way, but am glad to see that Im not the only one!

This is how I feel pretty much 24/7 ....

EDIT: Ok this is going to sound really silly. Im sitting here with a tear in my eye, because you are prolly the first other men I have ever felt I identify with. Seems like its something important for me to think about!

:manly hug emoticon that doesnt make anyone feel uncomfortable:

[jenga]

As we know, some of these posts can overlap.

I don't think we can actually give a definition of BPD, with either a clinical list or a list of people's experiences. What we are doing is describing some traits, many common and some individual, of BPD.

BPD is a label, and things form these lists may occur more often or not. But so many mental health diagnoses overlap, and can even be stronger at times more than others.

I think it's great that we share our experiences. I'm just saying that if you are someone looking for an exact description to see if you are a "BDP person", then you need to be careful. Because it is so complicated, ultimately what matters most is treating your symptoms.

[Wobbles]

I understand what you're saying Jenga, but i'm certainly not going to take what everyone else has said, take it as my own and then decide for myself that i have BPD. Some of the things people have said, i do not identify with, some i do. But i have have a BPD dagnosis, and i've spent the last 8 years since then trying to understand it and come to terms wit it, and reading other peoples experiences only gives me hope that maybe i'm not alone.

[babycplay]

As we know, some of these posts can overlap.

I don't think we can actually give a definition of BPD, with either a clinical list or a list of people's experiences. What we are doing is describing some traits, many common and some individual, of BPD.

BPD is a label, and things form these lists may occur more often or not. But so many mental health diagnoses overlap, and can even be stronger at times more than others.

I think it's great that we share our experiences. I'm just saying that if you are someone looking for an exact description to see if you are a "BDP person", then you need to be careful. Because it is so complicated, ultimately what matters most is treating your symptoms.

Hi Jenga,

That is why its so hard to actually diagnose the condition and I believe many people are often giving the wrong label.

I started to have problems at the age of nine. Over the years I have been diagnosed with every major mental health label. But I never completely accepted them, it is only with the help of the internet, I found out what is going on for me. When I suggested that my condition might be BPD, I was first told, BPD don't exist. It wasn't seen as a mental health issue because at that time they didn't believe it could be cured.

I have had to fight to get what I saw as the right therapy for me. I have now been in therapy for 30 months and everyone who knows me are saying they see such a change. So don't give up.... I'm now sixty, have had a really rougth couple of years, losing a daughter to this terrible condition. But I have managed to keep focused with my therapy. I need to prove there is a cure and anyone diagnosed must be offered it.

For me I have always believed I needed total regression therapy, but there is only one place in the UK where this is carried out. But I have settled for Psycho-dynamic body psychtherapy. My therapist works out where my emotions are at each session. It consists of massage, talking, cuddling, babying, stroking. Integrating the past painful emotional responses with the "here and now".

Always be aware WE ARE ALL UNIQUE, AND WHAT WORKS FOR ONE MAY NOT WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Also because the number combinations, just from the DSM4, makes roughly 6,500 viariants, so each borderline may have many similar experiences and symptoms, but to be the same???????????

Hope that helps someone.

I also added a response to a blog at the below URL, it gives a lot of information on BPD.

Take care.

http://lifefromthesofa.wordpress.com/2008/...ak/#comment-281

[babycplay]

As we know, some of these posts can overlap.

I don't think we can actually give a definition of BPD, with either a clinical list or a list of people's experiences. What we are doing is describing some traits, many common and some individual, of BPD.

BPD is a label, and things form these lists may occur more often or not. But so many mental health diagnoses overlap, and can even be stronger at times more than others.

I think it's great that we share our experiences. I'm just saying that if you are someone looking for an exact description to see if you are a "BDP person", then you need to be careful. Because it is so complicated, ultimately what matters most is treating your symptoms.

Hi Jenga,

That is why its so hard to actually diagnose the condition and I believe many people are often given the wrong label.

I started to have problems at the age of nine. Over the years I have been diagnosed with every major mental health label. But I never completely accepted them, it is only with the help of the internet, I found out what is going on for me. When I suggested that my condition might be BPD, I was first told, BPD don't exist. It wasn't seen as a mental health issue because at that time they didn't believe it could be cured.

I have had to fight to get what I saw as the right therapy for me. I have now been in therapy for 30 months and everyone who knows me are saying they see such a change. So don't give up.... I'm now sixty, have had a really rougth couple of years, losing a daughter to this terrible condition. But I have managed to keep focused with my therapy. I need to prove there is a cure and anyone diagnosed must be offered it.

For me I have always believed I needed total regression therapy, but there is only one place in the UK where this is carried out. But I have settled for Psycho-dynamic body psychotherapy. My therapist works out where my emotions are at each session. It consists of massage, talking, cuddling, babying, stroking. Integrating the past painful emotional responses with the "here and now".

Always be aware WE ARE ALL UNIQUE, AND WHAT WORKS FOR ONE MAY NOT WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Also because the number combinations, just from the DSM4, makes roughly 6,500 viariants, so each borderline may have many similar experiences and symptoms, but to be the same???????????

Hope that helps someone.

I also added a response to a blog at the below URL, it gives a lot of information on BPD.

Take care.

http://lifefromthesofa.wordpress.com/2008/...ak/#comment-281

[jubba]

Having someone who really understands the condition and explain it to you, and then when you tell them about your week, for them to relate that directly to a principle they told you about previously I find comforting in some strange way, and sometimes even funny.

When I left hospital after being regraded to informal, I left straight away to go to my friends alas "intentionally making myself homeless" in the legal sense. This I also guess is the bpd part of me messing up my life...

CPN said "but I'm sure you didn't sit out one night thinking, 'Right, what can I do tomorrow to screw this up even more and make myself homeless' "

having someone like that is 1000x better than having someone who just says "awwww that must have been awful, there there, next week is a new week and should be better"

[Hider]

i suppose i experience many of the classic behaviours and aberrant thoughts, in varying intensities. but the single thread running through them all is that i lack almost any concept of how others perceive me. it is not easy to explain, but i feel like i, as a person, do not exist in the minds of other people except for when i am in their presence. in other words, as soon as i am not in the immediate presence of another person, i feel like all mental image they have built of me simply evaporates and leaves their heads. does that make sense?

[buddah]

most of the time bpd for me is over perception. thinking too much about pointless shit. you know the type. but sometimes it is worse. sometimes neurosis sometimes psychosis. the thing is though bpd is really just part of the human condition. living a self actualised life and having goals and responsabilities do more for me than my meds or therapy have ever done.

realising that you are not any different than anyone else. you are just self indulgent in your thought processes. thats what people are like anyway. we all live a fantasy life in our own heads that has no bearing on reality.

it's the paranoia that gets me though. you cant reason with the unreasonable.

[wordsmithy]

being bpd is going nowhere. stuck in groundhog day of your own shit... or is that just me?